The Highly Sensitive Man: How Mastering Natural Insticts, Ethics, and Empathy Can Enrich Men's Lives and the Lives of Those Who Love Them

by Tom Falkenstein

Overview

Although high sensitivity affects both men and women equally, being a highly sensitive man comes with unique challenges. Working closely with Dr. Elaine Aron - the originator of The Highly Sensitive Person—cognitive behavioral psychotherapist Tom Falkenstein offers the only book written specifically for highly sensitive men and those who love them.

Bestselling classic and global phenomenon The Highly Sensitive Person has helped millions of people around the world. Now Elaine Aron's colleague offers help and hope for men with high sensitivity and the unique problems they face.

Highly sensitive people think deeply, empathize instinctively, and tend to behave in an ethical way that benefits everyone. Today, with the negative effects of "toxic masculinity" and aggressive behavior in evidence all around us, we need highly sensitive people—especially men—more than ever. Yet for men in particular, being highly sensitive brings distinct challenges, such as gender stereotypes that portray them as too emotional or not "manly" enough.

Cognitive behavioral psychotherapist Tom Falkenstein offers the first psychological guide that specifically addresses highly sensitive men and those who care about them, and explores the unique advantages and obstacles they face. Drawing from his training with pioneer in the field Dr. Elaine Aron, and his own groundbreaking work, Falkenstein incorporates the most up-to-date research on high sensitivity—what it is and isn't—how it relates to male identity, and provides one-of-a-kind advice and practical tools.

Including an illuminating conversation with Dr. Aron, The Highly Sensitive Man is an invaluable book that will help redefine masculinity and reveal how high sensitivity can enrich men's lives, their communities, and the lives of those who love them.

"A book that cracks open the conversation about how men can blend their strength, sensitivity and unique gifts into a more modern and whole definition of what it is to be a man."
—Alanis Morissette, singer, songwriter, activist

"Rooted in the rigorous science of sensory processing sensitivity . . . provides numerous ways we can grow into our own skins."
—Tracy Cooper, PhD, author of Thrill!: The High Sensation Seeking Highly Sensitive Person

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780806539331
Publisher:	Kensington
Publication date:	04/28/2020
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	584,898
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

TOM FALKENSTEIN has worked in the mental health sector since 1999 and as a cognitive behavioral psychotherapist since 2006. After obtaining his degree in psychology at the University of Glasgow, he completed his five-year postgraduate training in psychotherapy in Berlin. He then moved back to the UK where he worked as a psychotherapist in London. During this period, he developed a particular interest in high sensitivity and working with highly sensitive people. He has been training with Dr. Elaine Aron (author of The Highly Sensitive Person) since 2015 and has founded the European Centre for High Sensitivity (www.hsp-eu.com). Currently practicing in Berlin, he also offers consultations for highly sensitive people in both English and German. The Highly Sensitive Man is his first book and was published in Germany by Junfermann in September 2017. It has been translated into a number of other languages.

Table of Contents

Foreword Elaine Aron xi

Introduction 1

Part I The Phenomenon of High Sensitivity

1 A Turning Point in Masculinity: The Importance of Highly Sensitive Men in Society 11

2 Understanding High Sensitivity: The Scientific Background and Why People Differ in Their Innate Sensitivity 28

3 Identifying High Sensitivity: Am I Highly Sensitive? 47

4 Everyday Effects of High Sensitivity and How It Differs from Psychological Disorders 73

Part II Living (Well) as a Highly Sensitive Man

5 Strategies to Deal With Overstimulation and Intense Emotions: What Emotional Regulation Is and Why It Matters for Highly Sensitive Men 93

6 Strategies to Deal With Overstimulation and Intense Emotions: Mindfulness and Acceptance 115

7 Strategies to Deal With Overstimulation and Intense Emotions: Relaxation and Imagery Exercises 143

8 Your Relationship with Yourself: How Do You Relate to Your High Sensitivity? 166

9 Self-Worth and Self-Care for Highly Sensitive Men 189

10 Conclusions 219

Appendix: A Conversation with Elaine Aron About Highly Sensitive Men 221

Endnotes 237

Acknowledgments 247

Index 249

Editorial Reviews

PRAISE FOR THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE MAN

“Tom Falkenstein’s outstanding book contains a thorough review of all the relevant scientific studies and literature, many innovative and new techniques for the highly sensitive man to cope with overstimulation, fascinating stories by sensitive men and practical tips to increase their self-worth and self-acceptance. This book is a masterpiece that every sensitive man should read.”
—Ted Zeff, Ph.D., author of The Strong Sensitive Boy, The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide and The Power of Sensitivity
 
“A book that all highly sensitive people should read!  Carefully and meticulously crafted . . . rooted in the rigorous science of sensory processing sensitivity . . . provides numerous ways we can grow into our own skins as people who experience the world slightly differently.  A powerful and ennobling addition to every highly sensitive person’s library!”
—Tracy Cooper, Ph.D., author of Thrill: The High Sensation of Seeking Highly Sensitive Person

“This book not only shows why highly sensitive men are particularly suffering in the current masculinity crisis, but also why they have exactly the right qualities to turn this crisis into an opportunity. It’s an important book that relieves the pressure of being a highly sensitive man and offers practical tools to the reader. Thank you, Tom Falkenstein.”
—Georg Parlow, author of Highly Sensitive
 
“Tom Falkenstein’s book is characterized by a clear, precise and practical style. It’s a unique and encouraging book for all of those men who want to understand and use their sensitive temperament better”.
—Brigitte Schorr, author of Highly Sensitive in Relationships
 
“High sensitivity is a fascinating and increasingly popular topic. Tom Falkenstein’s book about highly sensitive men is an important addition to this relatively new field. The scientific foundation and the countless practical tips and techniques that this book offers will help men and women to understand their high sensitivity better and to live well with it.”
—Dr. Michael Pluess, Queen Mary University of London
 
“Finally! A professionally grounded and thoroughly researched book specifically for highly sensitive men. The book engages deeply with masculinity and sensitivity and will help to strengthen the self-worth of highly sensitive men who feel insecure. The book powerfully motivates men to accept and use their sensitivity well. It’s an important addition to the empowerment of highly sensitive men.”
—Ulrike Hensel, author of Understanding and Appreciating High Sensitivity
 
“Tom Falkenstein's book stands out among the numerous current publications on high sensitivity. He presents a well-founded and substantiated introduction to the academic literature on the topic, complemented by vivid case studies. In the second part of the book, he makes many useful suggestions on how highly sensitive people can use strategies based on mindfulness, visualization, and self-compassion to increase their well-being. A truly inspiring book – for anyone who identifies as highly sensitive.”
—Prof. Dr. Margrit Schreier, Jacobs University Bremen

"The integrating of the knowledge in this book would allow for a complete cultural sea change around what it is to be a man."   
—Alanis Morissette 

"The Highly Sensitive Man is an enlightening, vital work. It asserts, proudly, that there is more than one way to be a man, and lays a path towards a future that is brighter, kinder, and more open-minded. In these fractured times, the world needs highly sensitive men not to shy away from who they are, but to embrace it, for it is surely an asset to humanity. In Falkenstein's writing I found myself finally able to put a name to thoughts and feelings I've had for much of my life - and what a delight it is to feel so deeply understood."
—Jack Urwin, author of Man Up: Surviving Modern Masculinity

From the Publisher