The Heart Is a Shifting Sea: Love and Marriage in Mumbai

by Elizabeth Flock

Overview

Winner of the Silver Nautilus Award for Journalism & Investigative Reporting

"A book that truly is impossible to put down.”—Washington Post

"This remarkable debut is so deeply reported, elegantly written, and profoundly transporting that it reads like a novel you can’t put down. It’s both a nuanced and intimate evocation of Indian culture, and a provocative and exciting meditation on marriage itself."—Katie Roiphe, author of The Violet Hour

In the vein of Behind the Beautiful Forevers, an intimate, deeply reported and revelatory examination of love, marriage, and the state of modern India—as witnessed through the lives of three very different couples in today’s Mumbai.

In twenty-first-century India, tradition is colliding with Western culture, a clash that touches the lives of everyday Indians from the wealthiest to the poorest. While ethnicity, class, and religion are influencing the nation’s development, so too are pop culture and technology—an uneasy fusion whose impact is most evident in the institution of marriage.

The Heart Is a Shifting Sea introduces three couples whose relationships illuminate these sweeping cultural shifts in dramatic ways: Veer and Maya, a forward-thinking professional couple whose union is tested by Maya’s desire for independence; Shahzad and Sabeena, whose desperation for a child becomes entwined with the changing face of Islam; and Ashok and Parvati, whose arranged marriage, made possible by an online matchmaker, blossoms into true love. Though these three middle-class couples are at different stages in their lives and come from diverse religious backgrounds, their stories build on one another to present a layered, nuanced, and fascinating mosaic of the universal challenges, possibilities, and promise of matrimony in its present state.

Elizabeth Flock has observed the evolving state of India from inside Mumbai, its largest metropolis. She spent close to a decade getting to know these couples—listening to their stories and living in their homes, where she was privy to countless moments of marital joy, inevitable frustration, dramatic upheaval, and whispered confessions and secrets. The result is a phenomenal feat of reportage that is both an enthralling portrait of a nation in the midst of transition and an unforgettable look at the universal mysteries of love and marriage that connect us all.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062456496
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	02/05/2019
Pages:	400
Product dimensions:	5.20(w) x 7.50(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

ELIZABETH FLOCK is an Emmy Award–winning journalist whose work has been featured in The New Yorker, the New York Times, and The Atlantic, and on PBS NewsHour and Netflix, among other outlets. She is the host of Blind Plea, a podcast from Lemonada Media about criminalized survival. Her reporting is supported by the Pulitzer Center, PEN America, and the International Women’s Media Foundation. Her first book, The Heart Is a Shifting Sea, won a Nautilus Book Award for books that inspire and make a difference. She lives in Chicago.

Table of Contents

Author's Note xi

Map of India xvii

Map of Mumbai xix

Cast of Characters xxi

Prologue: Mumbai, 2014 1

Devotion: Maya and Veer, 1999 to 2009 13

Produce a Child, and God Smiles: Shahzad and Sabeena, 1983 to 1998 57

A Suitable Match: Ashok and Parvati, 2009 to 2013 101

Illusions: Maya and Veer, 2010 to 2014 145

Fire in the Heart: Shahzad and Sabeena, 1999 to 2013 185

Sky watching: Ashok and Parvati, 2013 to 2014 223

In Time: Maya and Veer, 2014 to 2015 259

Moving House: Shahzad and Sabeena, 2014 to 2013 291

The Family Line: Ashok and Parvati, 2014 to 2013 325

Epilogue: Mumbai, 2013 345

Acknowledgments 355

References 357

Editorial Reviews

The book not only charts the winding course of three marriages in one of the world’s largest and fastest growing metropolises, but also provides a detailed portrayal of a rapidly changing India. Flock’s telling of these six middle-class lives is deeply sympathetic but unsentimental.” — NPR

