Table of Contents
Preface xi
Introduction: Betrayal Is Universal
The Betrayal Continuum 2
The Impact of Betrayal 4
Betrayal: A Gift and a Teacher 6
The Three Vantage Points 8
The Seven Steps for Healing 9
Step 1 Observe and Acknowledge What Happened 15
When You Have Been Betrayed 17
When You Have Betrayed Others 22
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 27
Step 2 Allow Feelings to Surface 31
Ways to Surface Your Feelings 34
When You Have Been Betrayed 39
When You Have Betrayed Others 41
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 43
Step3 Get and Give Support 47
Ways to Get Support 49
When You Have Been Betrayed 54
When You Have Betrayed Others 56
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 58
Step 4 Reframe the Experience
See the Bigger Picture 64
Focus on Choices and Opportunities 69
Identify the Lessons 69
When You Have Been Betrayed 73
When You Have Betrayed Others 75
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 77
Step 5 Take Responsibility 81
Determine What Part You Own 82
Take Action 83
Realize What You Gain 84
When You Have Been Betrayed 86
When You Have Been Betrayed others 90
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 95
Step 6 Forgive Yourself and Others 99
Forgive Yourself 101
Forgive Others 103
When You Have Been Betrayed 104
When You Have Been Betrayed Others 111
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 113
Step 7 Let Go And Move On 115
Accept What Is So 116
How You Know When You Are Ready to Move On 119
Moving On Is Choosing to Act Differently 121
Integrate and Celebrate 123
When You Have Been Betrayed 124
When You Have Been Betrayed Others 127
When You Want to Help others Rebuild Trust 129
Conclusion: Renewing Confidence, Commitment, and Energy 131
The Healing Journey 131
The Outcome: Confidence, Commitment, and Energy 139
Transforming Others' Lives: Helping Rebuild Trust 146
Notes 149
Acknowledgements 151
Index 155
About the Authors 161
Working with the Authors 163
Trust Building® Resources 165
