The Big Silence: A Daughter's Memoir of Mental Illness and Healing

by Karena Dawn

Overview

Quiet your mind, and the silence will help you hear your inner voice—the one that says, “Stay strong enough to forgive, to heal, and to have hope.”

In her stirring, vulnerable new memoir, Karena Dawn reveals what it was like to grow up with a mother suffering from severe mental health issues, and how, during her teenage years, she desperately tried to escape her own inner demons. Addicted to pain-numbing drugs and crippled by severe depression, Karena learned how to use grief as a teacher, releasing herself from guilt and shame and finding the inner strength to go from abandonment to forgiveness, from hopelessness to healing. 

Karena’s bold and brave memoir shows us how staying silent about mental illness only reinforces the stigma. At the heart of her story is the eternal struggle we all share—how to move past the pain and suffering of our personal battles to experience life’s joys. Through the healing power of nature, meditation, and fitness, Karena was able to forge a path to self-discovery and find peace. 

Ultimately, The Big Silence reveals how a journey of self-love can lead to a renewed sense of identity and a life filled with hope and optimism.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781954854505
Publisher:	Girl Friday Books
Publication date:	04/26/2022
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	360
File size:	2 MB

About the Author

Karena Dawn is a wellness entrepreneur, trainer, cofounder of the Tone It Up app and New York Times bestselling author of Tone It Up: Balanced and Beautiful. Her lifelong passion for fitness, mindfulness, and spiritual empowerment have made her a leader in the wellness space. While she helps others practice self-care and find positive mental health, her own journey was anything but easy.

Karena Dawn is an entrepreneur, trainer, best-selling author, and cofounder of Tone It Up, the leading fitness and lifestyle community for women. Her lifelong passion for fitness, mindfulness, and spiritual empowerment has made her a leader in the wellness space. Born and raised in Indiana and currently living in Austin, Texas, by way of California, Dawn began cultivating her spiritual practice from a young age. Meditation and movement transformed her life and helped her overcome a dark period of depression and substance abuse. Since then, she has practiced daily meditation and followed The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success for more than ten years. She is honored to speak about The Seven Spiritual Laws and how to apply them to your everyday life.  

As the cofounder of Tone It Up, Dawn empowers women around the world. Through workouts, nutrition products, and community connection, Tone It Up helps women live their healthiest and happiest lives. Most recently, Dawn created Toned Body, Toned Mind, a holistic program in the Tone It Up app that combines yoga, meditation, and self-care practices and includes many teachings she learned while studying meditation at The Chopra Center. She is the coauthor of Tone It Up: Balanced and Beautiful and the New York Times bestselling book Tone It Up: 28 Days to Fit, Fierce and Fabulous. 

Dawn has been featured in Forbes for creating a “fitness empire” and on the Create & Cultivate 100 List honoring women who are masters in their field. She has also headlined the POPSUGAR Play/Ground festival and has been a keynote speaker at the Power Up Women’s Leadership Conference. 

As a passionate advocate for mental wellness, Dawn is proud to serve on the board of advisors for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and is the founder of the mental health nonprofit The Big Silence Foundation, as well as the podcast The Big Silence. Through all her work, Dawn is dedicated to helping others feel confident, empowered, and fulfilled. 

Table of Contents

Author's Note ix

Prologue xi

"I Forgot How to Pray" xv

Part 1 Before the Sunset

Chapter 1 "Kick the Dust Off Your Shoes" 3

Chapter 2 Broken Soul 12

Chapter 3 I Am Trying … but I Am Not a Saint 23

Chapter 4 "We Don't Deal with Emotions" 31

Chapter 5 "The Hellhole of the Pacific" 36

Chapter 6 Burnt Candles 39

Chapter 7 Wild Sorrow 50

Part 2 Genesis of Family

Chapter 8 "Ya Tebe Lyublyu" 57

Chapter 9 Descent into Darkness 63

Chapter 10 When the Demons Arrive 69

Chapter 11 A Walk to the Corner Store 78

Chapter 12 When Love Goes Missing 87

Part 3 Sinner

Chapter 13 Do the Birds Still Sing in Hell? 97

Chapter 14 Dripping Blood 101

Chapter 15 Darkness and Friends 108

Chapter 16 When the Vampires Sank Their Fangs into My Soul 116

Part 4 Transition

Chapter 17 White Feather at New Age People 127

Chapter 18 Masquerade of the Wolf 131

Part 5 Homeless

Chapter 19 Turkey Run State Park 139

Chapter 20 White Tiger 148

Chapter 21 Painted Feelings 155

Chapter 22 Broken Love Pieces, Broken Heart Pieces 159

Chapter 23 The Great Pretender 166

Chapter 24 The Rave and Handcuffs 170

Chapter 25 Jane Doe 178

Chapter 26 Homecoming 186

Chapter 27 Kiss Me Goodbye 191

Part 6 California

Chapter 28 The City of Angels 201

Chapter 29 A Little Dream 208

Chapter 30 Wanderlust 212

Chapter 31 Is God Still Watching? 217

Chapter 32 The Explorer in a New Home 223

Chapter 33 The Intruder 228

Chapter 34 Mega-Big Stars at Hollywood Parties 236

Chapter 35 I Will Die if I Continue 241

Part 7 Stronger

Chapter 36 San Diego Triathlon 251

Part 8 Full Circle, The Sunset

Chapter 37 The Tone It Up Fitness Festival Tour 259

Chapter 38 The Hero's Journey 264

Epilogue 268

Lessons I Have Learned That Might Help You 275

About the Author 279

Editorial Reviews

Karena’s revealing memoir demonstrates how one can truly create a new journey with a renewed sense of identity, hope, and optimism.” – DEEPAK CHOPRA 

 “Karena’s new book is about transformation. As she struggles to cope with her mother’s mental illness, Karena learns it’s not about being perfect, but about striving each day to learn, accept, and forgive. It’s about using tools like physical movement and meditation that will improve the quality of your life. That is transformation.”—JILLIAN MICHAELS, #1 New York Times bestselling author

 “In honest and beautiful prose, Karena writes about confronting her struggles with bravery and courage, removing the stigma of mental illness and paving the way for others seeking empathy and acceptance.”—JEWEL, musician, songwriter, and New York Times bestselling author of Never Broken 

 “Your book [will] reach the hearts and souls of everyone . . .[and] inspire.”—DARLENE CORDERO, director of talent outreach at Chopra Global

From the Publisher