Table of Contents
Introduction 1
WTF Is Politics Anymore? 5
Susan Rice on How Diplomacy Has Changed (and How Young Women Can Help Shape It) 19
Shits, Giggles, and Medical Marijuana 23
Are You There, God? It's Me, Alyssa 32
When John Kerry Saw Me in My Underwear 40
The Meow Coat Has Claws 44
What to Expect When You're Not Expecting to Ride a Motorcycle for Hundreds of Miles Along the Japanese Coast 50
Oh, the Places You'll Go! (And Be Spied on by Foreign Governments) 61
Why You Should Always Listen to Michelle Obama 73
Dan Pfeiffer on How Platonic Life Partners Help You Avoid Catastrophe 76
"How Do I Get to Be You by the Time I'm Thirty-Five?" 79
Quitters Sometimes Win 93
Ted Chiodo's List of Words AM Uses That You Should Pay Attention To 99
Electric Chocolate Cream Pie Acid Test 102
The Woman in Red Leather Pants 108
"Tell Alyssa She Needs to Get Better at Email" 119
In Praise of Monica Lewinsky 129
Monica Lewinsky on How Not to Be a Jerk on Twitter 136
How Jennifer Aniston Got Me Through My Breakup 139
I Was Wrong About John Mayer 148
The Ones Who Got Away 155
A Note on Sex 164
Altared States 165
What to Expect When You're Not Expecting 175
Victory Over Big Panty 194
How I Became a Crazy Cat Lady 201
Chelsea Handier on My Unhealthy Relationship to Cats 208
Long May You Run (and Not Burst into Flames) 210
I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Specifically: Barack Obama and Jennifer Hudson) 219
Acknowledgments 226