“Fascinating.” — People

“Flock writes about her subjects with omniscient authority.... Distilling large swaths of culture and history into brief, well-deployed asides, she keeps her focus on the couples themselves. It’s a good strategy. What’s extraordinary about The Heart Is a Shifting Sea is the apparent ease with which Flock has unlocked these marriages.” — New York Times Book Review

“The book not only charts the winding course of three marriages in one of the world’s largest and fastest growing metropolises, but also provides a detailed portrayal of a rapidly changing India. Flock’s telling of these six middle-class lives is deeply sympathetic but unsentimental.” — Vogue

“In The Heart is a Shifting Sea, Flock seeks to understand the evolution of Indian marriage.... What unfolds is a book that truly is impossible to put down.” — Washington Post

“People come together, grow apart, struggle to hold on to love and family. It’s an old story, of course, but a new book offers an unusually intimate focus in a place where tradition is colliding with 21st century global culture, Mumbai, India.” — PBS Newshour

“In the mode of Katherine Boo and Adrian Nicole LeBlanc, Flock absents herself from the narrative, allowing us to enter the lives of her subjects and witness moments of almost unbearable intimacy.... A small armada of books have explored the aspirations of India’s booming middle class....What distinguishes Flock’s take is her interest in and access to the inner lives of married women who face particular constraints.” — New York Times

“Among the book’s many strengths, Flock abstains from generalizing about India or Indian marriages. Instead, she nimbly captures the interiority of her subjects.... Although they are imperfect people in imperfect marriages, in these resplendent passages, their humanity shines through.” — Minneapolis Star Tribune

“While this book is a nonfiction look at love, marriage and shifting cultural norms in Mumbai, specifically tracking three married couples through a span of about a decade, it reads like a novel. Thoroughly researched, it’s also haunting and lovely. You’ll find yourself strangely riveted as you follow the lives of each couple.” — New York Post, “This Week’s Must-Read Books”

“Elizabeth Flock takes us on an intimate cruise on the shifting sea of the heart, in the best book set in Bombay that I’ve read in years. Flock’s total access to her characters, and her highly sympathetic and nonjudgemental gaze, prove that love and literature know no borders. Easily the most intimate account of India that I’ve read, and of value to anybody that believes in love and marriage.”  — Suketu Mehta, author of Maximum City

“An intimate portrait of three marriages.... Because Flock goes deep, rather than broad... she makes readers feel as though they are peering through a window into these couples’ lives.... Flock writes about... sensitive topics with generosity and empathy in this beautifully rendered, intricate, and human exploration of love and marriage.” — Library Journal

“The Heart is a Shifting Sea is an intimate look at life in India, yet its intricately reported, novelistic portraits of marriage will resonate regardless of where you live. This book will keep you up reading deep into the night; it will make you ignore your loved ones, shirk your responsibilities. It is that good.” — Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex

“The hearts that Flock excavates in forensic detail are not just those of the individuals, but of a country as it reimagines itself.” — BookForum

“Journalist Flock invites readers into the homes, lives, and marriages of three couples… living in Mumbai in this multifaceted portrait of love and marriage in modern India.... Flock approaches the histories, hopes, dreams, and disappointments of her middle- and upper-middle-class couples as a reporter, not a storyteller, and the book is better for it, steering clear of caricature and sentiment, and letting each of her subjects emerge in the details of his or her own circumstances.... Flock’s book also provides a vivid portrait of a nation in transition.” — Publishers Weekly, starred review

“Absorbing, candid.... An eye-opening exploration of how tradition and star-studded dreams shape love in modern India.” — Kirkus

“An impressive feat of reporting.... These three marriages, without the Bollywood polish, offer an unforgettable look at both the risks and rewards of real-life romance.” — Booklist

“Elizabeth Flock has invented a new way of telling a love story. It’s part journalism, part true fable, and it takes you deep inside a country. Whatever it is, I couldn’t stop reading it.” — Pamela Druckerman, author of Bringing Up Bébé

“This remarkable debut is so deeply reported, elegantly written and profoundly transporting that it reads like a novel you can’t put down. It’s both a nuanced and intimate evocation of Indian culture, and a provocative and exciting meditation on marriage itself.” — Katie Roiphe, author of The Violet Hour

From the Publisher

While this book is a nonfiction look at love, marriage and shifting cultural norms in Mumbai, specifically tracking three married couples through a span of about a decade, it reads like a novel. Thoroughly researched, it’s also haunting and lovely. You’ll find yourself strangely riveted as you follow the lives of each couple.

