Ruby Ann's Down Home Trailer Park Cookbook

by Ruby Ann Boxcar

Overview

"Food," says Ruby Ann Boxcar, "is one thing all trailer park people have in common, followed by their undyin' love of Elvis and the reproduction of ugly children." The recipes of trailer dwellers are unlike any others. Its been known to make men turn championship wrestling off, large women in double knit polyester slacks dance, and derelict children smile. That's why Ruby Ann has taken the time to write down her favorite recipes in an easy to read cookbook (The Down Home Trailer Park Cookbook; A Twister Of Tasty Treats).

This cookbook gives the reader a titillating guide to handed down recipes and an insider's look at Ruby Ann's fellow residents at the 20 lot "High Chaparral Trailer Park" in Pangburn, Arkansas. Along with good food and gossip, the reader will come face to face with sex, murder, topless dancing, Baptist ministers, adultery, and political secrets. The fact that Ruby Ann Boxcar has lived her entire life in a trailer, and her updo hairstyle, cat eyed glasses, and blue eye shadow insures the reader she knows what she's talking about when it comes to trailer park living. Her 300-pound figure speaks for itself on the question of her cooking credentials.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780806537924
Publisher:	Kensington
Publication date:	03/20/2015
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	240
File size:	733 KB

Table of Contents

	Foreword	ix
	Introduction	xi
Chapter 1	A Trailer Fit For A Queen	3
Chapter 2	The High Chaparral Trailer Park's "Who's Who" And Where The Heck They Live	7
Chapter 3	The Residents Of The High Chaparral Trailer Park Lot By Lot	11
Chapter 4	Appetizers	33
Chapter 5	Beverages	49
Chapter 6	Breads	59
Chapter 7	Cakes	75
Chapter 8	Candy	113
Chapter 9	Cookies	125
Chapter 10	Desserts	141
Chapter 11	Helpful Hints	153
Chapter 12	Low Fat	167
Chapter 13	Main Dishes	171
Chapter 14	Pies	193
	Index	217

Recipe

DONNA SUE'S RED HOT MOMMA

It's amazin' what kind of nasty treats a hungry drunk can come up with.

1 box cherry Jell-O
2/3 cup Red Hots
1 cup boilin' water
1 can applesauce

Dissolve Red Hots in the boilin' water. Reheat the water if needed to dissolve the Jell-O. Allow the Jell-o to cool then add the applesauce. Chill in the fridge. -- Donna Sue Boxcar Lot #6

RUBY ANN BOXCAR'S FANTASTICALLY FLAWLESS FANTASY FUDGE

Please don't send me letters tellin' me how good this fudge is, 'cause I already know. Heck, just look at me!

8-oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips
2/3 cups sweetened condensed milk (recipe [for homemade condensed milk] is in the COOKIE section)
1 teaspoon imitation vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup nuts, chopped

Heat milk and chips in a pot on low heat until the chips are melted. Stir constantly. Remove from the heat and stir in the imitation vanilla extract and salt. Stir in the nuts and spread in a greased pan. Chill for 30 minutes or until firm. -- Ruby Ann Boxcar Lot #18

RUBY ANN'S TOMATO SOUP CAKE

Here it is, as promised. I love to serve this to all my Hollywood friends when they come to spend the night with me and my husband Dew. As I hinted in the Introduction, I always end up givin' the recipe out.

1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 and 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon bakin' soda
1/4 teaspoon cloves
pinch salt
10-oz. can tomato soup
1 cup raisins
1 cup nuts

Cream together the butter and sugar. Add the rest of the ingredients together. Bake in a loaf pan at 350° F for 35 to 40 minutes or until it can pass the toothpick test. Let it cool on a rack. Once it has completely and thoroughly cooled down cover it with RUBY ANN'S FROSTIN'. When servin', don't tell anybody what it is until they've tried it. Then be ready with a camera so you can capture the look on their faces. You'll bust a gut laughin'! -- Ruby Ann Boxcar Lot #18

RUBY ANN'S FROSTIN'

8-oz. cream cheese
1 tablespoon margarine
1 tablespoon milk

Mix together and add just enough powdered sugar to make smooth.

Copyright © 2002 Ruby Ann Boxcar.

Editorial Reviews

The Barnes & Noble Review
Are you ready for a new ethnic cuisine? Well, how about Trailer Toast made with government cheese for starters, followed by RC Cola Salad or Ruby Ann Boxcar's Dirt Bag Pudding for dessert? You can wash it all down with Wanda's Wild Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookie Drink, served in a nice 60-ounce cup. We're talking trailer park food here, according to the gospel by Ruby Ann Boxcar.

"We trailer park women are good at three things: liquor, jackin' our hair to Jesus, and cookin'," states Ruby Ann. She and the other residents at the High Chaparral Trailer Park have won blue ribbons at the Arkansas state and county fairs with their cooking, but one warning comes with their recipes: Don't let the ingredients frighten you (and that includes Spam).

You can figure out the major food groups of trailer park life by the various chapters in Ruby Ann's Down Home Trailer Park Cookbook: Appetizers, Beverages, Breads, Candy, Cookies, Cake, Desserts, Main Dishes, and Pies. Yes, the Lord of Starch rules here. Low fat? Ruby Ann says, "The closest thing you'll find to low fat in a trailer park is a bowl of ice cream without any fudge sauce on it. " And the only thing in the "Low Fat" chapter is a photo of the thinnest woman in the trailer park.

If you're ready for dinner in the afternoon and supper in the evening; if you'd like to try Spamcakes and Syrup for breakfast or any other meal, then no question: This is the book for you. (Ginger Curwen)

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