Own Your Life: Living with Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Love
272
Own Your Life: Living with Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Love
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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781414391281 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Tyndale House Publishers |
| Publication date: | 01/06/2015 |
| Pages: | 272 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.50(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.90(d) |
About the Author
Sally Clarkson cofounded and has served as the women's ministry director of Whole Heart Ministries with her husband, Clay, since 1994. As a conference speaker, author of eleven popular books, and ministry leader, she has helped countless Christian parents build life-giving homes and raise wholehearted children for Christ.
Read an Excerpt
Own Your Life
Living with Deep Intention, Bold Faith, and Generous Love
By Sally Clarkson
Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Copyright © 2014 Sally ClarksonAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4143-9128-1
CHAPTER 1
SEEING BEAUTY AND PURPOSE IN YOUR ORDINARY DAYS
Owning the Hero Who Lives inside You
What distinguishes men of genuine achievement from the rest of us is not so much their intellectual powers and aptitudes as their curiosity, their energy, their fullest use of their potentialities. Nobody really knows how smart or talented he is until he finds the incentives to use himself to the fullest. God has given us more than we know what to do with. SYDNEY J. HARRIS
The people who know their God will display strength and take action.
DANIEL 11:32
Standing to my full height, I pranced down the imaginary platform in my den, acting out the time when I would be crowned Miss America. As with many girls born in the 1950s, watching this contest on television had become a yearly ritual. Even as a little girl posing as a beauty queen, I knew in my heart I was born to become someone significant.
Reading books about heroes of history further fed these dreams. Whether Florence Nightingale, braving the filthy trenches of war to save lives, or Madame Curie, who helped pave the way for new cancer treatments, I was right there with them in the story, visualizing how I would help save my world in some small way.
Fast-forward a couple of decades, when I found myself squishing next to my seven-year-old son on a couch, munching chocolate chip cookies and sharing a "little boy" moment.
"Mama, you know what? I think Superman was just like Jesus. He came from a far-off place to save his world. I think I am going to be Superman when I grow up because I am going to do something to save my world."
Sitting up straighter with his chest puffed out, Nathan said, "You know what? Superman is inside me just waiting to come out!"
Perhaps all children anticipate how they might fulfill some great destiny in their lifetimes. I believe there is also a heroine in each of our hearts waiting to come out. Yet somewhere along the pathway of our lives, we lose our innocence, forget our dreams, and succumb to a life filled with monotony and responsibility. I remember pondering this very thought when I was a young wife and mother feeling "stuck" at a particular moment. I wondered how I had gotten there, since I had always hoped to do something of significance.
As a young adult, mission work had taken me to many exciting cities. I had moved to Communist countries throughout Eastern Europe, meeting secretly with people to teach them the truths of the Bible and to train them to share faith in their own countries.
As a single missionary, I lived in Vienna, Krakow, and Warsaw. After Clay and I married, we moved to Vienna and then worked in Long Beach, Denver, and Nashville. Being a part of so many urban communities gave me a taste for city life. Having friends from many backgrounds and cultures brought me great pleasure and stimulation. A charming coffee shop was always just a fifteen-minute walk or drive away. We regularly dined at cafés and restaurants with international cuisine, but our lives were about to drastically change.
When our children were young, Clay and I began dreaming of starting a publishing company and family ministry. To fulfill that vision, we moved with our three oldest children, who were eleven, eight, and six, from Nashville to my mother-in-law's house. Our new home was located in a tiny town of 712 people, forty-five minutes away from the nearest grocery store with fresh food or a loaf of whole grain bread.
Life in this tiny old town left me feeling disoriented and frustrated. The temperature surpassed one hundred degrees almost every day, and chiggers—those tiny bugs—chewed on my children and me every time we went outdoors, leaving countless itching bumps. The only place to shop was a little convenience store two miles away in town (and it smelled like grease from all the fried chicken sold there). We had no babysitters, no friends, not even a church or library—and the graduating class at the local school was seven in a good year. There was no coffee shop or café—and we didn't have money to afford eating out anyway. Paying for groceries, clothing, and doctors' bills devoured our small income. Goodwill and secondhand stores were my only shopping options, and then only if we had a few dollars left at the end of the month and could make the long drive to a bigger town.
My mother-in-law's house was laid out in such a way that our kids could make a circular path through it—starting in the living room, going through our bedroom, then continuing through the hallway to the kitchen, and finally reaching the living room again. Round and round they would run! One day, not long before I had my fourth child, I was sitting on the floor of our bedroom in front of a small couch. I guess I was hidden from the children's view because when they ran their standard route, they came in one door and went out the other while calling, "Mama, Mama, where are you?"
When I realized they couldn't see me, but only the back of the couch, I did not answer. There I was, an adult in my early forties, hiding behind the couch and hoping my children would not find me. As I sat on the floor, I was Eeyore living under clouds of "Woe is me."
My mind scanned the past year and came up with a number of disturbing memories: my two miscarriages (one in which I had almost died); the packed boxes and messes all around us; our regular encounters with spiders or snakes; a mother-in-law who hovered and followed me around the house as I worked and cooked; three kids who would not go outside and play in the scorching heat; and the squishy squash bugs on our outside plants in what was supposed to be my country garden. On top of that, I had no nearby friends or support systems and, did I mention, no strong cup of coffee?
