The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids: A Simple Model for Developing Your Child's Maturity- at Every Stage

by Marcus Warner, Chris Coursey

Overview

Is “Joy-Building” the secret to raising mature healthy kids?

Joy-filled kids aren’t always happy kids, but they do know how to work for and wait for what is truly satisfying in life. In The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids you will discover a tool box full of skills that you can use with your children to help them grow in maturity and live with greater joy.
 
These tools help your kids, from infants to teens, build skills like:

• Regulating upset emotions so they can return to joy
• Forming a stable identity that doesn’t change with each new emotion
• Developing discernment to distinguish between what is satisfying and what is only temporarily pleasurable
• Discovering heart values and not just living to please others
• Building “joy bonds” rather than “fear bonds”

The skills you’ll learn in The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids will not only help you parent your children well, but they will also help you grow joy in your family.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780802421722
Publisher:	Moody Publishers
Publication date:	06/01/2021
Pages:	160
Sales rank:	612,084
Product dimensions:	6.80(w) x 4.90(h) x 0.30(d)

About the Author

MARCUS WARNER (MDiv, ThM, and Min Trinity Evangelical Divinity School) is the president of Deeper Walk International. A former pastor and professor, he has written on topics ranging from how to study the Bible to spiritual warfare, emotional healing, and leadership. Marcus travels the world equipping people on the front lines of ministry with practical tools for dealing with root issues that keep people stuck and unable to go deeper into what God has for them.

CHRIS COURSEY is an ordained minister, pastoral counselor, published author, and international speaker. He and his wife, Jen, lead and design the THRIVE Training Program that uses brain-based exercises to train leaders, families, and communities in the 19 relational skills and the Immanuel Lifestyle. They are passionate about helping people acquire the skills to make relationships work. Chris and Jen have two boys, Matthew and Andrew.

Table of Contents

Introduction 11

Chapter 1 Why Is Parenting So Hard? 15

Chapter 2 As Simple as ABCD 29

Chapter 3 Raising Joy-Filled Infants 51

Chapter 4 Raising Joy-Filled Children 77

Chapter 5 Joy-Filled Adults 107

Chapter 6 The Oxygen Mask 131

Acknowledgments 147

Notes 149

About the Authors 155

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

Praise for The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids

“If we were created for joy, and if every relational system in the world is modeled, ultimately, after the family, then who would not want to know how to raise joy-filled children who themselves then go on to be conduits of that joy in every institution they occupy? With The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids, Chris Coursey and Marcus Warner have given us a gem of a book that not only will change how you parent but also bring deep, lasting hope to all of your relational interactions. Read this book prepared to work. Read it prepared to be changed. But mostly, read it for the joy that is waiting for you as you do.”
–CURT THOMPSON, MD, Author, The Soul of Shame and Anatomy of the Soul

“The journey from infancy to maturity is one that no child can make alone. Children need parents not merely to provide but to support and guide. But who will support and guide the parents? Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey have a keen understanding of the developmental needs of three-year-olds, thirteen-year-olds, and thirty-year-olds. Not only insightful but eminently practical, The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids is a primer every parent should read.”
–BILL ST. CYR, PHD, cofounder of Ambleside Schools International

“Chris Coursey and Marcus Warner approach parenting from a different perspective than any parenting book I have read. In The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids, they hold up a worthy goal: raising children who are motivated by relational joy instead of fear. My one critique of this book is that they didn’t write this book twenty years ago when our kids were young. If you are a parent or if you know a parent, this book is a gold mine. I’m already counting how many copies I plan to give away.”
–MICHEL HENDRICKS, Director of Consulting at Life Model Works and coauthor of The Other Half of Church

“In The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids, Coursey and Warner provide needed resources to parents who want to build a relational home of joy and peace. This is what every parent who seeks counsel or coaching desires to learn. Every parent or soon to be parent wants this must-read book on how to raise resilient kids.”
–LORI A. MATEER, MA, LPC, Red Rocks Church University Classes Counselor/Trainer

“The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids is an excellent parenting resource! It is full of practical and helpful insights into building joy-filled kids while encouraging growth and maturity at every stage of development.”
–STEFANIE HINMAN, MS-ATR, BCCC, art therapist and counselor, coauthor of Building Bounce, author of Building Bounce with Kids

