Napalm & Silly Putty

Napalm & Silly Putty

by George Carlin
Napalm & Silly Putty

Napalm & Silly Putty

by George Carlin

Hardcover

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Overview

In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask:

  • How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite?
  • Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff?
  • In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"?
And he makes some startling observations, including:
  • Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
  • Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.
  • Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including:

  • kids-They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either.
  • death row-If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like?

Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection-and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780786864133
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 04/24/2001
Pages: 272
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.00(h) x (d)
Age Range: 13 - 18 Years

About the Author

George Carlin's television breakthrough came in the 1960s with his Hippy Dippy Weatherman character. Since then he has released 18 hit comedy albums, won two Grammy and two Cable Ace awards, and starred in 10 solo HBO comedy specials. In addition, he has starred in 10 movies, including Dogma, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and The Prince of Tides, as well as in his own sitcom. He lives in Los Angeles and Las Vegas, but spends much of the year performing to sold-out audiences across the country.

Read an Excerpt

Excerpt


THE NOONTIME NEWS


• In Rome today, Pope John Paul removed his little hat and revealed he has a small map of Tombstone, Arizona, tattooed on his head.

• Out at the lake in City Park, police have arrested a one-armed man who was bothering the other boaters by continuously rowing in a circle.

• Authorities say a severely disturbed geography teacher has shot and killed six people who did not know the capital of Scotland. He is still at large and they remind everyone the capital of Scotland is Edinburgh.

• A man at a tool and die company died today when he was hit with a tool.

• A Detroit couple is suing Campbell's soups, claiming a bowl of alphabet soup spelled out an obscene message to their children. They state that at first the little letters floated around in a circle, and then they formed the words suck my noodle.

• Millionaire clothing executive Dacron Polyester died in his sleep yesterday. It was not a peaceful death, however, as he dozed off while hang-gliding.

• A large dog exploded on a downtown street corner this morning. No one was killed; however, several people were overcome by fur. Police estimate that more than 600 fleas also lost their lives in the blast.

• A woman in Montana was severely injured yesterday when she attempted to force-breast-feed a wolverine.

• A man wearing a Have a Nice Day button was killed yesterday by a man who works at night.

• The Centers for Disease Control has determined that the common cold is caused by a tall man who carries around a bag of germs.

• Twenty-six people were killedthis morning when two funeral processions collided. Police say the list of fatalities does not include the two people who were already dead.

• The Mafia has killed an information clerk because he knew too much. His replacement, appointed today, says he has no further information.

• In San Francisco, a baby has been born wearing sunglasses and holding a small can of peas.

• A Milwaukee man has been arrested for the illegal use of food stamps. He was taken into custody while attempting to mail a bowl of chili to his sister.

• The Bureau of Indian Affairs has announced they have located another Mohican. Accordingly, all the books are being recalled and will be changed to read: The Next to the Last of the Mohicans.

• And finally, here's a Halloween prank that backfired. It seems that little thirteen-year-old Danny Obolagotz thought it would be great fun to soap the windows of all the cars on his street. He had soaped seven of them and was starting to soap the eighth, not knowing that the owner of the car, Earl Fletcher, was seated inside. Fletcher shot Danny in the head four times.


Excerpted from Napalm & Silly Putty by George Carlin. Copyright © 2001 by George Carlin. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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