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Sanctified Sex: The Two-Thousand-Year Jewish Debate on Marital Intimacy
656
by Noam Sachs Zion
Noam Sachs Zion
Sanctified Sex: The Two-Thousand-Year Jewish Debate on Marital Intimacy
656
by Noam Sachs Zion
Noam Sachs Zion
Paperback
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Overview
Sanctified Sex draws on two thousand years of rabbinic debates addressing competing aspirations for loving intimacy, passionate sexual union, and sanctity in marriage. What can Judaism contribute to our struggles to nurture love relationships? What halakhic precedents are relevant, and how are rulings changing? The rabbis, of course, seldom agree. Underlying their arguments are perennial debates: What kind of marital sex qualifies as ideal—sacred self-control of sexual desire or the holiness found in emotional and erotic intimacy? Is intercourse degrading in its physicality or the highest act of spiritual/mystical union? And should women or men (or both) wield ultimate say about what transpires in bed? Noam Sachs Zion guides us chronologically and steadily through fraught terrain: seminal biblical texts and their Talmudic interpretations; Talmud tales of three unusual rabbis and their marital bedrooms; medieval codifiers and mystical commentators; ultra-Orthodox rabbis clashing with one another over radically divergent ideals; and, finally, contemporary rabbis of varied denominations wrestling with modern transformations in erotic lifestyles and values. Invited into these sanctified and often sexually explicit discussions with our ancestors and contemporaries, we encounter innovative Jewish teachings on marital intimacy, ardent lovemaking techniques, and the art of couple communication vital for matrimonial success.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9780827614666 |
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Publisher: | The Jewish Publication Society |
Publication date: | 08/01/2021 |
Pages: | 656 |
Product dimensions: | 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x (d) |
About the Author
Noam Sachs Zion has been a senior research fellow at the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem since 1978 and taught on the faculty of the Rabbinic Enrichment Center. His popular publications include the best seller A Different Night: The Family Participation Haggadah.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments IntroductionThe Two-Thousand-Year Debate Functions of Halakhah in Guiding Marital Relationships This Volume: Inclusions and Exclusions Part One. Marital Duties and Scheduled Sex: Torah and Mishnah 1. Legislating Marital Sexuality: Biblical and Rabbinic Mandates
Introduction Torah’s Two Foundational Narratives of Human Sexuality Talmudic Interpretations of Adam and Eve’s Relationship Marital Duties in Torah, Mishnah, and Talmud The Revolutionary Rabbinic Marriage Contract Rules for Onah’s Frequency Romantic and Liberal Critiques of the Mishnah’s Obligatory Sex Two Ultra-Orthodox Rejoinders to the Romantic Critique of Onah Modern Applications: Perel’s Scheduling of Intimacy and the Youngs’ Sexperiment Conclusion Part Two. Talmudic Disputes: Kama Sutra versus Ascetic Modesty in Three Rabbis’ Bedrooms 2. Talmudic Proprieties of Pillow Talk: Invading the Privacy of Rav’s Bedroom
Introduction Kahana’s Espionage in Rav’s Bedroom Rabbinic Views on Privacy Akiba: Torah over Privacy Kahana’s True Character? Halakhic Debate on Pillow Talk Rav’s Worldview: Love and Pleasure Maimonides, Elazar Hasid, and Hirsch Conclusion: Takeaways for a Modern Marriage 3. Modesty or License in the Marital Bed: Talmudic Debates about Imma Shalom and Rabbi Eliezer’s Midnight Sex
Introduction Eliezer’s Bedroom Etiquette The Angelic Code of Modesty Contesting Ascetic Traditions Birth Defects and Emotionally Defective Relationships The Medieval Legal Debate Modern Applications: Ben-Shimon, Soloveitchik, and Calderon 4. Talmudic Techniques of Arousal: Rav Hisda’s Sex Education Tutorial for His Daughters
Introduction Hisda’s Erotic Pedagogy Modern Applications for Orthodox Couples: Aviner and Shuchatowitz’s Marital Guidelines and Sigala’s Sensual Portraiture Conclusion Part Three. Medieval Mysticism and Law: Sacred Love and Legal Limits 5. A Mirror of the Divine Union: Kabbalists’ Sacred Eros of Marriage
Introduction Midrash on the Cherubs’ Erotic Embrace Ra’avad’s Kabbalist Manual for Sexual Union Aristotelian Jewish Philosophers versus Kabbalist Platonists Zohar: Reconceiving Erotic Pleasure Marital Intimacy: Zohar versus Lurianic Kabbalah Marital Intimacy: Talmud versus Zohar New Age Applications: Kabbalah Centre, Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, and Dennis on Spiritualized Sexuality Conclusion 6. Freestyle Eroticism? Permissive versus Ascetic Medieval Codes of Law
Introduction Permissive School: Maimonides and Isaac the Tosafist Ascetic School: Karo on Sanctity against Desire Permissive School: Reply to Karo Dissemination of Karo’s Ideology Conclusion: Medieval Legacies and Modern Predicaments Addendum: Maimonides’ Prescriptions for Medieval Viagra Part Four. Contemporary Haredim: Hasidim versus Litvaks on Marital Intimacy 7. Ascetic Bedrooms: Hasidic Sects Set Stringent Boundaries on Marital Intimacy
