Table of Contents
For Crying Out Loud Sharon M. Kaye ix
Science and Technology 1
1 A Vice Worse than Stupidity Sharon M. Kaye 3
2 Pope Admits: "God Ain't Said Shit to Me" Roberto Ruiz 15
3 Is My Kid Sitting Too Close to His Robot? Luke Cuddy 33
Opinion 39
4 Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck Robert Arp 41
5 What It Is to Be an Asshole Christopher Hallquist 53
6 God versus The Onion Greg Littmann 63
Politics 77
7 Philosophers Interested In Area Man But Not In Gay Way David Benatar 79
8 Would Diogenes Have Read The Onion? Rick Bayan 87
9 There's Something Queer about The Onion Mimi Marinucci 99
World 111
10 The Daily Form Deborah Brown Damien Ledwich Robert Whyte 113
11 Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell Randall E. Auxier 119
12 Existential Times Paul Loader 131
Business 145
13 Sarcastic Bastards, Useless Bullshit, and Murder Dan Miori 146
14 The Green Onion Matthew C. Altman 159
Local 175
15 Area Man Realizes Error of Ways after Reading Onion Article Noah Levin 177
16 Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up Matt Laubenthal 185
News Archive 195
17 Area God Hospitalized, Slowly Dying David Kyle Johnson 197
18 Peeling the Layers of Truth Gregory D. Gilson 209
19 Candide's Legacy Douglas Ficek 219
Entertainment 231
20 Fake News Story Not True Andrew Terjesen 233
21 A Philosophical Joke Book? Thomas J. Brommage 247
22 Liar, Liar Cynthia McWilliams 257
America's Finest Philosophers 267
Index of Onion Articles Mentioned in This Book 273
Inside The Onion and Philosophy 283