So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know

by Retta

Overview

In her hilarious book of essays, Parks and Recreation star Retta shares the stories that led to her success in Hollywood.

In So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y’all Don’t Even Know, Parks and Recreation star Retta takes us on her not-so-meteoric rise from roaches to riches (well, rich enough that she can buy $15,000 designer handbags yet scared enough to know she’s always a heartbeat away from ramen with American cheese).

Throwing her hard-working Liberian parents for a loop, Retta abandons her plan to attend med school after graduating Duke University to move to Hollywood to star in her own sitcom—like her comedy heroes Lucille Ball and Roseanne.

Say what? Word. Turns out Retta might actually be on to something. After winning Comedy Central’s stand-up competition, she should be ready for prime time—but a fear of success derails her biggest dream.

Whether reminiscing about her days as a contract chemist at GlaxoSmithKline, telling “dirty” jokes to Mormons, feeling like the odd man out on Parks, fending off racist trolls on Twitter, flirting with Michael Fassbender, or expertly stalking the cast of "Hamilton," Retta’s unique voice and refreshing honesty will make you laugh, cry, and laugh so hard you’ll cry.

Her eponymous sitcom might not have happened yet, but by the end of So Close to Being the Sh*t, you’ll be rooting for Retta to be the next one-named wonder to take over your television. And she just might inspire you to reach for the stars, too.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250109712
Publisher:	St. Martin's Publishing Group
Publication date:	02/05/2019
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	463,366
Product dimensions:	5.00(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Actress and comedian RETTA has delighted audiences with her performance aptitude and comedy precision and has established herself as a consistent first pick for Hollywood. Retta currently stars as Barbara on the Bravo hit series Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce. Previously Retta spent seven seasons playing the uber beloved office mate Donna Meagle on NBC's critically acclaimed comedy Parks and Recreation.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 Eff You, Effie! 1

Chapter 2 The Darkest Of Magic 15

Chapter 3 From Roaches To Riches, Bitches! 25

Chapter 4 Louis And Gucci And Pucci, Oh My! 47

Chapter 5 What's Up Doc? 61

Chapter 6 You Do? I Don't 81

Chapter 7 Knock Knock 87

Chapter 8 I Think I Might Be Lazy 103

Chapter 9 Food, Water, Oxygen, Television 117

Chapter 10 'TIS Better To Give Than To Receive … Another FKN Candle 131

Chapter 11 Ginuwine Isn't Really My Cousin 141

Chapter 12 Membership Has Its Privileges 163

Chapter 13 I Would Puck Witchu 183

Chapter 14 It's An Unforettable Life 201

Chapter 15 Stretch Marks Fo Life! 221

Chapter 16 That Year I Went Un-Sane 233

Epilogue 257

Which Came First? The Chicken, Obvi

Acknowledgments 260

Editorial Reviews

"Hollywood has no more honest, hilarious or necessary guide than Retta. If her tweets just aren't enough, get ready for the fullness of her vision- you're gonna laugh. You're gonna think. You're gonna be hella glad you came." —Lena Dunham, author of Not That Kind of Girl

"Reading this book is like having the best coffee date with the life-long friend I wish I had. Retta makes me laugh and feel so hard." —America Ferrera

"Two things - 1) Don't yell "Treat Yo Self" at Retta if you see her in person, a lot of people have done that already, just whisper it to yourself and give her a thumbs up. That'd be cool. 2) Check out her book. Stop reading this quote and buy it already boo boo." —Aziz Ansari, author of Modern Romance

“This book feels like a real conversation. When we enter Retta’s world we are at the best party and in the hands of a gracious, self-perceptive and deeply hilarious host.” —Amy Poehler, author of Yes, Please

"A humorous memoir that will please the author's many fans and followers." —Kirkus Reviews

"Whether recalling her early years doing stand-up on the college circuit, expounding on the ways TV shows reflect us, or fangirling hard for the musical Hamilton, comedian and actor Retta spins entertaining tales and hilarious phrases.... As books like this one go, hers is as honest, funny, and fun to read as they come." —Booklist

"Retta’s unique voice and refreshing honesty will make you laugh, cry, and laugh so hard you cry." —Bustle

"A breezy and comedic tale... Fans of stand-up comedy, celebrity books, and especially fans of Retta's work will likely enjoy this fun, lighthearted read." —Library Journal

“Retta was already one of our favorite people in Hollywood — yet the hilarious, inspirational essays of So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know made us love her even more.” —Popsugar

“Get ready to laugh out loud in public.” —Cosmopolitan

“The hilarious star of Parks and Recreation and Good Girls, Retta knows how to get a laugh. Her debut essay collection tackles everything from abandoning her med school plans to stalking the cast of Hamilton.” —Purewow

“This memoir is fantastic. It’s funny, it’s heartfelt, it’s insightful, and it’s charming. I liked Retta before; now I’m her biggest fan.” —Bookriot

From the Publisher

You may be familiar with Retta's work on the TV show “Parks and Recreation.” If so, this will be a rollicking good time as the author shares the backstory of her bumpy road to stardom. If not, this is still a great listen as Retta's effusive personality inhabits the tell-all anecdotes. From how she talked herself out of auditioning for a role in the film DREAM GIRLS to how she won a year's worth of Taco Bell, the listener is in for a treat as Retta's warmth and humor take them by the ear. As far as celebrity memoirs go, this is more self-deprecating than most. And that might place it near the top of the list of those that are the most fun. M.R. © AudioFile 2018, Portland, Maine

MAY 2018 - AudioFile

2018-03-19
A playful romp through the psyche of a funny woman.During the slump for stand-up comedians following 9/11, Retta found herself facing stiff competition for acting roles. "It was hard to stand out in the crowd," she writes. "It felt like I was being lumped in with one group—funny black female—and the powers that be were making no effort to discern the difference between us. You've heard the phrase, ‘They all look alike?' Well, apparently we all WERE alike." She has since distinguished herself through her breakthrough role on Parks and Recreation and as queen of an exponentially expanding social media following, and this memoir offers plenty of other details to separate her from the run of the comedic mill. Her family is first-generation immigrants from Liberia. She attended Duke University on a pre-med track, planning to be a neurosurgeon, and left as a pharmaceutical rep who moonlighted at comedy clubs. The predominantly Caucasian Duke campus was where she first felt most black; she bonded with minority students, and when she started with comedy, she felt that she didn't fit the stereotype for black stand-up. She has an addictive personality, and she considers coffee, TV, purses, and social media among her obsessions. She was once invited to live tweet an LA Kings hockey game by someone with the team who loved her on TV and knew she had a strong following, and she quickly embraced the sport and the team she had previously known nothing about. "If you follow me on social media, you may know that I am a…Kings fan," she writes. "I'm not kuh-ray-zee, but I am definitely enthusiastic. I love me some Kaaannnngggsss. I know that meeting a black woman with a love for hockey is a bit like stumbling upon a unicorn in the woods." Much of the book is written in a similar voice, and some of the chapters are mainly setups for a series of tweets, but the author's life path is unquestionably interesting.A humorous memoir that will please the author's many fans and followers.

Kirkus Reviews