New Teeth: Stories

by Simon Rich

Overview

Laugh till you cry in this new collection of stories from the award-winning “Serena Williams of humor writing” (New York Times Book Review) about raising babies and trying  not to be one.
  
Called a “comedic Godsend” by Conan O’Brien and “the Stephen King of comedy writing” by John Mulaney, Simon Rich is back with New Teeth, his funniest and most personal collection yet.
 
Two murderous pirates find a child stowaway on board and attempt to balance pillaging with co-parenting. A woman raised by wolves prepares for her parents’ annual Thanksgiving visit. An aging mutant superhero is forced to learn humility when the mayor kicks him upstairs to a desk job. And in the hard-boiled caper “The Big Nap,” a weary two-year-old detective struggles to make sense of “a world gone mad.”
 
Equal parts silly and sincere, New Teeth is an ode to growing up, growing older, and what it means to make a family.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780316536691
Publisher:	Little, Brown and Company
Publication date:	07/27/2021
Sold by:	Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format:	eBook
Sales rank:	467,760
File size:	4 MB

About the Author

Simon Rich is a frequent contributor to The New Yorker. He has written for Saturday Night Live, Pixar, and The Simpsons and is the creator of the TV shows Man Seeking Woman and Miracle Workers, which he based on his books. His other collections include Ant Farm, Spoiled Brats, and Hits and Misses, which won the 2019 Thurber Prize for American Humor. He lives in Los Angeles with his family.

Table of Contents

Learning the Ropes 1

LaserDisc 25

The Big Nap 37

Beauty and the Beast 59

Chip 69

Revolution 91

Clobbo 119

Case Study 145

Raised by Wolves 163

Screwball 177

Everyday Parenting Tips 215

Acknowledgments 225

Editorial Reviews

05/17/2021

Rich’s uneven humor collection (after Hits and Misses) features a series of clueless narrators trying to grapple with life while everyone else deals with it just fine. The author makes the most of this conceit in the amusing “Screwball,” about Babe Ruth’s lack of understanding of the world outside baseball. In “Chip,” an office robot becomes obsolete after complaints about “his” “inability to socialize.” Less successful stories include the toothless satire “Revolution,” in which the privileged 14-year-old narrator thinks his valet is “grateful for the condescension” the narrator pays him in the form of requiring his presence at all times, even while using the bathroom. Rich can wring a laugh from irony, as in “Laserdisc,” about a man who treasures his collection of films on the outdated format (“John would utter a phrase so erotic it was essentially physically irresistible: ‘You know, I actually have that on LaserDisc’ ”), but the stories tend to be one note. “Beauty and the Beast” feels like an extended commercial break for Disney, and “Case Study,” a riff on The Elephant Man, gets silly, but not in a good way. Arguably the best entry is “The Big Nap,” which is like The Big Sleep told from a two-year-old’s point of view. If only the rest of the stories had been as clever. Agent: Daniel Greenberg, Levine Greenberg Rostan Literary. (July)

Publishers Weekly

"Rich presents parody, absurdity, observational wit, the sudden shift in a familiar premise, and a surprising touch of sweetness and charm throughout... [New Teeth is] so consistently funny, so exceptional in its imaginative use of parody as to be near genius. A fertile mind provides many smiles in this entertaining collection—and more than a few out-loud laughs."—Kirkus Starred Review

"With the riotous New Teeth, Rich once again sets out to tackle a universal topic: growing up. Rich provides some hilarious insights into parenting in short stories like “Learning The Ropes,” which sees a pair of pirates co-parent an adorable little stowaway. He questions an aging man’s relevance in a story about a superhero put on desk duty, and tells a biting story of found family in “Raised By Wolves.” As he comes to terms with being a dad, Rich doesn’t lose his touch for fantastical constructs that tap into all-too-real feelings."—AV Club

“Silly. Satirical. Humorous. Absurd. Hilarious. Simon Rich's work everywhere from the New Yorker to "Saturday Night Live," inspires effusive praise in its unique depiction of life.”—Zibby Owens, GMA.com

“Brilliant and bizarre…Darkly comic and graciously earnest, New Teeth offers provocative takes on our unpredictable world.”—Alta

"The book every fun-loving reader needs after a tough year, this humorous collection of 11 stories showcases sincerity, insightfulness and self-aware laughs."—Shelf Awareness Starred Review

A triumph of sustained humor…. Rich’s humor is enhanced by his generous, hopeful heart…. Analyzing why it’s so pleasurable to read Simon Rich is about as helpful as analyzing why it’s so fun to spend the night with an unexpectedly excellent blind date. It’s better to do it than to talk about it. —Sarah Lyall, NYT Book Review

"Every new arrival from Simon Rich, a former SNL writer whose works inspired the series Man Seeking Woman and Miracle Workers, is cause for celebration. His long short stories are often high concept with premises that anyone else would make corny and cringy. He is unfailingly, unselfconsciously clever, with joy permeating his work."—Vulture

"This is Rich’s singular style: combining otherworldly plots with contemporary reference and verbiage that propel a reader forward to see what in the hell he comes up with next….The majority of Rich’s stories contain morals that are never planted too deeply for a reader to spot, making this work as instructive as it is imaginative. But it is his rich display of playfulness that lets us know that we are in the hands of a writer who has never lost the love of storytelling."—NYTBR Editors' Choice selection

There are laugh-out-loud moments in NEW TEETH, to be sure, but there are also moments of quietly witty introspection or reflection...The only question for readers is if you swallow this collection whole, or bite off bits and pieces to savor every time you need a little levity.—Book Reporter

From the Publisher

★ 2021-05-05
Many of these 11 stories from gifted humorist Rich explore the joys and trials of parenthood.

Two pirates are all at sea when they discover a stowaway little girl and must add a bit of niceness to their nastiness. A screenwriter reluctantly abandons work to be the Beast in his daughter’s obsession with the Disney-fied fairy tale, but he realizes something about the film that helps transform him into a less-beastly father. When simian superhero Clobbo learns that Empire City no longer needs him, he discovers a new role entertaining his granddaughter with bubble wrap on a Facetime call. A young woman raised by wolves returns to human society at 18 and has a normal life, only interacting with the wolves when they visit for Thanksgiving, and eventually she learns to accept their differences. A story about a medieval king’s not very bright son hiding among peasants during a revolution was adapted for Rich’s TV series, “Miracle Workers.” In his sixth collection of stories, and eighth work of fiction since 2007, Rich presents parody, absurdity, observational wit, the sudden shift in a familiar premise, and a surprising touch of sweetness and charm throughout. Fans won’t find anything quite like Rich’s earlier “Unprotected,” with the point of view of an unused condom in a young man’s wallet, or the macabre twist in “The Tribal Rite of the Strombergs,” when a Scrabble game ends in ritual human sacrifice. A couple of pieces are even a bit clunky. But there is much to smile at here, and “The Big Nap” (nodding to Chandler), which uses noir style for a toddler detective on the trail of his baby sister’s lost unicorn, Moomoo, is so consistently funny, so exceptional in its imaginative use of parody as to be near genius.

A fertile mind provides many smiles in this entertaining collection—and more than a few out-loud laughs.

Kirkus Reviews