The Good Stuff from Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family: How to Survive and Then Thrive

by Karen Casey Narrated by Laural Merlington

Overview

Living in a dysfunctional family isn't easy. But while you can't choose where you come from, you can choose the lessons you take away.



Bestselling recovery author Karen Casey looks at stories of people who grew up in dysfunctional families and "the good stuff" that can, ironically, come from the experience. She interviews survivors who emerged from the fires of turbulent households affected by abuse, addiction, or other problems, and reveals how they came to process their often-harrowing personal trials and, against the odds, triumph over their difficulties-using skills they honed in response to their childhoods. In The Good Stuff from Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family, Casey reveals the stories and the skills they developed to live more creative and fulfilling lives, and not just survive but thrive.



"Using her interviews as groundwork, she explores the benefits that result from surviving in a dysfunctional family, including resiliency, perseverance, a sense of humor, forgiveness, kindness, and the ability to discern real love." -Publishers Weekly



"You just can't go wrong with Karen Casey." -Earnie Larson, author of Stage II Recovery

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

10/07/2013
Casey (Each Day a New Beginning), author of 26 books on addiction and recovery, theorizes that “when we grow up in a dysfunctional family, we have access to a host of benefits we otherwise might not be privy to.” A workshop facilitator for the 12-step recovery process and in recovery for 40 years herself, Casey grew up in a dysfunctional family dominated by her father’s rage. As a result, she turned to alcohol, drugs, and men. Casey describes positive traits and qualities based upon her experiences in 12-step rooms and interviews she conducted during her “small research project” with 24 interviewees who grew up in alcoholic, abusive, or otherwise dysfunctional families. Using her interviews as groundwork, she explores the benefits that result from surviving in a dysfunctional family, including resiliency, perseverance, a sense of humor, forgiveness, kindness, and the ability to discern real love. Simple but authentic points are enumerated at the conclusion of each chapter. With unrelenting optimism and a solid faith in God, Casey helps readers learn to let go of judgment and embrace acceptance. New readers as well as followers of the author’s earlier works will be uplifted by her sunny interpretation of “the good stuff.” (Nov.)

From the Publisher

What Karen found in Alcoholics Anonymous, and I found in the Course, was a path to God that wasn’t waylaid by religious dogma.”
—Marianne Williamson, NYT bestselling author of A Return to Love

“Casey’s voice is thoughtful and accessible. Readers with a belief in the power of God will be most amenable to her recommendations for a simpler, more rewarding life.”
—Publishers Weekly

“Karen Casey is a wise woman, writing more than twenty books based on her own experiences, including her long-time spiritual practices with the 12-steps and A Course in Miracles. Her writing and her speaking have affected millions of lives.”
—Jan Johnson, publisher emerita, Conari Press

“Karen Casey teaches us how to row our boat (note: not other people’s boats) gently down the stream. When we row gently, we don’t yell who or what must be on the bank around the bend. We peacefully accept what comes and this makes us very merry.”
—Hugh Prather, author of Morning Notes and The Little Book of Letting Go

“You just can’t go wrong with Karen Casey.”
—Earnie Larsen, author of Stage II Recovery: Life Beyond Addiction and From Anger to Forgiveness

“Karen Casey outlines the continuing process of practicing detachment, which ultimately means dealing with our control issues and fear. Her honesty about detachment as a lifelong process brings comfort and encouragement. And by her use of many stories about how other people―men and women alike―are finding the peace that detachment brings and her wonderful way of illuminating what detaching is and isn’t, readers will discover how to connect with their inherent powers. Thanks Karen, for writing this book and for a lifetime of dedicated service that has made this world a better place.”
―Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“A remarkable book written in easy-to-understand language with great honesty.”
―Jerry Jampolsky, MD, founder of the International Center for Attitudinal Healing

“I grew up thinking that, as an infant, I must have gotten mixed up in the hospital and sent home with the wrong family. These people could not possibly be my real parents! Eventually, I came to accept the reality of my topsy turvy homelife and that there are indeed gifts from growing up this way. I am so grateful to have read this book, which is like a silver-linings playbook for adult children. Karen Casey's appealingly honest and very wise book can be a guide to helping you discover *the good stuff.*”
―Becca Anderson, author of Badass Affirmations

