Publishers Weekly
10/05/2020
“We need to acknowledge and embrace our vulnerability if we are going to have challenging, important conversations about sex and consent,” explains Freitas (The Healer), a scholar and teacher, before she launches into complex topics, often considered uncomfortable, to guide readers in “build a framework” regarding relationships, identity, and consent that respects and values a diversity of experiences. Addressing the reader directly and sharing personal anecdotes, Freitas positions herself as both authority and friend. She informs readers while using herself as an example to subvert and respond to misconceptions and assumptions, including frequently conflicting messaging around religion, sexuality, and romantic and sexual relationships. Diving into topics such as relational ethics, sexual identity, stereotypes, feminism, fear, shame, and the inequalities that people of color face, Freitas offers opportunities for reflection and real-life application of the ideas discussed through journaling exercises and suggested resources, as well as messages from a variety of prominent authors to their 12-year-old selves. Though Freitas’s frequent reminders that she cares about the reader may distract, this volume actively works to affirm and explore ideas surrounding sex and consent thoughtfully and accessibly. Ages 10–up. (Sept.)
From the Publisher
"An important book"-Kirkus Reviews
"A well-considered, authoritative, and exhaustive look at a very complex subject, and it will be of interest to teens, parents, teachers, counselors, and anyone grappling with what constitutes consent." -Booklist, starred review
School Library Journal
08/01/2020
Gr 7 Up—Freitas, a professor and author of adult, young adult, and middle grade books, provides an easy-to-follow guide that explains the concept of consent. The book offers quotes, activities, and anecdotes to help teens think through "big questions" about their own sexual identity and ethical beliefs. Several chapters describe how LGBTQ+ individuals and people of color may have varied experiences of sexuality that are different from their white and/or straight peers. The text also identifies how the issues of sexual autonomy and consent impact people of different genders. Freitas cites current movements against sexual violence, including #MeToo. The tone throughout the book is informal and upbeat, offering readers a clear and engaging point of view. Freitas often notes where her work is informed by her research and where it is influenced by her personal or religious beliefs, though the distinction may not always be apparent to readers. A diverse, current list of YA and middle grade books for further reading and a bibliography are included. VERDICT A focus on philosophy, critical thinking, positive social connections, and sexual ethics makes this guide unique and valuable in a saturated field.—Madison Bishop, Forbes Lib., Northampton, MA
Kirkus Reviews
2020-05-17
A teen sex-education guide that emphasizes consent.
An author for teens and middle graders as well as a sex-education lecturer on college campuses, Freitas shapes what she’s learned from the students she works with to guide teens on their own paths as sexual beings. A lengthy, philosophical opening may lose some readers, but it starts teens thinking critically about their “relational ethic” in regard to friendships. The author then expands this framework to a “sexual ethic.” Her candid, conversational style is inclusive, recognizing both that relationships aren’t a one-size-fits-all heterosexual construct and the intersections that race, religion, and other identities add to the discussions. To create a sexual ethic, Freitas encourages teens to consider such topics as their own sexual identity, societal norms and stereotypes, and their presence on social media. These contemplations, in turn, build upon one another, culminating in a look at the nuanced nature of consent (rather than a simple yes-or-no response), how it can end sexual violence, and its relation to desire and love. Each section concludes with several questions that prompt self-reflection and journaling. The author avoids shaming readers, instead both acknowledging how some religions constrict sexual freedom and encouraging respect for personal religious choices. At odds throughout, however, are middle-grade and YA authors’ advice to their 12-year-old selves and an authorial tone more suited to complex, mature issues like vulnerability and the hookup culture of college campuses.
An important book that addresses the missing components of most sex-ed programs. (further reading, bibliography) (Nonfiction. 12-18)
