MARCH 2018 - AudioFile
Evan Panos is desperate to keep all of his secrets from colliding. His best friend can’t know about Evan’s massive crush on him, his parents can’t know he’s gay, and no one can find out that Evan’s mother abuses him physically and mentally. Narrator Michael Crouch excels at capturing Evan’s introspection and wry wit, which is purposefully at odds with the defensively bland version of himself that Evan presents to the world. Crouch falters somewhat when it comes to the dialogue of the adults, notably Evan’s Greek mother, whose stilted accent and awkward falsetto undercut the hidden menace of her character. Nonetheless, Crouch enhances the tension of the story as it builds to a series of explosive confrontations. N.M. © AudioFile 2018, Portland, Maine
Publishers Weekly
11/06/2017
High-school senior Evangellos “Evan” Panos, who emigrated to the U.S. from Greece at age four, lives in inner turmoil, keeping two secrets from his friends: he’s gay (which he sort of wants to reveal) and he is being abused by his violent, obsessively religious mother (which he absolutely does not want known). Surmelis’s debut novel delves deeply into Evan’s raw torment as he struggles with wanting to be openly himself and holding onto his secrets. Suspense builds as Evan’s inability to confront his strong attraction to his best friend Henry threatens that long relationship, and he grows increasingly unwilling to tolerate his volatile mother’s physical and emotional cruelty (witnessed by his loving but passive father). Evan, a gifted artist, and his father are both highly credible characters, though his mother at times seems over the top (despite a revealing backstory), and Henry and his family are a little too good to be true. Several explosive scenes bring relief from the growing tension; readers will yearn for Evan to achieve the freedom, happiness, and love he deeply desires. Ages 13–up. Agent: Kerry Sparks, Levine Greenberg Rostan. (Jan.)
From the Publisher
★ “Surmelis gives readers a protagonist to truly cheer for. A beautifully crafted story.” — School Library Journal (starred review)
“At once timely and timeless. A funny/wise/poignant triumph of a debut.” — Jennifer Niven, New York Times bestselling author of All the Bright Places
“Your heart will break and beat for Evan Panos. This is a soaring and courageous debut, unafraid to tackle the weighty subjects of faith and love.” — Jeff Zentner, award-winning author of The Serpent King
“This is a story of survival and of triumphing to become one’s authentic self. An important book that will serve as a lighthouse for gay teenagers and build empathy in all readers, no matter their backgrounds.” — Jennifer Mathieu, author of Moxie and The Truth About Alice
“Angelo Surmelis writes with unflinching honesty, wisdom, and heartbreaking grace about the struggle for self when family is one of your greatest obstacles.” — Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned
“Readers will yearn for Evan to achieve the freedom, happiness, and love he deeply desires.” — Publishers Weekly
“Another heartbreaking novel that pits religion and sexuality against each other, but with an important, culturally specific perspective.” — Kirkus Reviews
“A poignant, sometimes explosive debut.” — Booklist Previews
Jeff Zentner
Your heart will break and beat for Evan Panos. This is a soaring and courageous debut, unafraid to tackle the weighty subjects of faith and love.
Kerry Kletter
Angelo Surmelis writes with unflinching honesty, wisdom, and heartbreaking grace about the struggle for self when family is one of your greatest obstacles.
Jennifer Mathieu
This is a story of survival and of triumphing to become one’s authentic self. An important book that will serve as a lighthouse for gay teenagers and build empathy in all readers, no matter their backgrounds.
Jennifer Niven
At once timely and timeless. A funny/wise/poignant triumph of a debut.
Booklist Previews
A poignant, sometimes explosive debut.
School Library Journal
★ 11/01/2017
Gr 10 Up—Evan Panos is living in an undeniably abusive home. Some of his earliest memories are of his mother's undying rage against him. His father keeps telling him that she'll get better, but what does his father ever do to stop it? The teen lives his life one day to the next, in silence, waiting for his 18th birthday. Until his best friend Henry becomes handsome over the summer. Until the boy Evan kissed at Bible Camp comes to visit. Evan can't keep his life carefully compartmentalized if everyone refuses to stay in their own place. In this heartrendingly realistic account of a boy just trying to cope, Surmelis gives readers a protagonist to truly cheer for. The afterword reveals that most of the abuse scenes were taken directly from the author's own life. But even without that knowledge, this story will leave teens feeling the roller coaster of ups and downs Evan goes through. It is a beautifully crafted story with a realistic yet satisfying conclusion. There is one plot point that doesn't get touched on again, where the statues in the abandoned monastery Evan escapes to are possibly being moved by someone, but that is the only true criticism found of an otherwise amazing book. VERDICT A must-purchase for all libraries.—Kathryn Kania, Pelham Public Library, NH
MARCH 2018 - AudioFile
Evan Panos is desperate to keep all of his secrets from colliding. His best friend can’t know about Evan’s massive crush on him, his parents can’t know he’s gay, and no one can find out that Evan’s mother abuses him physically and mentally. Narrator Michael Crouch excels at capturing Evan’s introspection and wry wit, which is purposefully at odds with the defensively bland version of himself that Evan presents to the world. Crouch falters somewhat when it comes to the dialogue of the adults, notably Evan’s Greek mother, whose stilted accent and awkward falsetto undercut the hidden menace of her character. Nonetheless, Crouch enhances the tension of the story as it builds to a series of explosive confrontations. N.M. © AudioFile 2018, Portland, Maine
Kirkus Reviews
2017-09-26
Mother really doesn't know best in this tale of a closeted gay teen from a devout Christian household.Seventeen-year-old Evan Panos excels at conformity. His peers might notice him more if they knew his secret: during summer Bible camp, Evan kissed a boy for the first time. Evan's strict mother ensures that this "evil" secret stays obscured with prayer and physical and emotional abuse. Through art, secret trips to the nearby monastery, and one-on-ones with his dad at Dunkin' Donuts, Evan finds pockets of safety. But as his romantic feelings for his best friend, Henry, blossom, the tension between Evan and his mother escalates. Readers will wonder if it really will get better but can rest assured that hope is on the horizon. Surmelis' own-voices debut wisely uses a first-person, present-tense voice to keep readers in the moment with Evan as he lives through his trauma. Though back story adds complexity to Evan's villainous mother, she still reads as two-dimensional. In a cast of majority white, Midwestern peers, Evan's immigrant Greek family is a welcome addition—both to the story and to realistic queer fiction for teens. Readers may need tissues (or doughnuts) to make it to the end.Another heartbreaking novel that pits religion and sexuality against each other, but with an important, culturally specific perspective. (author's note, resources) (Fiction. 14-18)
