Mixed feelings about motherhood—uncertainty over having a child, fears of pregnancy and childbirth, or negative thoughts about one’s own children—are not just hard to discuss, they are a powerful social taboo. In this beautifully written book, Barbara Almond brings this troubling issue to light. She uncovers the roots of ambivalence, tells how it manifests in lives of women and their children, and describes a spectrum of maternal behavior—from normal feelings to highly disturbed mothering. In a society where perfection in parenting is the unattainable ideal, this compassionate book also shows how women can affect positive change in their lives.
1100296471
The Monster Within: The Hidden Side of Motherhood
Mixed feelings about motherhood—uncertainty over having a child, fears of pregnancy and childbirth, or negative thoughts about one’s own children—are not just hard to discuss, they are a powerful social taboo. In this beautifully written book, Barbara Almond brings this troubling issue to light. She uncovers the roots of ambivalence, tells how it manifests in lives of women and their children, and describes a spectrum of maternal behavior—from normal feelings to highly disturbed mothering. In a society where perfection in parenting is the unattainable ideal, this compassionate book also shows how women can affect positive change in their lives.
Mixed feelings about motherhood—uncertainty over having a child, fears of pregnancy and childbirth, or negative thoughts about one’s own children—are not just hard to discuss, they are a powerful social taboo. In this beautifully written book, Barbara Almond brings this troubling issue to light. She uncovers the roots of ambivalence, tells how it manifests in lives of women and their children, and describes a spectrum of maternal behavior—from normal feelings to highly disturbed mothering. In a society where perfection in parenting is the unattainable ideal, this compassionate book also shows how women can affect positive change in their lives.
Barbara Almond, M.D., is a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst in private practice, a member of the faculty at the San Francisco Center for Psychoanalysis, and Emeritus Adjunct Clinical Assistant Professor at Stanford University. She is coauthor of The Therapeutic Narrative: Fictional Relationships and the Process of Psychological Change.
Table of Contents
Preface Acknowledgments Chapter 1. The Ubiquity of Maternal Ambivalence Chapter 2. Motherlove: The Power of Maternal Desire Chapter 3. The Subtle Ambivalence of the Too-Good Mother Chapter 4. “Before the Beginning”: Women’s Fears of Monstrous Births Chapter 5. Women’s Reproductive Fears: More Clinical Examples Chapter 6. Rachel’s Story: Internalized Ambivalence and the Dangers of Hidden Guilt Chapter 7. Whose Fault Is It? The Externalization of Ambivalence Chapter 8. When Fears Are Realized Chapter 9. From the Child’s Point of View Chapter 10. Vampyric Mothering: From Stage Moms to Invasive Moms Chapter 11. The Darkest Side of Motherhood: Child Murder Chapter 12. What Happens Later: The Fate of Maternal Ambivalence Chapter 13. What’s a Mother to Do? Notes Bibliography Index
What People are Saying About This
From the Publisher
"Just the thing for a gray and drizzly autumn afternoon. Drawing on her thirty-seven years of practice as a psychoanalyst as well as her own experiences as a mother, Almond leads an adventurous tour through the shadowy, secret parts of the mother's psyche. . . An oddly compelling read."New Yorker
"Myth-shredding look at maternal ambivalence." Ms Magazine
"First, let me recommend this engrossing study to every new mother, old mother, good mother and bad mother. Sons, husbands, dads and lovers might profit from reading this, too. 'The Monster Within' addresses what everybody knows, but almost nobody talks about: Even the best mothers among us will be or have been tormented from time to time by strong feelings of dread, fear, hatred and even revulsion at the whole process of motherhood, as well as experiencing downright murderous feelings toward our children."Washington Post Book World
"A smart, cohesive read, and a welcome respite from perfect-mother guidebooks. Recommended If: The last book you'd ever pick up is one about motherhood."Bitch
"Takes on the taboo of maternal ambivalence. . . . Almond, a psychoanalyst, offers an optimistic message about the roots of these mixed emotions."The Washington Post