Reviews

"Casey (Each Day a New Beginning), author of 26 books on addiction and recovery, theorizes that "when we grow up in a dysfunctional family, we have access to a host of benefits we otherwise might not be privy to." A workshop facilitator for the 12step recovery process and in recovery for 40 years herself, Casey grew up in a dysfunctional family dominated by her father's rage. As a result, she turned to alcohol, drugs, and men. Casey describes positive traits and qualities based upon her experiences in 12step rooms and interviews she conducted during her "small research project" with 24 interviewees who grew up in alcoholic, abusive, or otherwise dysfunctional families. Using her interviews as groundwork, she explores the benefits that result from surviving in a dysfunctional family, including resiliency, perseverance, a sense of humor, forgiveness, kindness, and the ability to discern real love. Simple but authentic points are enumerated at the conclusion of each chapter. With unrelenting optimism and a solid faith in God, Casey helps readers learn to let go of judgment and embrace acceptance. New readers as well as followers of the author's earlier works will be uplifted by her sunny interpretation of 'the good stuff.'" -Publisher's Weekly (Nov. 2013)

Product Details

BN ID:	2940191932033
Publisher:	Tantor Audio
Publication date:	08/13/2024
Edition description:	Unabridged

Read an Excerpt

Over the course of my many decades in recovery rooms, I’ve interacted with thousands of women and men whose journeys reveal, in detail, the harrowing history of dysfunction that has troubled their lives. Listening to their accounts, and being witness to these painful and difficult struggles, I’ve often been amazed by the speakers themselves—at their openness, resilience, sense of humor, courage, and most of all their eventual and quite triumphant survival, often against extreme odds. For many years I’ve been fascinated by the idea that when we grow up in a dysfunctional family, we have access to a host of benefits we otherwise might not be privy to. This is rarely spoken of or written about, I think partly because it seems strange for us to think of abuse and neglect offering any kind of potential value in our lives. But those of us who have grown up in dysfunctional families know that this upbringing has served us with special gifts, and that each challenge comes with new opportunities. The very dysfunction these people lived through taught them—sometimes in reacting against it, sometimes in discovering the whys and wherefores of it—survival skills for life beyond dysfunction. They found that there are, in fact, many silver linings, maybe even nuggets of gold.

In writing this book, I set out with this assignment, one I’m certain I have been “called” to do: to interview more than two dozen men and women, to listen deeply to their stories and tease out their unique traits and perspectives. Did you know that to interview means simply “to see each other?” I wanted to see these people clearly, and to share with you a detailed description of twelve positive characteristics that are ready to be born in you and then become honed, just as they were in the people from these dysfunctional families.

These twelve traits open the door to successful living. The stories I have selected from among the many I heard clearly demonstrate what is really possible when a person not only rises to the occasion to change and grow, but exceeds all expectations in a family that could have doomed him or her to failure.

As I observed these journeys, those I saw up close and those, too, from afar, I saw that they were all astounding in one way or another, which might be said, really, about the path each of us takes. I was afforded many aha! moments as I noted the specific tools that these people mastered and the positive qualities that they developed along the way. In my conversations, I came to truly appreciate the gifts that we are given, even in those very circumstances that look so bleak to those who watch from outside the family circle.

The act of listening is a gift we can always offer another soul sharing our path. My role with those I interviewed was so intimate, really, as they revealed who they were, what happened, and who they are now. In every instance, what had been a downward spiraling life became an example of miraculous survival, offering proof to others that nothing has to defeat us. Through this process, I grew in my appreciation of the importance of both storytelling and being a witness to the story. The exchangemoves us, connects us, allowing us to see our own lives with greater clarity, understanding, and openness. We are moved, too, to make some of the changes we see in the stories of others.

We often read and hear the “poor me” stories of those who are certain they were given a bum ride in this life. All we have to do is turn on daytime television, Dr. Phil, or reality shows for the anecdotes to support this assessment. But I have come to believe, and believe unequivocally, that we choose the ride we are on, one experience after another. We are not victims. We are volunteers. And that knowledge has made all the difference in the world to me. Suffice it to say that many will always live in the world of “poor me.” That’s where they feel most at ease. Without a doubt, they selected this journey, whether they realize it or not, and our observation of their journey surely informs the rest of us in a most interesting way, if we are open to the education.

Generally speaking, I think, those sad individuals hope to find others who will commiserate—who will say, “Of course you have every good reason to feel bad. You didn’t deserve this set of experiences.” And they often do find someone who will commiserate. Misery loves company. Uncomfortably, I admit I used to be that person. Perhaps it was a necessary part of my journey then. But no more. I think we learn from the mistakes as well as the wisdom of others; I have learned from mine along with all of those individuals I interviewed. What I hope to impart in this book is some of both, with an emphasis on the wisdom.