The Feminist's Guide to Raising a Little Princess: How to Raise a Girl Who's Authentic, Joyful, and Fearless--Even If She Refuses to Wear Anything but a Pink Tutu

by Devorah Blachor Narrated by Sands Xe

Overview

Devorah Blachor, an ardent feminist, never expected to be the parent of a little girl who was totally obsessed with the color pink, princesses, and all things girly. She wasn't sure how to reconcile the difference between her parental expectations and the reality of her Disney-worshiping three-year-old daughter.



Offering insight, advice, and plenty of humor and personal anecdotes, this mother shares her story of how she surrendered control and opened up-to her Princess Toddler, to pink, and to life. She addresses important issues such as how to raise a daughter in a society that pressures girls and women to conform to an unrealistic beauty ideal, and how to let her daughter feel free to be her authentic self.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

10/02/2017
Essayist Blachor cobbles together her haphazardly constructed nonfiction debut from a selection of 14 humorous and satirical essays originally published in venues such as the New York Times and the Huffington Post. Their shared theme is the quandary faced by feminist moms in the form of the hyperfeminine, hypercommercialized “princess culture” promoted to little girls by Disney and mainstream American culture in general. Ongoing sections in each chapter include “Interesting Little Princess Facts,” which highlights disturbing aspects of princess culture (such as that “Tiana is the only Disney princess with a job”), and “Femtastic Godmother,” in which traditional fairy tales are given uninspired feminist rewrites. A long final section of interviews with 16 young women and former “little princesses” is meant to reassure, but should have been winnowed down to only the most insightful answers. Blachor is not empathetic enough to give relatable parenting advice, not enough of a sociologist to delve into cultural trends, and not funny enough to have this much of her work on a fairly narrow topic presented all in one place. This collection provides a few chuckles, but overall, its potpourri of approaches to the princess problem fails to convince. Agent: Jody Kahn, Brandt & Hochman Literary Agents. (Nov.)

From the Publisher

"Blachor's The Feminist's Guide to Raising a Little Princess is a fun, informative read peppered with funny anecdotes and informative thoughts on things like the value of embracing the feminine, American optimism, and maternal healthcare. (There's also a chapter that will feel all too familiar to any parent that's ever taken their toddler to Disneyland Paris and immediately regretted it). This is a book about what it means to be a feminist and trying to raise a feminist daughter who happens to be obsessed with the color pink, frilly dresses, and also being a princess. It's also about why you can't blame Disney. Even if you really, really want to." 
– Jennifer McCartney, New York Times bestselling author of The Joy of Leaving Your Sh*t All Over the Place

“I am pro-princess and became a staunch feminist (this combo is because of, not in spite of, my feminist mother). Devorah Blachor is a staunch feminist and became pro-princess (this is because of, not in spite of, her princessy daughter.) Eventually, we both arrived at the same conclusion: the concepts are symbiotic, not mutually exclusive. In a world of toxic masculinity, knee-jerk reactions against princess culture are passé. Blachor’s humorous guide helps parents surrender to the magic and find the right balance.” 
– Jerramy Fine, author of In Defense of the Princess: How Plastic Tiaras and Fairy Tale Dreams Can Inspire Strong, Smart Women

"Devorah Blachor deftly weaves personal stories with research and clever humor in The Feminist’s Guide to Raising a Little Princess. This funny and relatable book Is perfect for any imperfect parents who find things not going according to their parenting plans."
– Julie Vick, Parenting Writer for The Washington Post "On Parenting", Parents Magazine

"I happen to be the mother of a boy, but I have many friends who are both feminists and parents of pink-obsessed girls. I wholeheartedly recommend they read Devorah Blachor's The Feminist Guide to Raising a Little Princess. It's hilarious, wise, relatable,  and insightful. I snort-laughed more than once while I read it. Before I even finished it, I started telling friends 'You have to read this book - you'll love it'."
– Janine Annett, writer for The New York Times Well Family, The Huffington Post and Parent.Co

"I adored Devorah Blachor's "The Feminist's Guide to Raising a Little Princess." It's a rare book that combines "serious" science with hilarious "opposite of serious" stories that bring the point of the "serious" science home in a completely relatable way. For feminists with pink-and-princess-obsessed preschoolers who wonder where they went wrong, Blachor reassures you that it's not you — it's them! There's hard wiring that makes your child the way she is. I wish this book had been around when my daughter was small. I'll be sharing it with friends who are mystified by the little princesses in their own lives."
– Page Barnes, Editor and Founder, The Haven

“I would call this book “adorable” if I didn’t think I’d get a punch in the nose.  “Genuinely funny”, “hilariously inventive”, and “truly insightful” work as well.  With raw honesty, cynical wit, and even scientific research, Devorah has let us into her life as a mom who loves her daughter even as she is mystified by who the hell her daughter is.  She exposes the real emotions as she competes for role-model dominance with Ariel, Cinderella, Elsa, and the whole gang of pink loving Disney princesses.  As a dad with a daughter who is constantly confusing me as well, I highly recommend this book.  Even the footnotes made me laugh out loud. Don’t miss them!“
– Gary Rudoren, Co-author of McSweeney’s Comedy By The Numbers and dad of twins.


