Read an Excerpt
Chapter 3
Every Friday after school since the beginning of sixth grade, Addie, Joe, Skeezie, and I have gathered at the Candy Kitchen, last booth on the right -- the one with the aforementioned torn red leatherette seats -- to discuss important issues and eat ice cream. We call this the Forum. Due to the change in my employment status, we canned holding the Forum on a specific day of the week and decided we'd have it whenever we felt like it. The Friday Forum became the Floating Forum.
The minutes of the First Floating Forum of the Seventh-Grade Year are as follows:
Addie: Today's topic for discussion is "Liberty and Justice for All."
Skeezie: Do you have to write down every single word?
Addie: Talk more slowly, please.
Skeezie: Geesh.
Addie: Well, I guess we all know what happened in Ms. Wyman's homeroom class this morning.
Joe: You told us at lunch.
Skeezie: It is all you talked about at lunch.
Joe: Wait a minute, did you write my name down as Joe?
Addie: That is your name, the last I heard.
Joe: Not anymore. Now it's Scorpio.
Skeezie: Scorpio?!
Joe: You should talk, with a name like Skeezie.
Bobby: What happened to Jodan?
Joe: Oh, that putting-my-first-and-middle-names-together thing? That is sooo last week. I like Scorpio. It has, oh, I don't know, energy.
Skeezie: How about Plunger?
Joe: Plunger?
Skeezie: Yeah, like in toilet plunger. You get one of those things working, man, talk about energy.
Joe: Wait a minute, I think I hear someone laughing. Oops, my mistake, that was someone gagging in the next booth.
Skeezie: Ha.
Addie: Excuse me, could we get back to the topic?
Joe: Could you write my name as Scorpio?
Addie: Okay, fine.
Scorpio: Thank you.
Addie: You're welcome. Now, what I want to know is if you guys think there is liberty and justice for all in this country.
Scorpio: No way.
Bobby: Well, I think what the Pledge of Allegiance is about is idealism. You know, like, what we aim for.
Addie: But that's not what is says. It says promise.
Bobby: Where? It doesn't say that word.
Addie: Well, pledge, promise, same thing. The point is --
Scorpio: The point is there's no way there is freedom and justice for everybody in this country. It's, well, I don't mean it's like a total, you know, a totalism kind of thing, whatever it's called.
Addie: Totalitarianism.
Scorpio: Yeah, that. I mean, it's not like we've got some dictator guy telling everybody they have to, I don't know, like, wear polyester all the time or something grotesque like that.
Skeezie: Oh, yeah, there's a fate worse than death. Synthetics.
Addie: I think we're getting a little off the --
Bobby: It's cool that you're not saying the Pledge, Addie, I mean it's cool that you're standing up for your principles and all, but --
Addie: Thank you.
Bobby: But what difference does it make? I mean, just because you sit there and don't say the words with everybody else, that's not going to help some poor guy hundreds of miles downstate in New York City who gets beaten up just because he's black or poor or something.
Addie: I contend that it does make a difference.
Skeezie: Oo, she contends. Where's our food, if you don't mind my asking?
Addie: Yes, I contend that every act of conscience makes a difference.
Skeezie: But you're talking about New York City. We don't have the same kinds of problems here.
Scorpio: Hello. Are you kidding? Of course we do.
Addie: Just on a smaller scale. It's important to bring attention --
Bobby: My dad says it's better just to get along, not make waves. He says bringing attention can be a dangerous thing.
Addie: Of course it can! Just look at Abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King or...or...
Scorpio: Madonna. Or RuPaul.
Addie: I don't think they're in quite the same league, Joe. I mean, Scorpio.
Scorpio: They bring attention! They're like, "In your face, world! Look at me! This is who I am and if you don't like it, stuff it! I'm as good as anybody else!"
Skeezie: Tell it!
Bobby: Whatever. The thing is, Ms. Wyman is not going to let you not say the Pledge, Addie, so what is the point?
Addie: Excuse me? I do not believe Ms. Wyman has the right to tell me what I can and cannot say. Have you never heard of the First Amendment?
Skeezie: Has that bozo who took our order never heard of first come, first served? Did you see that? He just gave them their food and they came in here after we did!
Bobby: Maybe they're friends of his.
Skeezie: There you are, Addie, a perfect example of how there's no liberty and justice for all. In a just world, I'd be slurping my Dr Pepper by now and instead I'm sitting here parched and deprived because Mr. HellomynameisAdam is giving preferential treatment to his friends. Justice, I say! Justice!
Addie: Skeezie, stop pounding on the table. You're making a scene.
Skeezie: Justice! Justice!
Bobby: I thought you wanted to bring attention, Addie.
Addie: There's bringing attention and then there's bringing attention. I mean, a little kid throwing a tantrum in public is bringing attention and that's closer to what Skeezie's doing right now than my standing up for --
Scorpio: I was just thinking. RuPaul. I really like the sound of that. I think I'm going to be Jodan again. Except I'll make the "D" capital, so you have to, like, emphasize the second syllable, you know? Jo-Dan.
Addie: What are you talking about?
Scorpio: No, no, don't write Scorpio, write...
Addie: Oh, I get it. Okay.
JoDan: Yeah, like that. That's cool.
Skeezie: I thought that was so last week.
JoDan: With a small "d." That was so last week.
Skeezie: Right, whatever.
Addie: So about liberty and justice for --
Skeezie: All right! Here's our food. See, a little protest'll work every time. You were right, Addie! It pays to act on your conscience. Hey, I learned something today. These Forums are way cool. Hey, hey, wait a minute.
HellomynameisAdam: What's wrong?
Skeezie: This Dr Pepper is flat, my man. You gotta get me another.
HellomynameisAdam: Look...
Skeezie: Justice! Justice!
HellomynameisAdam: All right, all right. Just cool your jets, will you?
Skeezie: Peace, brother.
We do not record the rest of the proceedings, since we never do get back on the topic. If I recall correctly, we spend the rest of our time at the Candy Kitchen that Monday talking about who are the meanest teachers in seventh grade and who are the best. Ms. Wyman scores points in both categories.
Copyright © 2001 by James Howe