Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends

by Bruce Fisher, Robert Alberti, Virginia Satir (Foreword by)

Overview

“How does he know exactly what I’m feeling?” That’s the most-heard reader comment about this one million copy bestseller by internationally-renowned divorce therapist Bruce Fisher. Rebuilding features Fisher’s “divorce process rebuilding blocks,” a proven nineteen-step process for putting one’s life back together after divorce. Clearly the most widely-used approach to divorce recovery, the “rebuilding” model makes the process healthier and less traumatic for those who are divorcing or divorced—and their children. Over two decades of research and practice are combined with feedback from hundreds of thousands of men and women who have used the book on their own or in one of thousands of Fisher divorce recovery seminars worldwide. Also includes Bruce’s detailed Healing Separation model—first of its kind to offer couples a healing alternative to the usual slide from separation to divorce. The 3rd edition, revised with the assistance of psychologist and marriage and family therapist Dr. Robert Alberti, continues Bruce’s tradition of straight-to-the-heart response to the needs of his clients and readers. Just the right balance of shoulder-to-cry-on and kick-in-the-pants self-help!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781886230699
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	11/01/1999
Series:	Rebuilding Books; for Divorce and Beyond Series
Edition description:	Third Edition
Pages:	304
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Bruce Fisher, EdD (1931-1998) developed the “rebuilding” model of divorce recovery nearly 35 years ago. Founder and director of the Family Relations Learning Center (Boulder, Colorado), he personally trained thousands of individuals and therapists in this approach, enriching the lives of hundreds of thousands worldwide. Popular divorce therapist, author, teacher, clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Robert E. Alberti, PhD, is a psychologist, marriage & family therapist, Fellow (Psychotherapy) of the American Psychological Association, clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, publisher, and author/co-author of several books. His work has received international recognition as the "gold standard" for psychological self-help.

Table of Contents

	Foreword	ix
	Introduction to the Third Edition	1
1.	The Rebuilding Blocks	4
2.	Denial "I Can't Believe This is Happening to Me"	30
3.	Fear "I Have Lots of It"	42
4.	Adaptation "But It Worked When I Was A Kid!"	52
5.	Loneliness "I've Never Felt So Alone"	66
6.	Friendship "Where Has Everybody Gone?"	72
7.	Guilt/Rejection Dumpers 1, Dumpees 0	82
8.	Grief "There's This Terrible Feeling of Loss"	96
9.	Anger "Damn the S.O.B.!"	110
10.	Letting Go Disentangling is Hard to Do	128
11.	Self-Worth "Maybe I'm Not So Bad After All!"	136
12.	Transition "I'm Waking Up and Putting Away my Leftovers"	148
13.	Openness "I've Been I liding Behind a Mask"	166
14.	Love "Could Somebody Really Care for Me?"	176
15.	Trust "My Love-Wound is Beginning to Heal"	188
16.	Relatedness "Growing Relationships Help Me Rebuild"	200
17.	Sexuality "I'm Interested, but I'm Scared"	216
18.	Singleness "You Mean It's Okay?"	234
19.	Purpose "I Have Goals for the Future Now"	242
20.	Freedom From Chrysalis to Butterfly	250
Appendix A	Kids Are Tougher Than You Think The Rebuilding Blocks Process for Children	259
Appendix B	The Healing Separation An Alternative to Divorce	265
Appendix C	Healing Separation Agreement Form	275
	Bibliography	281
	Index	287

Interviews

Alberti resides in Atascadero, CA.

Editorial Reviews

“One of the best books written for the divorcing person... warm, engaging.”
—the Behavior Therapist

”...deals with the everyday feelings and problems of the divorcing and divorced... hits just the right balance between seriousness and optimism.”
—Florence Kaslow, PhD, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy

“...a handbook for the divorcing and divorced that is authentic and which they can employ in the rebuilding of their own lives.”
—Esther Oshiver Fisher, JD, Journal of Divorce

“...warm, simple, and direct... this is a book you will not want to put down.”
—A.R.E. Press

“I found the book comforting, helpful and realistic—it is going to hurt, and it will not be easy, but you can do it.”
—Marilyn Anita Dalrymple, Affaire de Coeur

“If you're putting your life back together after a divorce, you need this book! It could be just what you're looking for to help you get your life back on track. I found it to be very interesting and informative.”
—Jeanette Wright, Borger News-Herald, Borger, Texas

“Shows you how to move from denial to freedom and even another love.”
—Jann Mitchell, The Sunday Oregonian

“...exactly what you need to help put your life back together during and after a divorce.”
—Divorce Magazine

“I have read it four times and highlighted it in four different colors. I get something very different out of it each time...I have given it to many others...It is so right on about the recovery process that it is amazing.”
—Joy (online review)

“It made me realize I was not the only person who felt and acted in a certain way when my marriage ended. We all have the same reactions and emotions. The steps to rebuilding your life make sense and should be followed.”
—Linda (online review)

From the Publisher

...deals with the everyday feelings and problems of the divorcing and divorced... hits just the right balance between seriousness and optimism.
— Journal of Marital and Family Therapy

Florence R. Kaslow

If you're putting your life back together after a divorce, you need this book! It could be just what you're looking for to help you get your life back on track. I found it to be very interesting and informative.
—Borger News-Herald, Borger, Texas

Jeanette Wright

One of the best books written for the divorcing person... warm, engaging.

Behavior Therapist

...a handbook for the divorcing and divorced that is authentic and which they can employ in the rebuilding of their own lives.
—Journal of Divorce

Esther Oshiver Fisher

...warm, simple, and direct... this is a book you will not want to put down.

A.R.E. Press

I found the book comforting, helpful and realistic -- it is going to hurt, and it will not be easy, but you can do it.
—Affaire de Coeur

Marilyn Anita Dalrymple