The Everything Guide to Anger Management: Proven Techniques to Understand and Control Anger

by Robert Puff, James Seghers

Overview

Practical tools for breaking free of the cycle of anger!

Everyone gets angry once in a while, but sometimes, feelings of rage and resentment can reach unhealthy limits. If you're trying to get a handle on your anger, The Everything Guide to Anger Management can help. With practical advice for calming and controlling anger, along with a proven step-by-step plan for lasting change, this guide teaches you how to:

• Recognize emotional triggers.
• Improve self-control.
• Accept responsibility for your actions.
• Express yourself in a healthy way.
• Implement relaxation techniques.

With techniques from psychologists Puff and Seghers, you'll be able to step back; put negative emotions in the proper prospective; and begin living a happier, more fulfilling life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781440572272
Publisher:	Adams Media
Publication date:	03/18/2014
Series:	Everything?
Sold by:	SIMON & SCHUSTER
Format:	eBook
Pages:	288
File size:	872 KB

About the Author

An Adams Media author.

Table of Contents

Top Ten Telltale Signs of an Anger Problem 10

Introduction 11

01 Anger Is Important 13

This Emotional Life 14

Primary Versus Secondary Emotions 16

Anger Is a Three-Stage Process 17

Why People Get Angry 19

A Model for How People Get Angry 21

Anger Is an Embodied Experience 23

02 Anger Gone Awry 27

When Anger Becomes a Problem 28

Healthy Versus Unhealthy Anger 29

Why Are Some People Angrier Than Others? 31

Anger Styles 36

03 Anger Dangers 41

The Anger-Stress Relationship 42

Health Dangers 43

Cognitive and Psychological Dangers 48

Relationship Dangers 49

Vicious Cycles 51

04 How Anger Problems Develop 53

The Context of Human Development 54

Early Attachment 54

Talking about Emotions 56

Empathy and Emotional Coaching 56

Behavior Modeling 58

Parental Conflict 59

Parent-Child Conflict 61

Coercive Family Processes 62

Social Information Processing Deficits 64

Anger in Your Family 65

05 Deciding to Work on Your Anger 67

You Are in the Driver's Seat 68

Taking Responsibility 68

Stages of Change 70

Making the Commitment 73

Using an Intention Statement 76

06 Basic Awareness 79

Becoming Aware of Anger 80

Just Noticing 80

Using an Anger Meter 81

Triggers 83

The Context of Anger 87

Cues to Anger 87

The Aggression Cycle 91

Using an Anger Journal 94

The 3R Method: Relax, Reassess, and Respond 96

07 The 3R Method: Step 1. Relax 97

The 3R Method 98

Learn to Relax 100

Avoid Stereotypical Anger Behaviors 101

Breathing Techniques 103

Muscle Relaxation Techniques 107

Become the "Human Lightning Rod" 110

Calm Your Face 111

Use Humor 112

Distraction 114

08 The 3R Method: Step 2. Reassess 117

Accept Responsibility 118

Practice Empathy 119

Use Compassion 120

Reality Testing 122

Key Questions to Ask Yourself 125

Focus on Opposite Emotions 126

Use Anger As Impetus to Change 127

09 The 3R Method: Step 3. Respond 129

Talking It Out Helps 130

Take Action 130

Engaging with the Other Party 131

Avoid Coercive Behaviors 133

Reward Yourself 134

Handling Setbacks 135

10 Communication and Assertiveness 137

Anger and Communication 138

Active Listening 139

Empathy Responding 140

Reflective Responses 141

Assertiveness 144

The Complaint Sandwich 148

11 Why People Remain Trapped in Anger 151

Unresolved Past Issues 152

Anger, Shame, and Fear 154

The Seductiveness of Anger: Power and Control 156

Chronic Anger Is an Illusion of Power 157

Anger Addiction 159

12 Working Through Intractable Anger 163

Who Needs Anger Work? 164

On Venting and Catharsis 164

Keys to Successful Anger Work 166

How to Do Anger Work: Five Steps 167

Anger Work Methods 169

13 Compassion and Forgiveness 175

Quench Your Anger with Compassion 176

The Trouble with the Human Brain 177

Forgiveness 180

Preparing to Forgive 183

14 Going Deeper: The Role of Thinking 187

The Hidden Cause of Anger: A Case Study 188

"Not Good Enough" 189

Same Situation, Different Emotions 189

Appraisal Theory 190

Perception and Anger 195

Appraisal, Perception, and Psychotherapy: The Cognitive Revolution 196

15 Changing Distorted Thinking 199

Making Thinking Work for You 200

Challenging Irrational Ideas 200

The ABCD Model 201

What Is Rational Thinking? 204

The ABCD Model in Action 210

16 Putting Anger to Good Use 215

Not All Anger Is "Bad" 216

Healthy Anger Has Tremendous Potential for Good 217

Anger Is Information 218

Anger Is Energy 223

17 The Power of Acceptance 227

Anger Management: Acceptance Can Play a Big Part 228

What You Resist, Persists 229

The Basic Principles of Acceptance 229

The Logic of Acceptance 231

Willingness Versus Willfulness 236

Finding the Lesson 237

Connecting with Values 237

The Key Steps of Acceptance 238

18 Mindfulness and Meditation 241

Mindfulness and Anger 242

Mindfulness Meditation: Developing Awareness and Acceptance 244

Living in the Moment 244

The Scientific Studies 246

How to Meditate 248

19 Holistic Health 253

Living a Balanced Life 254

Nutrition 255

Exercise 256

Your Job 257

People in Your Life 259

Strategies for Managing Relationships 262

Time Alone 265

Finances 266

Final Thoughts 266

20 Making Change Happen 269

Approaching Self-Change 270

Genetics Versus Conditioning 271

Ten Rules of Change 272

Setting Goals 276

You Can Do This 278

Appendix: Top Ten Myths about Anger 279

Index 283