Table of Contents
Introduction 1
Chapter 1 The Basics 13
Break the Code 14
Take Time for Training 26
Kind and Firm 35
Connection Before Correction 42
Encouragement 47
Winning Cooperation 56
Chapter 2 Parental Guidance 61
Family Meetings 62
Validate Feelings 71
Decide What You Will Do 78
Follow Through 86
Letting Go 93
Chapter 3 Making Mistakes 101
Understand the Brain 102
Positive Time-Out 108
Mistakes Are Wonderful Opportunities to Learn 115
3 R's of Recovery from Mistakes 123
Chapter 4 How to Connect 129
Special Time 130
Show Faith 136
Compliments 144
Closet Listening 148
Chapter 5 Solving Problems 153
Problem Solving 154
Follow Through After Agreements 162
Ask for Help 169
Focus on Solutions 174
Wheel of Choice 179
Curiosity Questions (Motivational) 184
Avoid Pampering 192
Chapter 6 Working Through It 199
Hugs 200
Eye to Eye 206
Small Steps 211
Encouragement Versus Praise 216
Curiosity Questions (Conversational) 222
Limited Choices 229
Chapter 7 Practical Skills 235
Allowances 236
Jobs 243
Limit Screen Time 248
Routines 258
Chapter 8 Less Is More 269
Listen 270
Pay Attention 275
Act Without Words 281
Silent Signals 287
One Word 291
Chapter 9 Consequences 297
Logical Consequences 298
Natural Consequences 305
Put Kids in the Same Boat 315
Chapter 10 Model Behavior 319
Control Your Own Behavior 320
Tone of Voice 326
Don't Back-Talk Back 331
Sense of Humor 337
Empower Your Kids 342
Acknowledgments 351
Contributors 355
References 357
Index 359