More thoughts came: My family wanted to eat so often, and they made so many messes every day. This was not at all how I'd envisioned my life. I considered myself a professional, adult sort of person, not a pregnant forty-two-year-old mama with secondhand clothes who was throwing up and sweating through life with children and messes all around me.
In that moment, my life was a pile of puzzle pieces, all mixed up with no seeming pattern or logical way to fit them together. And a heroine was not to be found in the picture. As I scrutinized the landscape of my soul, I saw endless darkness down a gloomy hallway that seemed to end in despair. Nothing in my life seemed to be matching up with my ideals; I was physically, spiritually, and emotionally drained, and everyone and everything depended on my keeping it all together. This place was as far from an adventure requiring heroism as I could imagine.
Add to that, a number of critics waited in line to freely voice their opinions to Clay and me.
"Have you lost your mind, moving to such a tiny town? Are you sure this is where you are supposed to be?"
"Ninety-five percent of all new businesses fail the first year, and they end up bankrupt!"
"What experience do you have in publishing? I thought the real publishers already rejected your book ideas—what makes you think you can publish them yourselves and find anyone who wants to hear what you have to say?"
Then there were the warnings from family—"You know, someday you are going to have to get a job that pays real money. You can't just fiddle around your whole life. You need to think of your children and how you are raising them!"
And "After three miscarriages—one you almost died from—you are pregnant again? You are tempting fate. If something more serious happens, it will be your own fault."
"I think it is fine if you homeschool your children when they are young because you can't mess them up too badly. But what about when they're older? What will you do then about your children's education when the nearest big school is in another county, miles and miles away? And have you considered that they won't get the socialization they need?"
It was while juggling these pressures on our marriage, finances, spiritual life, family life, and ideals that I felt breathless with fear and insecurity as I hid behind that couch. It was then that I had a big "come to Jesus meeting."
Tears flowed down my face uncontrollably. Miraculously, no one found me.
"God," I whispered, "I have served you faithfully for many years. What am I doing here? Life is so hard. This place doesn't suit my personality. And my mother-in-law is no Naomi. Does it really matter that I have served you as best I know how all of these years? How can any good come out of these circumstances? I don't think I can make it here. Please take me out of this situation."
Escape. That was my first line of defense when I was in this very rough place. Where could I go to get away from these problems?
Looking back, I realize my response was pretty typical. We live in a culture of runaways—rushing to another marriage, job, house, Internet thrill, vacation, drug, whatever. Yet when we run away all the time, our "demons"— the problems, difficult relationships, scars, fears, insecurity, selfishness—seem to follow us. Ironically, the very difficulties we want to escape can be overcome only when we face them head-on. Otherwise, they have a way of following us wherever we go. Not only that, but running away from them keeps us from growing stronger and eventually becoming heroes in our own stories.
After I said my brief prayer and spilled all my tears, quietness came. The sun was setting outside and cast soft shadows in our room. Finally, the kids had gone outside to play with the dogs.
The comfort of God's Spirit gently began to blow through me, as I was finally ready to open my heart in humility and prayer. A little song my children had been listening to pressed upon my mind: "This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."
This day, this place, these circumstances—God had made them!
The Lord seemed to speak to me from all the devotions I had been having with my little ones, and a verse came to my mind: "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness" (Hebrews 12:11).
The words that captured my attention were "those who have been trained by it." Training is something that is repeated again and again over a long period of time, in order to build strength and endurance. God wanted to train me in holiness right where I was, in these circumstances.
Then I felt Him impress the following on my heart: Sally, this is the place I want you to worship Me. Being faithful in these circumstances is where you will find the glory of My favor. This is exactly where I want you. This time of testing will be the making of your faith, the humbling of your heart, the shaping of your character, the writing of your story. You can choose to waste this time with a bad attitude, to leave this situation, or to waste your days in ungratefulness and complaints. And then your life will continue moving through darkness and dim hallways.
You have a choice to make: If you trust Me and live faithfully in this juncture, I will make this a place of favor and honor for you. But if you look for a way out and disqualify yourself from the blessings and favor I had planned to give you, you will find yourself in the midst of a prolonged wilderness.
And so the itchy, green shag carpet behind the tiny, worn loveseat that hid me from view became an altar of worship for me. Lord, I will choose to find light in this darkness. I have no guarantee about how any of this will turn out, but I am planting a flag of faith. No matter what happens, I will be as obedient as I can to bring joy into this place, to create beauty in this wilderness, to exercise generous love, and to persevere with patience. I will choose to believe that wherever You are my faithful companion is the place where Your blessing will be upon me.
Peace clothed me like an embrace from God. I had been tested and had come through with grace. This was only one of many dark and difficult junctures on my life pathway, and yet I was now learning to ask at each turn in the road, "What is the lesson here, God? What wisdom can I learn? How can I bring grace, beauty, and order to each day, and live as though it is a place of worship?"