New York Post

The book not only charts the winding course of three marriages in one of the world’s largest and fastest growing metropolises, but also provides a detailed portrayal of a rapidly changing India. Flock’s telling of these six middle-class lives is deeply sympathetic but unsentimental.

NPR

The book not only charts the winding course of three marriages in one of the world’s largest and fastest growing metropolises, but also provides a detailed portrayal of a rapidly changing India. Flock’s telling of these six middle-class lives is deeply sympathetic but unsentimental.

Vogue

“The Heart is a Shifting Sea is an intimate look at life in India, yet its intricately reported, novelistic portraits of marriage will resonate regardless of where you live. This book will keep you up reading deep into the night; it will make you ignore your loved ones, shirk your responsibilities. It is that good.

Peggy Orenstein

Elizabeth Flock takes us on an intimate cruise on the shifting sea of the heart, in the best book set in Bombay that I’ve read in years. Flock’s total access to her characters, and her highly sympathetic and nonjudgemental gaze, prove that love and literature know no borders. Easily the most intimate account of India that I’ve read, and of value to anybody that believes in love and marriage.” 

Suketu Mehta

For readers who love real-life love stories that are complicated, messy, and ultimately illuminating, then there’s no better book to pick up this winter.

Bookish

This remarkable debut is so deeply reported, elegantly written and profoundly transporting that it reads like a novel you can’t put down. It’s both a nuanced and intimate evocation of Indian culture, and a provocative and exciting meditation on marriage itself.

Katie Roiphe

An impressive feat of reporting.... These three marriages, without the Bollywood polish, offer an unforgettable look at both the risks and rewards of real-life romance.

Booklist

In The Heart is a Shifting Sea, Flock seeks to understand the evolution of Indian marriage.... What unfolds is a book that truly is impossible to put down.

Washington Post

In the mode of Katherine Boo and Adrian Nicole LeBlanc, Flock absents herself from the narrative, allowing us to enter the lives of her subjects and witness moments of almost unbearable intimacy. Every agony of adulthood is presented with startling frankness—every miscarriage, every stupid investment, every sexual insecurity. The couples turned over their entire lives to the author; we can sift through their diary fragments, their text messages with their lovers, their bitter Gchats with their spouses…Aside from the voyeuristic pleasures (which are substantial), we get a sense of entering the consciousness of each character…A small armada of books have explored the aspirations of India's booming middle class…What distinguishes Flock's take is her interest in and access to the inner lives of married women who face particular constraints…

The New York Times - Parul Sehgal

…on balance, Flock is a careful, diplomatic interpreter of modern Indian life. Distilling large swaths of culture and history into brief, well-deployed asides, she keeps her focus on the couples themselves. It's a good strategy. What's extraordinary about The Heart Is a Shifting Sea is the apparent ease with which Flock has unlocked these marriages. The reader is taken into the heart of their domestic lives, and allowed to linger as Flock gently excavates the childhood superstitions, religious beliefs and political upheavals that have left a mark on these particular unions. The result is deeply engrossing.