Introduction The Besht versus the Maggid on “Worship through Physicality” Historic Origins: Sanctity through Stringency Gur’s Ordinances Police the Bedroom Slonimer Rebbe’s Pep Talk Arranged Marriages and the Women of Gur A Disenchanted Disciple of Skver Hasidism Conclusion: Takeaways for a Modern Marriage 8. “Break Their Evil Nature”: Litvak Yeshivot and Salanter’s Mussar Suppress Desire and Familial Affection
Introduction Litvak Beginnings and the First Modern Yeshiva The Legacy of Premodern Ascetic Piety Salanter’s Mussar Movement: Yeshiva Education Curbs Natural Inclinations Salanter’s Legacy: The Kelm, Navaredok, and Slabodka Schools Mussar’s Apathy to Wife and Family Shifting Sands of Mussar: Wolbe’s Yoke of Marriage and North America’s Revival of Mussar Conclusion: Paradigm Shift from Mussar’s Apathy to Litvak Intimacy 9. Devotion and Desire: Litvak Revolution Equates Marital Intimacy with True Piety
Introduction Hazon Ish’s Holy Letter: Championing Marital Conversation Kanievsky’s Holy Letter: Marital Passion and Compassion Sher’s Letter, The Holiness of Israel: Reviving Haredi Desire Conclusion 10. Higher Purposes of Marriage: Education for Love, Peace, and Sanctity
Introduction Shuchatowitz: The Grave Sin of Rushed Sexual Performance The Scholar’s Onah: Shuchatowitz versus Aviner Marital Sexuality as the Synthesis of Nature and Spirituality Covenantal Marriage Loveless Sex Desecrates Sacred Matrimony The Higher Purposes of Onah: Love and Unity, Humanity and Sanctity Conclusion 11. Couple Communication as a Mitzvah: New Litvak Marriage Manuals Teach the Art of Loving Conversation
Introduction Flashback to Talmudic Pillow Talk Permitted Spousal Communication: Removing Acrimony and Arousing Desire Aviner’s Advice: Making a Study of One’s New Spouse Shuchatowitz’s Advice: Acknowledging Gender Differences in Marriage Haredi Educators Combine Sanctity and Intimacy Litvak Revolution or Haredi Crisis Management? Conclusion Part Five. Modern North American Rabbis: Confronting the Sexual Revolution 12. Redeeming Sexuality through Halakhah: Modern Orthodox Philosophers of Jewish Law Sanctify Pleasure within Marriage
Introduction: Comparing Haredim and North American Liberal Rabbis Toward a Modern Orthodox Philosophy and Practice of Sanctified Sex Greenberg’s Proposal to Modernize American Orthodoxy’s Sexual Ethics Linzer and Marcus’s Podcast, The Joy of Text Berkovits: Humanizing Sexual Relationships Soloveitchik: Redeeming Natural Sexuality Lamm’s The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage Lichtenstein’s “Of Marriage” and Ostroff’s To Know How to Love Orthodox Women’s Internet Responsa Conclusion 13. Struggling with Sexual Liberation: Liberal Judaism’s Rabbis Tackle Ominous and Liberating Dimensions of the Sexual Revolution
Introduction Problems Raised by Sexual Liberation Formulating Liberal Rabbinic Responses Borowitz: Covenantal Sexual Ethics Green: New Halakhah and New Kabbalah Strassfeld: Sexual Togetherness as Tikkun Olam Waskow: A Life-Cycle Approach to Sex Ethics Conclusion 14. Sliding-Scale Sex Ethics: Liberal Halakhah Balances Marital Sanctity and the Realities of Nonmarital Sex
Introduction Sexual Ethics through Jewish Values Clarification Conservative and Reform Responsa Three Tiers of Liberal Sexual Ethics Traditional Halakhah and Contemporary Conservative Jews Realistic Halakhah Condones Lesser Sins to Avoid Greater Sins Test Case 1: Adultery Revisited Test Case 2: Open Marriage and Polyamory Conclusion 15. Legalizing Living Together? Competing Rabbinic Policies
Introduction Historical Background: The Pilegesh Emden’s Pathbreaking Halakhah: Enhancing Marital Lovemaking and Legalizing a Paramour On Living Together: Contemporary Halakhic Debate Test Case 3: Caring for the Caretaker Whose Spouse Is Incapacitated Conclusion 16. A Feminist Alternative to Halakhic Marriage: Jewish Theologians Rethink the Marriage Contract and Gender Biases
Introduction Radical Jewish Feminism versus Liberal Judaism: Revolution or Reform? Radical Jewish Feminism versus Secular Feminism: Sacred or Private Relationships? Plaskow’s Approach: Women Returning to Sinai Adler’s Approach: Redeeming Tradition for Egalitarian Holiness A New and Renewed Aggadah for Covenantal Love A New Halakhah: B’rit Ahuvim Multiform Sexuality, Gender Fluidity, and Hybridity as Divinely Blessed Conclusion Conclusion: Aggadah and Halakhah of Marriage
Aggadah of Gender Justice versus Gender Equality Aggadah of Sexual Playfulness versus Spiritualized Sanctity Aggadah of Negative versus Positive Sanctity in the Institution of Marriage Aggadah of Negative versus Positive Sanctity in Sexual Relations Halakhah of Onah: Male Prerogative versus Female Right Halakhah of Caring Communication Halakhah’s Labors of Love Notes Bibliography Index
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