"The struggle is real. As a fellow feminist and mother of a young daughter, I too have battled the Princess Industrial Complex, but have been beaten down by tiaras and tutus. This hilariously funny book is a guide to tackling pink-glitter-bomb-fluffiness and #winning. Best of all, Devorah Blachor's common-sense talk teaches us how to counteract harmful messages while allowing our daughters to become their own people."
– Fiona Taylor, Co-founder of The Belladonna

Product Details

BN ID:	2940170348756
Publisher:	HighBridge Company
Publication date:	11/07/2017
Edition description:	Unabridged

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1 What Is a Little Princess? My Life in Pink: The Science of Little Princesses Mari and I are pretty attached. Like, maybe to an unhealthy degree. Here’s why I think that happened: When my son, Cai, was a baby, a babysitter came a few mornings a week so I could work -part-​-time. Cai bonded with me, with his father, aka my husband, and also with the babysitter. She’s a fabulous young woman who introduced Cai to her group of fabulous friends, and they showered him with adulation and attention. Cai loved a lot of people, and a lot of people loved Cai. But when Mari came along, we had less money and by then I had no career to speak of less reason to return to work. For the first two years of Mari’s life, the largest portion of her days was spent with me and my boobs. I’m still not sure which of us she loved more. She seemed pretty happy anyway. Just before Mari turned two I had some freelancing opportunities, so we enrolled her in a -half-​-day preschool program. On her first day when the parents left, all the kids cried. On the second day, most of the kids cried. On the third day, some of the kids cried, and the following week, none of the kids cried anymore. Except for Mari. She still cried when I left her, every day, ripping my heart out with each inconsolable sob. Why was it so difficult for Mari? Maybe it was because the other toddlers lived near grandparents and relatives and were used to occasionally being without their mommies, while Mari had no such “extramaternal” experience. Or maybe it was because I was a crappy mother who’d raised an insecure emotional mess. It was probably one or the other. I considered pulling Mari out of her program and giving up the idea of returning to work. But in time she started to set-tle, though it was definitely slow going. Mari was that -kid—​-the one who’s always on the teacher’s lap in the photos they post on the preschool’s Facebook page. She needed lots of attention and love, and she got it there. For that I’m very grateful. She also started to get other ideas there. We’ll address those soon. Those were heady days. I’d drop Mari off at school and have four free hours to play around with. Man, was I elated, if elated means the same thing as insanely tired. Because Mari was also getting up very early to breastfeed. Did I forget to mention that? Mari was still breastfeeding and woke me every day at four a.m. to do it. It turned out she did like my boobs better than me. We weren’t doing it in public anymore. Mari breastfed before bedtime and naps and when she woke up, but she left my boobs alone for the rest of the day. If I had left it up to her she would have done it in public all the time, but at a certain -point—​-I can’t remember exactly when because of my -sleep-​-deprivation-​-addled -brain—​-I told her “Let’s wait until we get home” and sometime after that, “Let’s wait until bedtime.” It worked because she hadn’t yet passed the Psychotic Toddler Threshold.1 Here’s a question. When Mari was a baby, I breastfed her in public with no reservation, shame or feelings of parental inad-equacy. Once she hit toddlerhood, however, I felt uncomfortable whenever she wanted to nurse. Why is that? Why was my -naked-​-boob-​-exposure awareness heightened just because Mari was a few months older? Why did I feel judged and critiqued for comforting my toddler, but didn’t care when people disapproved of breastfeeding my baby in public? Discuss. Back to my exhaustion, which was as deep and massive as Crater Lake, but without the stunning views and the gift shop. Too tired to think about anything other than sleeping, I decided to finally wean. So there we were. Mari had just started preschool. I was trying to get her to give up the exact thing that comforted her most, and into this messed‑up vortex of toddler separation anxiety, parental guilt and extreme exhaustion, something new and strange came into our lives. Something we had never really thought about before. Something that would change our lives forever. It all started with Color Week. What’s Color Week? you say. It sounds just adorable. Color Week was that thing where all the kids in Mari’s preschool wore blue on Monday. On Tuesday, they wore yellow. On Wednesday it was red, on Thursday brown, and on Friday, all the kids dressed in either pink or -purple—​-toddler’s choice. Isn’t that a fun way to learn about colors? Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever? For the purposes of this book, I took it upon myself to research which part of the brain processes color differentiation. It’s the occipital lobe, as I’m sure you all know already. The occipital lobe is one of the four major lobes of the cerebral cortex. In other words, this is your brain on color:
(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "The Feminist's Guide to Raising a Little Princess"
by .
Copyright © 2017 Devorah Blachor.
Excerpted by permission of Penguin Publishing Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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