Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek

by Olivia Munn, Mac Montandon Narrated by Olivia Munn

Overview

Today's hottest geek and host of G4's ATTACK OF THE SHOW dishes her unique brand of humor of on everything from Star Wars, gadgets, and her love of banana cream pie.

Olivia Munn is an actress, comedian and television host, best known for being the face of the G4 network. She also occasionally likes to get dressed up as Wonder Woman. SUCK IT WONDER WOMAN is her paean to Geeks everywhere. Using her trademark humor in essays like THOUGHTS ABOUT MY FIRST AGENT'S GIRLFRIEND'S VAGINA she skewers what it's like to live in Hollywood. In "SEX: WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP YOURSELF HAVE MORE OF IT" she frankly gets down to the business of getting it on. In "WHAT TO DO WHEN THE ROBOTS INVADE (YES, WHEN!)," Olivia offers valuable information on... what to do when the robots invade! And just when you thought she couldn't get any more Geeky, she can. This book also includes an Olivia Munn timeline of great moments in Geek history and her answers to the Unofficial Geek FAQ. Is it any wonder that Olivia Munn is quickly becoming the most powerful Geek on the planet? SUCK IT WONDER WOMAN is a humorous look at geeks, gadgets, Hollywood, and huge heapings of banana cream pie.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Munn, co-host of Attack of the Show! and fantasy for nerd-boys everywhere, pens a comic-memoir of her usually absurd, sometimes sad, often hilarious experiences. She writes of her childhood in a Japanese military school and a preppy Oklahoma high school, the time she peed her pants in school, shady Hollywood agents, and a few firsts (boyfriend, casting call, house party). Munn, a self-proclaimed nerd, peppers her book with nerd trivia and wisdom, from the moral lessons of Star Wars and Princess Lea tweets to fan art from Comic-Con. Don't be fooled by Munn's nerd love though; her book is surprisingly sexual, even considering her status as a geek sex-symbol. We hear her advice on dating, making love, her Playboy photo-shoot (clothed, no less), and the bizarre, perverse, and hysterical sexual antics of the Hollywood elite. She also describes the infamous costumes she wears on her show, from the eponymous Wonder Woman to the French nursemaid outfit she had on when she leapt into a massive pie. Munn's irreverent wit runs throughout, making it a must-read for geeks or anyone just looking for a laugh. Photos. (July)

From the Publisher

Turn to page 92 now!” —Garry Shandling

“A book only Olivia Munn could write. Better read it now; everyone'll be talking about it tomorrow.” —Stan Lee

“This book so good. You buy now. Okay, bye.” —Olivia’s mom

“If Citizen Kane were a book, this would be it.” —Jon Favreau

“She's part Asian! And I like sushi.” —Masi Oka

“This book confirms why Olivia has garnered a massive supportive following—she's fearless, honest, relatable, and truly funny.” —Elijah Wood

Library Journal

In what may be the season's most vapid and insipid C-list celebrity memoir, Munn, cohost of G4 network's Attack of the Show!, strings together a pastiche of seemingly random and arbitrary observations about her angst-ridden, peripatetic childhood as an Air Force brat, early struggles in Hollywood, and life as a minor celebrity. Among the grist for the Munn mill is her 25-point guide for spotting assholes, tips on how to drink tequila shots, a chapter composed entirely of nonsequitur tweets, and sagacious advice on threesomes. That Munn has uncanny perception for the obvious and a potty mouth will come as no surprise to the Attack of the Show! fanboys and geeks to whom this book is so egregiously targeted. There's also plenty of Munn eye candy to go around, including a kitschy flip book. VERDICT Something sucks in Suck It, Wonder Woman, but it isn't the Amazing Amazon. Munn's fans, however, will love this piece of dreck. [See Prepub Alert, LJ 2/15/10.]—Barry X. Miller, Austin P.L., TX

Product Details

BN ID:	2940171896164
Publisher:	Macmillan Audio
Publication date:	07/06/2010
Edition description:	Unabridged

Read an Excerpt

When I started working at G4 I thought I would be able to continue acting in other projects at the same time. And within the first six months of starting on Attack of the Show I booked two different theatrical jobs. But because of my G4 time commitments, I wasn’t able to take on the additional work. I started to become creatively frustrated and stunted. I was having a great time on AOTS and the ratings were fantastic. But I needed to do something else, too. I needed to become a different character and create something new for myself. That’s what I love about acting—putting on a new persona, delving into a new world and just pretending. Or, alternately, putting on tights and gold, bullet-deflecting bracelets and letting ’er rip!

So, yes, I had an artistic void that needed to be filled. A creative itch that needed scratching. A performance bug that needed . . . swatting? An inspired vaginal condition that needed ointment.

Um, forget that last one.

