Table of Contents
Introduction 1
The ministry and me 3
'Only God can judge me' 9
Delusions of competence 16
Felix 22
A floater 27
'Jesus, has anyone got a fag?' 32
Icians and Ologists 37
'You'll do' 42
The liver queen 47
'Is there anything to be said for another mass?' 51
Tracey 56
'The bastards always do well' 61
Smoking is good for you 66
Resentful prisoner 69
'Like a greasy dog' 74
The seven sins of medicine 77
Shit transplant 84
Maurice. 89
A long lie 93
Dr Jack's 'Rap R' 98
'They'll bugger off elsewhere' 103
Mr Wolfe 107
'I provide strictly spiritual services' 114
A stranger in a strange land 119
'The team are an absolute disgrace' 123
'They usually put them under general medicine when they die in resus' 127
'There's a lot of it about' 131
'…it is high time that Mr Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or die' 135
'The valves of Haustra?' 140
'These things happen' 144
A safety huddle 148
A random act of kindness 152
A secret 156
The talker 160
A Festschrift 164
Schwartz 168
'A mental and physical wreck!' 172
'Very big person in medicine, yes?' 175
'No regrets?' 179
'There's the dead, and the dead dead' 183
Taking to the bed 186
My inner child 191
The man they couldn't hang 194
'It just pays the bills' 197
'Welcome, Sister Death' 200
'Fucking way!' 204
'Round early and round a second time' 208
'What do I do now?' 214
The pianist 218
Andrea Pirlo's rich chestnut hair 221
'That's what "abnormal" means' 228
'There's nothing like a difficult patient to show us ourselves' 232
All I want for Christmas 237
'Thank you for your expertise, Professor' 240
Diogenes 244
A try storm 248
'My visits here are largely ceremonial' 253
A good death 257
The Garden of Earthly Delights 262
'Last night was the first time I cried' 266
'There was a brave doctor in Perth' 270
The man on the phone 274
What would Barry Marshall say? 278
'Could it be nerves?' 283
'What's the story with this virus?' 287
Epilogue 291
