The Perfect Other: A Memoir of My Sister

by Kyleigh Leddy

Overview

“Shines a light on the stigma surrounding mental health and schizophrenia. This deeply personal memoir will give readers greater empathy and understanding in supporting those who are oftentimes misunderstood.” —Sheryl Sandberg

As a child, all Kait Leddy had ever wanted was a little sister. When Kyleigh was born, she and Kait were inseparable; Kait would protect her, include her, cuddle, and comfort her. To Kyleigh, her big sister was her whole world.

But as Kait entered adolescence, her personality changed. She began lashing out emotionally and physically and sometimes lost touch with reality, behavior that worsened after a traumatic head injury. The family struggled to keep this terrifying, often violent, side of Kait private—at school and in her social life, she was still the gorgeous, effervescent life of the party. Powerless to help, Kyleigh watched in horror as her perfect sibling’s world began to collapse and Kait was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Then, in January 2014, twenty-two-year-old Kait disappeared. Though her body was never found, security footage showed her walking to the peak of Philadelphia’s Benjamin Franklin Bridge, where it is presumed that she jumped. In this extraordinary memoir— a story of hope, grief, mental illness, and enduring love—a grieving Kyleigh reflects on her sister and their life together, honoring their bond and searching for answers and a way to find meaning in this devastating loss.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780358469346
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	03/15/2022
Pages:	304
Sales rank:	626,199
Product dimensions:	5.70(w) x 8.90(h) x 1.40(d)

About the Author

Kyleigh Leddy received her bachelor’s degree from Boston College and her MSW from Columbia University in advanced clinical practice and public policy. In 2019, she won the New York Times “Modern Love” college essay contest for a piece she wrote about grieving her sister, Kait. Her work has appeared in various publications, including the New York Times, Parents, and The Cut. She is based in New York City, and The Perfect Other is her first book.

Editorial Reviews

11/22/2021

Leddy debuts with a heartrending account of her older sister’s battle with mental illness. During their childhood in Philadelphia in the 1990s, Leddy saw her sister, Kait, “through the hero-worship lens of a little sister” as an arbiter of all things cool and her unquestioning protector. But as Kait reached adolescence, her joyful personality turned dark and her behavior increasingly frightening—such as one night when she hit their mother in the face. “Kait’s illness spread in this darkness the way all creeping matter prospers only in the dampest, most hidden places,” Leddy recounts, detailing how, in the years she came of age, her sister, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia, “came into madness.” Kait’s behavior eventually escalated, leading to stints in psychiatric hospitals, before she disappeared from the Benjamin Franklin Bridge in January 2014 (an apparent suicide, though her body hasn’t been found). Gutting in its intensity, Leddy’s narrative grapples with the unearned guilt she still carries regarding Kait’s difficult life, but it also celebrates the “exuberantly bright” light her “confident and hilarious” sister once shined upon the people around her. By refusing to allow this to become a story of utter despair, Leddy offers a humanist portrait of the nuances of loving someone with a mental illness. This one isn’t easy, but it’s well worth the effort. (Mar.)

Publishers Weekly

One of PopSugar's "Best New Books of 2022" — No Source

“Leddy seeks courageously to “break the stigma” and silence that still surround schizophrenia and similar disorders while paying tribute to the woman whose life so profoundly transformed her own. A moving and deeply felt memoir about family and mental illness." — Kirkus Reviews

“Exceptionally thoughtful and insightful.” — Booklist Online

"Deep, everlasting love, grief and the mysteries of mental illness are undercurrents that propel The Perfect Other, a chilling, moving memoir by Kyleigh Leddy. Leddy's raw search for understanding, meaning and peace grants readers a rare personal glimpse into the universal mysteries of mental illness and the long-lasting traumatic effects it has on those afflicted, as well as those in its orbit. A hauntingly reflective memoir details the intricacies of mental illness and the bonds of sisterly love and loyalty in this life—and beyond." — Shelf Awareness

“Heartrending… Leddy offers a humanist portrait of the nuances of loving someone with mental illness… Gutting in its intensity… but well worth the effort.”  — Publishers Weekly

"The Perfect Other" by Kyleigh Leddy is an emotional memoir about the bond between sisters, and breaking the stigma surrounding discussions of mental health." — Popsugar

From the Publisher

Exceptionally thoughtful and insightful.

Booklist Online

"Deep, everlasting love, grief and the mysteries of mental illness are undercurrents that propel The Perfect Other, a chilling, moving memoir by Kyleigh Leddy. Leddy's raw search for understanding, meaning and peace grants readers a rare personal glimpse into the universal mysteries of mental illness and the long-lasting traumatic effects it has on those afflicted, as well as those in its orbit. A hauntingly reflective memoir details the intricacies of mental illness and the bonds of sisterly love and loyalty in this life--and beyond."

Shelf Awareness

2022-01-05
In her first book, Leddy reflects on how she came to terms with her schizophrenic sister’s death.

The author grew up in awe of her older sister, Kait. Yet however much Kait loved her, Kyleigh knew that “I was born a shadow of my sister—paler, blonder, wispier, and more hesitant.” Smart, mischievous, and charming, Kait sometimes demonstrated erratic behaviors that emerged as suddenly as they disappeared. But no one thought anything of her antics until she reached adolescence. After the family moved from the small coastal town of Marblehead, Massachusetts, to Philadelphia, Kait’s volatility led to expulsion from her Quaker school. In high school, she quickly earned notoriety for her escapades, one of which involved suffering a head injury when she tried to sneak out of a window at her house. She turned violent not long afterward, forcing her parents to send her to a psychiatric hospital, which released her “undiagnosed.” Leddy watched in horror as the sister she idolized slipped away from her over the next few years while her parents stood by, feeling helpless. “You think you can get ahead of it, fix it,” writes the author. “She’s a little girl walking ahead of you, spilling paint from a bucket. You crawl behind her, trying to mop up every spot before it soaks into the fibers of the carpet.” More concussive incidents complicated an eventual diagnosis of schizophrenia. In and out of treatment centers, Kait went on personality-changing medication to stop her terrifying rages, but only after she disappeared while walking across a bridge did her broken family realize she had become suicidal. Threading commentary on traumatic brain injury and its relationship to psychiatric disorders throughout, Leddy seeks courageously to “break the stigma” and silence that still surround schizophrenia and similar disorders while paying tribute to the woman whose life so profoundly transformed her own.

A moving and deeply felt memoir about family and mental illness.

Kirkus Reviews