Anyway, I decided to start doing skits for Attack of the Show. This was around the same time that rumors were circulating that Wonder Woman was going to be made into a feature film. I called up G4’s comic book expert and my close friend Blair Butler, and told her I’d love to do a skit about Wonder Woman and what it’s like for her to be a female superhero—there are no pockets in your super-spandexy hot shorts, invisible jets are hard to find and the bad guys are always hitting on you. We shot the Wonder Woman skit and it was so much fun. I put on the spandex starry shorts, red bustier, tall red boots and headgear. I felt . . . powerful and indestructible— I felt like a superhero! I felt badass enough that if I saw the real Wonder Woman I would’ve told her to suck it! It’s funny how putting on a costume can completely change your state of mind and how you walk. I totally now understand how everyone looks forward to Comic-Con and dressing up. You feel invincible and strong and any social awkwardness you might normally have is hidden behind a mask . . . literally. Blair and I had a blast shooting the skit. I was running around, posing, being a badass saving people . . . but eventually you do start to feel like you’re becoming the character—and that’s when trouble happens. There was a fight scene where Blair dressed up as Cheetah and I had to take her down. I threw her to the ground and the next thing I heard was a loud crack—it was Blair’s head hitting the concrete. Oh, shit. I completed the scene and didn’t let her injury ruin the shot. Because hey—it’s already happened. Why ruin the shot and have to have her do it again? And yes, I would’ve stopped if she screamed out in pain or yelled “cut,” but she didn’t. Thankfully, the cost for Blair was just a small bump. But now when I shoot skits I’m much more careful when I bludgeon someone to the ground. In fact, we’ve come up with a safe word: Petunia. When I hear that, I know got to stop immediately. Or buy flowers. Luckily never had anyone use the safe word . . . yet. Now, little did I know at the time, but this was the beginning of what would turn out to be my calling card on the network. Soon after the great response came back from the network on that first skit, we created a master list of all the geek icons that we could turn into a skit for me—Slave Leia, the Baroness from G. I. Joe, Emma Frost from X—Men, Silk Spectre from Watchmen, Lara Croft, the Wonder Twins, and Catwoman, just to name a few. I love doing these skits, but at some point it gets to be a little much. I mean, really, can someone answer this for me: Why are all female superheroes packed into spandex and hot shorts? Okay, of course I know the answer. I know why they’re all scantily clad. It’s because men draw them and if there is one thing men love it’s boobs! And legs! And boobs! But really what they love is boobs. The truth is, I actually dig the outfits. They’re sexy and fun and I feel really fucking awesome in them. But, Jesus Christ, you can’t eat for a good week before you put these things on. Not even pie. Sigh. When I put on Wonder Woman, I didn’t eat any carbs for a week (suck it in, Wonder Woman), didn’t eat past 7 P.M. and did Pilates morning and night. I got a spray tan for the first time (first of many) and hated every second of it. When you get spray-tanned you are in a booth with a total stranger and you get completely naked. It’s like Times Square in the seventies. As she sprays you with the cold dark liquid, you can see the tan land on your skin. It’s as if you’re getting painted. I call it “getting dipped” because that’s what it feels like. Like you are just a giant human ice-cream cone getting dipped in delicious caramel dipping sauce. Holy crap, I’m hungry. And then there’s the bustier. Contrary to popular belief (and what you see thanks to the magic of Photoshop), I don’t have very large breasts. I actually created my own bra that specializes in giving you amazing cleavage, especially when you wouldn’t normally have it. I created this bra on the set of the Wonder Woman skit. Because when I first put on that bustier I noticed how sad my boobs looked, how very un-Wonderful they looked, and how powerful the outfit was. Didn’t really match, you know? So I fashioned my own bra. I’d love to tell you exactly how I created my bra, but I can’t. Trade secrets, bitches! Because I’m in the middle of creating and patenting it as you read this. But I promise, for the next book, I’ll give out a free bra with every book you buy. Deal? So I invented a bra and my boobs have never been the same. Some mornings they thank me and other days they just scream at me and cry, “Just leave us alone! We’re not meant to be pushed up so goddamn high! We need a break. Just one day of relief.” Which reminds me, I have got to get back to listening to my How to Speak Boob in Five Weeks or Less tapes. Now for something a little bit unpleasant: the hot shorts. Every girl hates her ass. It’s true. And I am no different. Except that no girl hates her ass as much as a girl whose ass is packed into a Wonder Woman costume. So here was the scene: Me, hating my ass, in full Wonder Woman gear and hot shorts. Running. (Despite how horrible I’m making it sound now, it is actually one of my favorite outfits. And I hope to one day put it into the Smithsonian . . . or at the very least be able to wear it when I’m eighty. Sorry for that visual. Old lady ass in hot shorts is generally not a pretty image, unless that old lady’s ass belongs to Demi Moore. Then, let’s talk.) In short, I could’ve used the assistance of another superhero: Magical Ass-Slimming Man.

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