The Automobile

by George Fitch

Overview

AUTOMOBILE RULES FOR PEDESTRIANS

In a very clever little sketch, called "The Automobile," by George Fitch, that originally appeared in Collier's, the following rules occurred. One can hardly fail to appreciate their humor.

Rule One.-Pedestrians crossing boulevards at night shall wear a white light in front and a red light in the rear.

Rule Two.-Before turning to the right or left they shall give three short blasts on a horn at least three inches in diameter.

Rule Three.-When an inexperienced automobile driver is made nervous by a pedestrian, he shall indicate the same, and the pedestrian shall hide behind a tree until the automobile tires. '.

Rule Four.-Pedestrians shall not carry in their pockets any sharp substances which are liable to cut automobile tires.

Rule Five.-In dodging automobiles, pedestrians shall not run more than seven miles an hour.

Rule Six.-Pedestrians must register at the beginning of each year and pay a license fee of $5 for the privilege of living. There shall be no rebate if they do not live through the entire year.

Rule Seven.-Pedestrians will not be allowed to emit cigarette smoke on any boulevard in an offensive or unnecessary manner.

Rule Eight.-Each pedestrian before receiving his license to walk upon a boulevard must demonstrate before an examining board his skill in dodging, leaping, crawling, and extricating himself from machinery.

Rule Nine.-Pedestrians will be held responsible for all damages done to automobiles or their occupants by collision.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781663510327
Publisher:	Barnes & Noble Press
Publication date:	05/31/2020
Pages:	42
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.10(d)

About the Author

George Fitch ( June 5, 1877 – August 9, 1915 ) was an American author, humorist, and journalist perhaps best known for his stories about fictional Siwash College. Fitch not only was a respected writer and editor, he became a nationally syndicated columnist for George Matthew Adams' news service. He was elected as a Progressive Party candidate to the Illinois House of Representatives in 1912. "At Good Old Siwash" (1911), "The automobile" (1910), "Bridge whist" (1910), "Homeburg memories" (1915), "My demon motor boat" (1912), "Petey Simmons at Siwash" (1916), "Political facts : a text-book of history ; the democratic and other parties, men and measures" (1883), and "Sizing up Uncle Sam; vestpocket essays (not especially serious) on the United States" (1914)