“Few jobs are more rewarding or difficult than that of parenting. Warner and Coursey, in their book The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids, offer solid help in navigating the challenging waters of parenthood. Their material is insightful, encouraging, and abundantly practical. You’ll find that not only does their material equip you for becoming a better parent but a better person as well.”
–PAUL AND MARILYN HONTZ, Parents of five adult married kids and fourteen “Grand Joys!”; author of Listening for God and Shame Lifter

“Where was this book when my kids were born? This is one of those books I will keep available for my coaching clients. Coursey and Warner have taken complex neuroscience and made it easy to understand and apply at every stage of your kids’ development. Become the parent you want your kids to have. Read this book. Do the activities. Enjoy your family!”
–DAWN WHITESTONE, author of Strategic Business Prayer and founding partner of WhiteStone Professionals

“Jam-packed full of the best teaching on parenting, The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids is a no-nonsense, practical book that very clearly and concisely explains the ABCDs of parenting. Like none other, this book is profound, yet simple and practical. It is my number-one resource for new and experienced parents alike. Sure wish this had been available twenty years ago. Thank you Chris and Marcus!”
–TONI M. DANIELS, Operations Director and Training Champion, LK10; author, Back to Joy; coauthor, Joy Fueled

“The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids by Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey is one of the best books I have read on parenting. They bring fresh ideas for emotional training in joy, maturity, and relating without fear. This book should be on every shelf—and read—where children are present. Practicing what Warner and Coursey propose will transform families, adults, and children of all ages.”
–BARBARA MOON, author of Joy-Filled Relationships and Joy-Filled Parenting with Teens

“Chris and Marcus are rock stars of clarity and practicality. They make the cutting-edge brain science of attachment understandable and useful. As a psychotherapist and a wounded healer, I have spent my life helping adults recover from early childhood attachment wounds. What a joy it is to read such clear guidance for parents longing to do a better job but not knowing what it looks like.”
–MARGARET M. WEBB, MA, Clinical Psychology, Wheaton College Graduate School; cofounder of Alive and Well, Inc., and Director of Immanuel Encounter Training

“The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids is refreshingly deep and simple at the same time—the acronyms make the power points simple to remember. ABCD, CAKE, VCR—we are already starting to rehearse them so they will be in our minds when we need them. We celebrate how Chris and Marcus are creating such wonderful and practical applications in our day through their recent books that embody the wise integration of sound theology and the latest neuroscience.”
–MICHAEL AND TERRI SULLIVANT, authors, speakers; Life Model Works; Radius Ministries; Terri Sullivant Coaching

“The 4 Habits of Raising Joy Filled Kids taught us more ways to CREATE joy. Marcus and Chris provide tools to help you identify trouble spots in a constructive way with assessments and reflections. In addition, they provide practical ways to incorporate these joy-building techniques with practical “Habit Builder” exercises. Even while reading the book we started putting into practice some “Habit Builders” with our grandchild and witnessed results immediately by CREATING joy in a common low-joy situation!”
–JIM AND MICHELLE YEAGER, parents of adult children and grandparents to children; WOW Church

“This is a foundational book for parenting. I.e., you need to read this one first. Easy to read with exercises that can make joy a reality in your family—no matter how old your children are. Warning: this book can be challenging as it may reveal the holes in how you were raised or mistakes you have made with your kids, but it is also hopeful because it is so practical. It lays out exercises you can do to change the path of your parenting and your children forever.”
–STEVE MATEER

“Chris Coursey and Marcus Warner masterfully show us what joy-filled families look like in clear, easy-to-digest chunks. I am so thrilled to have this new resource, The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids. Again, practicality, simplicity, and clarity make this book a gem for any parent. I will be giving away lots of copies.”
–LINDA KIMBROUGH

“The 4 Habits of Raising Joy Filled Kids is a concise and time-worthy bundle of help! If you’ve ever had parenting questions, you will now understand: the aim is to grow joy! I predict this easy six-chapter read will become a staple for families who will raise children filled with joy!”
–PAM BRYAN

“Parenting is definitely the hardest job. We have these beautiful tiny little babes that grow into independent beings, with no handbook on how to parent. Well, great news. Chris and Marcus have packaged the tools needed for attunement and parenting in their book The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids. These are tools that I wish I had known when my children were still at home, but I still use them now to nurture healthy relationships with my children, and these tools help me to be the kind of “Nana” who is available and joyful.”
–ANNA HILL, Journey Church of God

