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Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes"
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Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or "Fat Envelopes"
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Overview
Psychologist Madeline Levine brings together cutting-edge research and thirty years of clinical experience to explode once and for all the myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame.
Parents, educators, and the media wring their hands about the escalating rates of emotional problems and lack of real engagement with learning found so frequently among America’s children and teens. Yet there are ways to reverse these disheartening trends. Until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, and emotionally impaired children who believe they are only as good as their last performance.
Confronting the real issues behind why we push some of our kids to the breaking point while dismissing the talents and interests of many others, Levine shows us how to shift our focus from the excesses of hyperparenting and the unhealthy reliance on our children for status and meaning to a parenting style that concentrates on both enabling academic success and developing a sense of purpose, well-being, and connection in our children’s lives.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9780062196842 |
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Publisher: | HarperCollins |
Publication date: | 12/06/2016 |
Pages: | 352 |
Sales rank: | 1,031,491 |
Product dimensions: | 5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.90(d) |
About the Author
Table of Contents
Introduction Courageous Parenting-Taking the Long View xiii
Part 1 Authentic Success: It's Not About Bleeding Hearts Versus Tiger Moms 1
Chapter 1 The Kids Are Not Alright (and Neither Are Their Parents) 3
Chapter 2 How Did We Get into This Mess? 23
Part 2 The "School Years" are Not Just About Academics: A Primer on Child Development 43
Chapter 3 The Tasks of the Elementary School Years: Ages 5-11 45
Learning How to Make Friends and Be a Friend 49
Becoming Competent and Excited About Learning 59
Developing a Sense of Self: Who Am I? 69
Becoming an Empathic Person 73
Remembering to Play 79
General Recommendations for Parenting Your Elementary School Age Child 84
Chapter 4 The Tasks of the Middle School Years: Ages 11-14 89
Navigating Puberty 93
Staying Healthy 103
Building Independence 120
Building a Peer Group 129
Note to Parents 144
Chapter 5 The Tasks of the High School Years: Ages 14-18 145
Becoming an Adult Thinker 148
Learning to Manage Sexuality 159
Building a Sense of Identity 167
Developing Autonomy 174
Part 3 The Resilience Factor: Seven Essential Coping Skills 185
Chapter 6 Teaching Our Kids to Find Solutions 189
Resourcefulness: "I can handle this" instead of "Mom …" 189
Enthusiasm: "I love this" instead of "Whatever" 194
Creativity: "Let's look at this differently" not "What's the right answer?" 201
A Good Work Ethic: "I'm going to keep at it" instead of "I quit" 209
Chapter 7 Teaching Our Kids to Take Action 217
Self-Control: "It just doesn't feel right" instead of "All the kids are doing it" 217
Self-Esteem: "I feel good about myself" instead of "I suck" 225
Self-Efficacy: "I can make a difference" instead of "Nothing I do matters" 232
Part 4 Walking the Talk 241
Chapter 8 Defining and Living Your Family Values: A Paper and Pencil Exercise 243
What Are Your Core Values? 248
Family Values Statement 252
Your Guiding Principles 254
The Family Action Plan 255
Chapter 9 Editing the Script: Becoming the Parents We Want to Be 261
Denial: "Problem? What problem?" 266
Projection: "Yeah, they've got a problem, not me" 271
Peer Pressure: It's Not Just for Teenagers 275
Is Parenting Hereditary? "I can't believe I sound just like my mother" 282
The Trinity of Change: Self-Reflection, Empathy, and Flexibility 286
Acknowledgments 299
Notes 303
Index 311
What People are Saying About This
“A fantastic, on-point, desperately needed book! If you have children or care about children or care about the future of this country and the world, read this book.”
“With keen insight and telling examples, Levine offers suggestions for adopting a more balanced idea of success that requires changing deeply ingrained habits but is well worth the effort.”
“Madeline Levine’s voice is a welcome antidote to the Tiger-Momming of America. [Teach Your Children Well] is packed with smart and savvy advice for raising independent, productive, and well-adjusted young people. Read this book—your kids will thank you.”
“For the sake of the adults of tomorrow, I hope that Teach Your Children Well becomes a must-read and must-discuss book for parents today.”
“Levine really comes into her own . . . when she moves beyond child development to concentrate instead on parent development, exploring why we do the misguided things we do, and asking how we must (as we must) change ourselves and behave differently.”