Table of Contents
Foreword 6
Cheat Sheet
An Introduction for Busy Parents and Professionals 8
Part 1 Turning Chaos into Calm
Embracing a Family Life That's Perfectly Imperfect 16
Chapter 1 "This Kid Is Really Smart, but …": Six Challenge Areas for Families with Complex Kids 18
Chapter 2 "This Is Not What I Expected": Parenting Complex Kids Is Different 30
Chapter 3 "I've Tried Everything, but Nothing Works": Understanding and Redefining Parenting Success 46
Chapter 4 "I Just Want Some Peace!": The Four Phases of Parenting 60
Part 2 The Impact Model
A New Paradigm for Parenting Like a Coach 74
Chapter 5 "Where Do I Start?": You Can Do It All, but Not at the Same Time (Take Aim) 76
Chapter 6 "Why Can't They Just …?": No One Knows Your Child Better Than You Do 88
Chapter 7 "My Kid's Just Not Motivated": How to Get Your Kids to … [Fill in the Blank] 100
Chapter 8 "Everyone's So Tense All the Time": It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It 112
Chapter 9 "I Don't Know What's Realistic": Set Appropriate Expectations and Consequences 124
Chapter 10 "I Need a Strategy for …": Creating Effective Systems and Structures That Actually Work 136
Part 3 Turning Information into Action
Making This Work in Your Life 150
Chapter 11 "They Need to Be Able to Do This on Their Own": Cultivating Ownership Gradually and Then Suddenly 152
Chapter 12 "How Do I Know if It's Working? Bringing It All Together 167
Afterword: A Letter from Elaine and Diane 178
Discussion Group Guide 180
Resources 184
Acknowledgments 186
About the Author 187
Index 188