Later that evening, I committed my thoughts to my journal, writing down life goals that would help determine the kind of woman I would become in the years ahead. I resolved:
to be a joyful person
to practice being thankful
to see God's fingerprints each day of my life, as I knew my
children probably longed to have a happy mother
to live every day by faith, choosing to believe that God was real,
that He listened to prayer, and that He would provide the
grace to get through every trial
to love, as much as possible, all of those who came into my life
Finally, I committed to work hard and to grow in strength, as I was beginning to understand that living up to these ideals would require a lifetime of working, cooking, cleaning, writing, living, teaching, and speaking.
Reflecting on Sixty Years of Walking with God
Hindsight does indeed bring great insight. Though there are some images I'd still rather forget from that time—such as the scorpion that fell from the ceiling and stung me on the thigh when I was 91/2 months pregnant (and even then the baby would not come!). And yet it was in that remote house in a tiny town that my children learned to love the country, living wild and free in the place I first thought cursed. The time with fewer friends, distractions, and lessons, though often lonely, drew our family circle closer together than ever would have happened if we had been in a large city with limitless choices.
My marriage grew stronger because I was forced to be less selfish and to believe in the dreams of my husband. My compassion for those who were lonely, who lived on little income, and who were forced to overcome seemingly impossible circumstances grew out of the humility that developed as I waited on God in faith. My ministry messages grew out of my life experiences.
These were the memories I pondered as I sipped the warm cup of tea my daughter Joy brought me on the morning of my sixtieth birthday. Her instructions as she met me coming down the stairs from my bedroom had been, "Mom, we have a whole day of celebration prepared for you. But I want to give you a few minutes alone first while we finish cooking breakfast so you can ponder all those sixty years. That way we can hear the stories and celebrate all the meaningful days with you today!"
And so I did take some time to sift through my memories. As I wrote in the introduction, I had been challenged early in life to live every day as though it were my last. Now I asked myself, Have I lived into the spiritual reality of the God who brought me to Himself? Have I written a story of faith and faithfulness that will speak inspiration to generations to come?
As I reflected on the years, the first inklings of the thoughts that led me to write this book developed. I realized that God had been faithful and that I had lived a life sprinkled with His favor, miracles, and blessing. I wanted to share, from a perspective of deep gratefulness and gathered wisdom, some of the spiritual secrets I had learned about how to live a flourishing life.
I also had come to understand and appreciate the ways God had taught me. Many of the years I spent serving Him with my whole heart had been invisible to the public. I had not lived a perfect life. At times, I resisted the very pressures that God wanted to use to train me to become strong. But I could see that when I yielded to His ways and lived with His hand holding mine, my life story had become more than I could ever have imagined.
I know now that heroes come with a variety of stories. A radical life for Christ is not always visible to outside eyes. Even Jesus lived in a tiny town, never venturing more than fifty miles from His home during His ministry. Though He did not work with great world leaders and was obscure in His commonness, Christ's love and service literally changed the history of the world. So many of my own years had been poured into the mundane moments of life, yet I sought to make each one a celebration of His reality.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson. Copyright © 2014 Sally Clarkson. Excerpted by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Foreword xi
The Beginning: What Will Be the Legacy of Your Life? xv
Part 1 Barriers to Owning Your Life: Don't Settle for a Mediocre Life
Chapter 1 Seeing Beauty and Purpose in Your Ordinary Days 3
Owning the Hero Who Lives inside Yon
Chapter 2 Controlling the Chaos 15
Owning Your Priorities and Commitments
Chapter 3 Listening to New Voices 27
Owning Your True Identity
Part 2 Owning Your Vision: Mapping Your Life Purpose
Chapter 4 Living with the End in Mind 41
Owning Your Life Vision
Chapter 5 Looking to God as Your Life Coach 55
Owning God's Training
Part 3 Owning Your Life by Giving God Control: What Only He Can Do
Chapter 6 Resting in the Transcendence of God 69
Owning the Mystery of His Supremacy
Chapter 7 Allowing God's Spirit to Breathe in You 83
Owning the Holy Spirit's Strength through Your Life
Part 4 Owning Your Life by Partnering with God: Attitudes and Actions That Transform
Chapter 8 Cultivating the Practices That Deepen Your Faith 97
Owning the Spiritual Disciplines
Chapter 9 Learning to Take Risks 113
Owning Your Faith
Chapter 10 Tending Your Heart and Investing in Your Soul 129
Owning Your Emotional Health
Chapter 11 Choosing to Overcome: Moving beyond Hurt 143
Owning Your Response to Others
Chapter 12 Harvesting a Godly Character 161
Owning Your Integrity
Part 5 Owning Your Life by Loving Well: Create a Lasting Legacy
Chapter 13 Pursuing Life's Most Defining Commitment 177
Owning Your Choice to Love
Chapter 14 Cultivating a Sense of Place 189
Owning the Atmosphere of Your Home
Chapter 15 Building a Legacy over a Lifetime 203
Owning Your Marriage
Chapter 16 Shaping Generations to Come 221
Owning Your Motherhood
Chapter 17 Living Intentionally to Leave a Legacy of Faith 235
Owning the Influence Your Life Can Make
Acknowledgments 243
Notes 245
About the Author 247