“Bravo to Warner and Coursey for creating a stellar guide to parenting that integrates the wisdom of human development, attachment theory, brain science, and relational skills into a practical, approachable book. This is the best parenting book I have ever read because it addresses one of the heartaches of our world: that so few people understand what children and adults need—as well as what they need to master—to become joyful, resilient adults who are impacting our world for the good.”
–ELIZABETH MOLL STALCUP, PHD, executive director of Healing Center International and author of Whispers in the Storm, Miracles, and the Facing Life’s Losses workbook

“I read this book as a father whose children have all left the “nest.” In doing so, I was continually processing emotions that came to mind with the excellent illustrations by Chris Coursey and Marcus Warner. The most dominant emotion was deep gratitude that such a book has been written for parents. In speaking to the broad range of parents from those with infants all the way to those who have adult children, the authors have given our world and society a precious gift. All of us are starving for joy.”
–DANA BRYAN, Center City Chapel

“We pick up, read, and devour every book Chris and Marcus write together. The focus is on parenting, but it’s applicable to all kinds of relationships. If there are any children you care about, I encourage you to buy this book and read it as it is not only for parents.”
–JOHN LOPPNOW, Relationship Coach and Therapist

“This is the most insightful parenting book we have ever read. It offers practical application that is grounded in wisdom and knowledge. The teachings made us painfully aware of our shortcomings yet simultaneously created a newfound hope for the parents we could become. If more parents applied these habits, we would empower generations to rise up and become mature adults filled with hope, joy, and the ability to bounce back from hardships.”
–CLINTON AND CHARITY MUNOZ, founders of Restored 2 More, Inc.

“The little-known secret gems found in this book will forever change how you view your role as a parent. The habits I discovered here have completely changed the way I parent. We found the habits could very practically be integrated into our daily lives. As I was reading, I was making a list of people I wantto share this with!”
–JEREMY BERLIN, MS, LMFT, founder of The Joy Couple

“This is hands down one of the best parenting books I’ve ever read. It’s simple, to the point, honest, and the practicality and the simplicity of the habits at the end of each chapter feel like small, doable action steps. It is also refreshing to hear from dads in this area, as the arena of expertise is generally flooded with moms. This is a book that I will be reading and rereading, along with purchasing multiple copies to hand out to friends and family.”
–LIEZA BATES, mother, author, and speaker

“We so wish we would have had this book at the beginning of our parenting adventure! Even though our boys are almost raised, The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids is such a valuable resource that will serve as your playbook no matter where you are on your parenting or grandparenting journey.”
–ANTHONY AND JEN HOPP

“As a husband, father, grandparent, and family physician, I found this book to be not only about joy, but joy-filled in itself. The simple yet powerful paradigm for thinking about building joy at each stage of a child’s life was easy to remember and allowed the fresh openness of each reader’s story to shape the way they parent, yet with recognition of fruitful ways, which can be learned and applied, of developing your children into mature and joyful adults. These are joyful stories and a useful manual wrapped up in one small volume, a treasure for parents (and anyone who interacts with children) in any stage of life.”
–TIM DAVY

“As a wife, mother, grandmother, and mentor, this little book is such a treasure not only for parents yearning to learn how to nurture and equip their children in a life-giving way, but also for the many of us who were missing these skills as children. The clear personal examples are very helpful in mentoring adults with maturity gaps.”
–SHELLEY DAVY

“The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids shines a light on what is often a missing ingredient in family life: joyfully interacting in a way that builds emotional maturity and life skills. With explanation of what is needed at each stage of development and concrete description of how to build more joy and resilience, Chris Coursey and Marcus Warner explain how to grow as parents and how to help our children grow and thrive. We highly recommend it to anyone with children of any age.”
–JOHN AND MARY ELLEN SAUNDERS

“FUN is the glue that holds families together during good and challenging times. Simple skills like smiling often, filling moments with laughter, being kind to those near us, and providing a good word lightens our spirits, calms tense emotions, and fills our joy tanks! We literally made it a goal with our twelve children to “launch happy” at the start of each day! This book reveals the path to add joy and fun into your family with practical methods to do so. Enjoy!”
–BILL AND PAMELA MUTZ, FamilyLife Weekend to Remember speakers; parents of twelve children and over twenty-seven grands