The New York Times Book Review - Mythili G. Rao

★ 10/09/2017
Journalist Flock invites readers into the homes, lives, and marriages of three couples—one Marwari Hindu, one Sunni Muslim, and one Tamil Brahmin Hindu—living in Mumbai in this multifaceted portrait of love and marriage in modern India. Layered with history and glimpses of the varied cultures compressed into one vivacious city, the book pays as much attention to the lives of its subjects as it does to that which binds them together: the rituals of courtship and intricacies of marriage law, religious observances and festivals, and changing conventions that are seeing more couples choosing to live apart from their families and more women choosing to work outside of the home. Flock finds people trying to find happiness within the slipknot of tradition, longing for film-style romance within their arranged marriages, and searching peace with their lives inside a city and a country undergoing rapid population growth, Western influence, and rising far-right sentiment. There’s Ashok and Parvati, who get to know one another while planning a wedding (their courtship was arranged by their parents using an online matchmaking service); Shazhad and Sabeena, whose failure to conceive leads them to a more liberal practice of Islam (Sunni law doesn’t recognize adoption); and Maya and Veer, career-oriented individuals who deal with infidelity and Maya’s need for independence. Flock approaches the histories, hopes, dreams, and disappointments of her middle- and upper-middle-class couples as a reporter, not a storyteller, and the book is better for it, steering clear of caricature and sentiment, and letting each of her subjects emerge in the details of his or her own circumstances. Ostensibly a study of marriage as experienced by the people in it, Flock’s book also provides a vivid portrait of a nation in transition, through the lives and desires of its most progressive city’s residents. (Feb.)

Publishers Weekly

In The Heart is a Shifting Sea, Flock seeks to understand the evolution of Indian marriage.... What unfolds is a book that truly is impossible to put down.

Washington Post

People come together, grow apart, struggle to hold on to love and family. It’s an old story, of course, but a new book offers an unusually intimate focus in a place where tradition is colliding with 21st century global culture, Mumbai, India.

PBS Newshour

Fascinating.

People

Among the book’s many strengths, Flock abstains from generalizing about India or Indian marriages. Instead, she nimbly captures the interiority of her subjects.... Although they are imperfect people in imperfect marriages, in these resplendent passages, their humanity shines through.

Minneapolis Star Tribune

Elizabeth Flock has invented a new way of telling a love story. It’s part journalism, part true fable, and it takes you deep inside a country. Whatever it is, I couldn’t stop reading it.

Pamela Druckerman

The hearts that Flock excavates in forensic detail are not just those of the individuals, but of a country as it reimagines itself.

BookForum

While this book is a nonfiction look at love, marriage and shifting cultural norms in Mumbai, specifically tracking three married couples through a span of about a decade, it reads like a novel. Thoroughly researched, it’s also haunting and lovely. You’ll find yourself strangely riveted as you follow the lives of each couple.

New York Post

An impressive feat of reporting.... These three marriages, without the Bollywood polish, offer an unforgettable look at both the risks and rewards of real-life romance.

Booklist

In the mode of Katherine Boo and Adrian Nicole LeBlanc, Flock absents herself from the narrative, allowing us to enter the lives of her subjects and witness moments of almost unbearable intimacy.... A small armada of books have explored the aspirations of India’s booming middle class....What distinguishes Flock’s take is her interest in and access to the inner lives of married women who face particular constraints.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

New York Times

Like Katharine Boo ... Flock writes about her subjects with omniscient authority.... Distilling large swaths of culture and history into brief, well-deployed asides, she keeps her focus on the couples themselves. It’s a good strategy. What’s extraordinary about The Heart Is a Shifting Sea is the apparent ease with which Flock has unlocked these marriages. The reader is taken into the heart of their domestic lives, and allowed to linger as Flock gently excavates the childhood superstitions, religious beliefs and political upheavals that have left a mark on these particular unions. The result is deeply engrossing.

New York Times Book Review

The book not only charts the winding course of three marriages in one of the world’s largest and fastest growing metropolises, but also provides a detailed portrayal of a rapidly changing India. Flock’s telling of these six middle-class lives is deeply sympathetic but unsentimental.

NPR.org