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Introduction
The ability to conduct yourself harmoniously and productively with your employees, colleagues, and bosses is a critical skill to master. However, when you enter the working world, no one equips you with this skillset, particularly as it applies to dealing with people who are difficult. When different personality types are expected to work side by side every day and get along with each other, it can be challenging. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose those with whom you work and, when you spend most of your waking hours with people who aren't of your choosing, getting along may prove to be demanding.
Yet, your ability to maintain strong work relationships is so important; it may, in fact, be vital to your success. Often, an employee who is capable of interacting well with others will be promoted over an employee who possesses greater job or technical knowledge. The ability to relate successfully to others doesn't necessarily mean being agreeable all the time, because we know that problems are going to arise. Rather, it's having the skills to effectively deal with those problems that will set you apart as an employee who values the importance of resolving conflict to maintain strong relationships.
Conflict is one of the most difficult situations we face because it thrusts us out of our comfort zone. The truth is that most of us are uncomfortable handling conflict of any kind, so we overlook problems and hope they'll go away. But that never happens. Unless you work to resolve conflict in an effective manner, one of two things is going to occur: Your working relationship with that person will be permanently damaged, or you'll bottle up your emotions and continue trying to ignore the problem. A damaged working relationship will never rectify itself; instead, the relationship will continue to fracture and may eventually sever completely. Further, when you bottle up your emotions, they slowly simmer until one day they begin to boil, which may cause you to lose control in an eruption of words you'll later regret.
A more effective way exists to handle conflict at work. Entering into a constructive conversation to resolve any problem as it occurs is the only way to demonstrate your ability to interact well with others all the time . . . and increase your odds for success.
In Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People, you'll find the tools that will enable you to develop the skills to handle any type of conflict with any person. You'll learn how to gain the cooperation of coworkers who are know-it-alls, meeting monopolizers, and people who send excessive emails. You'll learn how to communicate effectively with a boss who may be abusive, egotistical, microman-aging, or noncommunicative. And, when you cause a problem, you'll learn how to quickly recover, regroup, and work to successfully resolve the issue and reconcile the relationship.
In this book, you'll learn how to use over 325 powerful phrases to communicate effectively, as well as powerful actions to take in support of those phrases. You'll become familiar with the five-step process to resolve conflict of any kind. In addition, you'll develop the ability to work through problems with 30 types of difficult behaviors and personalities. And, throughout the book, you'll find "Something to Think About" tips, which detail how to handle unusual or difficult situations. The powerful words and phrases will be noted in italics and the type of phrase or word in bold.
Part 1, "Powerful Phrases + Actions = Successful Work Rela-tionships," explains the phrases and nonverbal techniques that form the basis of communicating effectively to resolve conflict. You'll learn when to incorporate "I" phrases to communicate how the problem affected you, along with words and phrases of understanding, apology, compromise, resolution, and reconciliation. You'll ascer-tain the body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and as-sertiveness actions that will enhance your conversation.
Both chapters in Part 1 include Resolving Conflict: The Wrong Way/Why This Doesn't Work and Resolving Conflict: The Right Way/Why This Works sample dialogues to reinforce how the phrases and actions you're learning will be advantageous when handling any type of disagreement you encounter. Both chapters also include a summary of sample phrases and nonverbal tech-niques, which will be beneficial for quick reference.
Part 2, "Effective Conflict Resolution = Strengthened Work Relationships," builds on the powerful words and phrases and non-verbal techniques in Part 1 to show you when and how to incorporate them into your conflict resolution conversations. In Chapter 3, you'll learn the five-step technique to resolve any conflict. Included in this chapter are Resolving Conflict: The Wrong Way/ Why This Doesn't Work and Resolving Conflict: The Right Way/Why This Works sample dialogues, as well as a summary of the key points for each of the steps.
Chapters 4 and 5 describe 20 challenging coworker behaviors and 10 challenging personality types of bosses. You'll discover how to use the five-step process to confront conflict and effectively resolve problems. Sample Resolving Conflict: The Right Way/Why This Works dialogues take you through each step of the process. These chapters also include "Applying the Approach," a quick reference of helpful tips for dealing with each of the behaviors and personality types.
In Chapter 6, you'll learn how to handle situations in which you caused a problem. When you realize you've said or done something inappropriate, offensive, or unkind, you'll be prepared to take the initiative and incorporate powerful phrases and words in conversations to repair and reconcile the relationship. And, when someone approaches you about a problem you didn't realize you caused, you'll learn how to quickly recover and work through the five-steps to resolve the conflict, no matter whether the person approaches you in a constructive manner or confronts you in a spiteful or hurtful manner.
Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People will be your guide when you encounter problems with your employees, col-leagues, or bosses. You'll be able to specifically identify the be-haviors and personality types that are problematic for you. You'll build your confidence to handle any type of conflict with any per-son, whether you have a problem with someone or another person has a problem with you. It's the book that will provide you with the skills to enter into a productive dialogue and resolve any problem quickly.
Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People will enhance your communication skills, improve your leadership skills, and in-crease your assertiveness skills. When you develop these skills, you'll be seen as a person who connects successfully with others. And that is going to strengthen all of your work relationships.
