On Friendship

by Alexander Nehamas

Overview

An eminent philosopher reflects on the nature of friendship, past and present

Friends are a constant feature of our lives, yet friendship itself is difficult to define. Even Michel de Montaigne, author of the seminal essay "Of Friendship," found it nearly impossible to account for the great friendship of his life. Why is something so commonplace and universal so hard to grasp? What is it about the nature of friendship that proves so elusive?

In On Friendship, the acclaimed philosopher Alexander Nehamas launches an original and far-ranging investigation of friendship. Exploring the long history of philosophical thinking on the subject, from Aristotle to Emerson and beyond, and drawing on examples from literature, art, drama, and his own life, Nehamas shows that for centuries, friendship was as much a public relationship as it was a private one-inseparable from politics and commerce, favors and perks. Now that it is more firmly in the private realm, Nehamas holds, close friendship is central to the good life.

Profound and affecting, On Friendship sheds light on why we love our friends-and how they determine who we are, and who we might become.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780465082926
Publisher:	Basic Books
Publication date:	05/03/2016
Pages:	304
Sales rank:	516,015
Product dimensions:	5.80(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.40(d)

About the Author

Alexander Nehamas is a professor of philosophy at Princeton University and a fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. The author of books on art, literature, and authenticity, among other subjects, he lives in Princeton, New Jersey.

Table of Contents

Part One
1. "A Friend Is Another Self": Aristotelian Foundations
2. "A Sort of Secession": The Emergence of Modern Friendship
3. A Structure of the Soul" Friendship and the Arts

Part Two
4. "And So On": Why Do We Love Our Friends?
5. "No Sense of Humor": A Friendship Breaks Down
6. The Good of Friendship

Editorial Reviews

"Alexander Nehamas, known for his distinguished and very readable books that make philosophy accessible to a broad audience, has written a far-ranging, meticulously researched yet warmly personal account of the mysterious phenomenon known as friendship. His prose is luminous, intimate and erudite. Highly recommended!"—Joyce Carol Oates

"With the social media 'friending' mind-set so prevalent in today's society, Nehamas's treatise of the subject is timely and significant. Accessible philosophical writing for general readers who want to understand better an essential feature of our lives."—Library Journal

"For those wanting to see how the concept of friendship in Western civilization has evolved since Aristotle, this study offers a useful, if idiosyncratic survey."—Kirkus Reviews

"On Friendship accomplishes the remarkable; Nehamas punctures standard pieties with clear-eyed realism about the risks of loss or corruption through our friendships, while saving every bit of our unshakeable sense that our friends remain immeasurably valuable, and of central importance in our lives. This deeply insightful book—the fruit of a lifetime's reflection—should be read not only by those who care about friendship in general, but by all of us who care about our friends."—Lanier Anderson, professor of philosophy at Stanford University

"Beautiful and wise, On Friendship will deepen your understanding of the friendships through which you live. Can a work of philosophy be a page-turner? This one is hard to put down. Here Montaigne triumphs over Aristotle, while theater emerges as the art that best illuminates friendship—which, as Nehamas shows us, is best appreciated as a work of art is appreciated, for what it is for us, individually and irreplaceably."—Paul Woodruff, professor of philosophy and classics at the University of Texas at Austin

From the Publisher

05/01/2016
In this examination of friendship, Nehamas (Edmund N. Carpenter II Class of 1943 Professor in the Humanities, Princeton Univ.; Only a Promise of Happiness) looks at why companionship is so important in shaping and directing our lives. He begins with Aristotle to consider the qualities of such bonds. While the link between friendship and virtue played a central role in Aristotle's view, Nehamas explains how this evolved into our modern perspective, in which virtue might play a part, but moral aspects of the principle aren't necessary. He further examines historical aspects of friendship presented in paintings and literature and concludes by depicting the value of relationships, and how friends help guide our perceptions of them and also of our own "self-formation." With the social media "friending" mind-set so prevalent in today's society, Nehamas's treatise of the subject is timely and significant. VERDICT Accessible philosophical writing for general readers who want to understand better an essential feature of our lives.—Scott Duimstra, Capital Area Dist. Lib., Lansing, MI

Library Journal

2016-02-28
This conceptual exploration of friendship sees both the good and the bad. Nehamas (Humanities/Princeton Univ.; Only a Promise of Happiness: The Place of Beauty in a World of Art, 2007, etc.) explains that his study had its genesis in a graduate seminar he taught and a series of lectures he gave, which suggests why pedagogy, arts criticism, and philosophy overshadow anyone's personal experience in the development of his argument. The author keeps returning to two illustrative relationships of his: one with a close friend who changed a tire for him and one with his barber. Yet closest scrutiny is reserved for analyses of novels, plays, and movies (Thelma and Louise, in particular), in which whatever they have to say about friendship may or may not be a reflection of any real relationships. "Friendship, I will argue, has a double face," writes the author early on. Though he does later show how friendship can lead to favoritism or even immoral acts (Thelma and Louise, again), as one favors the friend rather than the ideal, some of his examples are more political friendships of convenience than bonds of true friendship. Perhaps the most compelling argument he makes is that having such a close relationship with a few undermines the ideal of Christian love and charity for all, equally. Otherwise, most of the downsides of friendship, the "complexities and ambiguities" on which Nehamas says he focuses during the book's second half, have more to do with loss when the friendship ends—"the dull aches of abandonment, the sharp stabs of betrayal, the agonizing dilemmas of loyalty." The author illustrates most of these with friendships as portrayed through the various arts. For those wanting to see how the concept of friendship in Western civilization has evolved since Aristotle, this study offers a useful, if idiosyncratic survey.

Kirkus Reviews