The Tricky Art Of Co-Existing: How to Behave Decently No Matter What Life Throws Your Way

by Sandi Toksvig

Overview

A “sensible and extremely amusing” guide to etiquette from the comedian and former cohost of The Great British Bake Off (Library Journal, starred review).

No one learns “etiquette” anymore (except by embarrassing trial and error). But manners are more than a dusty tradition: Done right, they make life easier for everyone. That’s why Sandi Toksvig, cohost of The Great British Bake Off, highlights decency rather than convention in this entertaining guide, with:

• Spot-On Advice: “Remember—you don’t have to answer the phone, so don’t do it if you don’t have time to be polite.”
• Fascinating Trivia: “It is very rude to clear the plate of someone who hasn’t finished. In fact, the Romans believed doing so would bring about the diner’s sudden death.”
• And Her Characteristic Wit: “Focusing on the people you share a meal with is both a pleasure and a necessity. Get to know your family members; you might even like them.”

Be the most decently behaved person in the room, and the most interesting: Master The Tricky Art of Co-Existing!

“Instead of some prissy, preachy list of rules, [the author] backs up her suggestions on etiquette with occasionally obscure and often hilarious facts.” —Bust

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781615192229
Publisher:	The Experiment
Publication date:	04/30/2021
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	290
File size:	438 KB

About the Author

Sandi Toksvig, OBE, is an award-winning writer, presenter, actress, and politician. She is often seen and heard on the BBC and has hosted several of its shows, including The Great British Bake Off (available in the US on PBS and Netflix), which she has co-presented since 2017. The author of more than twenty books and a regular columnist for the UK edition of Good Housekeeping, Toksvig is a “national treasure” (The Guardian). She was named Chancellor of the University of Portsmouth in 2012, and in March 2014 was awarded the prestigious title of OBE (Officer of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire). A true authority on successfully co-existing with others, Toksvig is now helping launch the Women’s Equality Party in the UK to campaign for women’s rights.

Table of Contents

To The Reader ix

To Begin: An introduction xi

1 At home 1

2 Table manners: eating in 19

3 Table manners: dining out 38

4 Communication 73

5 Out and about 106

6 Travel 132

7 Shoulder to the grindstone 151

8 Having relations 166

9 Little ones 201

10 Breaking up is hard to do 235

11 Buying the farm 248

Epilogue: Where good manners are bad 259

Index 262

Editorial Reviews

02/02/2015
Toksvig (Valentine Gray) thoroughly covers the intricacies of modern manners in this handy, if sometimes strained, offering. In 11 chapters, written in letter form to an eight-year-old named Mary (identified as a “delightful child in my life”), she outlines everything from dining in (don’t pick nose or teeth at the dinner table; how to use chopsticks; what is appropriate to eat with one’s fingers) and out (as a guest at a dinner party, wait to be invited to have a second serving; as a restaurant customer, tipping, ordering, and the like) to behaving on social media (beware of showing off; don’t be a troll or feed one; try not to look desperate or weird). The author serves up her advice with a solid helping of odd, intermittently relevant trivia—the creator of grocery store chain Piggly Wiggly; the origins of the fork; Alfred Hitchcock’s childhood—which, if nothing else, will give readers a few fascinating, offbeat facts to share at their next dinner party. While Toksvig’s writing is engaging, her frequent asides to young Mary quickly become cloying and cutesy. Still, her advice is sound and should save many, not least young Mary, from unintentional etiquette gaffes in the future. (Apr.)

Publishers Weekly

[Toksvig’s] advice is sound and should save many, not least young Mary, from unintentional etiquette gaffes in the future.”—Publishers Weekly

“Sandi Toksvig is the agony aunt you never knew you needed. . . . Instead of some prissy, preachy list of rules, [she] backs up her suggestions on etiquette with occasionally obscure and often hilarious facts.”—Bust

“This clever book of etiquette is not concerned with how one should address an archbishop but is rather a smart guide to day-to-day existence, especially for young people. Toksvig’s skillful turns of phrase make the work entertaining as well as useful. . . . Sensible and extremely amusing, this engaging book is recommended.”—Library Journal, starred review

“Do we really need another book about manners? Yes! Especially when the writing is wonderfully funny and the content is so extremely useful. Just by reading the title—The Tricky Art of Co-Existing: How to Behave Decently No Matter What Life Throws Your Way—we know we’re in the hands of an author who possesses the magic touch of turning platitudes into golden prose.”—Book Page

“Sandi Toksvig’s book is both educational and entertaining. It’s a user-friendly approach to living, working and getting along in today’s challenging business and social arenas. The Tricky Art of Co-Existing is a must-have!”
—Dorothea Johnson, founder of The Protocol School of Washington and co-author, with Liv Tyler, of Modern Manners

“An entertaining guide to navigating life’s delicate moments that is as enjoyable as it is practical. No-nonsense advice shot through with quirky tales from history, eye-opening word origins, and the often humorous dictates of etiquette-makers going back centuries—Dame Sandy Toksvig brings it all together with enough zing and zest to flavor a spicy curry. A wonderful, witty delight. Rarely have I enjoyed being told what to do and how to behave so darn much!”
—Rick Beyer, author of The Greatest Stories Never Told

“In The Tricky Art of Co-Existing, Sandi Toksvig navigates life’s little dilemmas with wit and not-so-common sense. You’ll learn the strange history of common courtesy and the one true secret of social success: how to not drive everyone around you crazy.”
—William Poundstone, author of Rock Breaks Scissors: A Practical Guide to Outguessing and Outwitting Almost Everybody

“A delightfully written, comprehensive guide full of fascinating historical tidbits. Every grad should get a copy!”
—Lynette Padwa, author of Everything You Pretend to Know And Are Afraid Someone Will Ask

“Sandi Toksvig proves that a guide to manners doesn’t have to be mannered. Finally we have an Emily Post for the 21st century.”
—Bill Walsh, author of Lapsing Into a Comma, The Elephants of Style, and Yes, I Could Care Less

“The most unpretentious, sensible and genuinely helpful etiquette book I’ve ever read—and by far the funniest.”
—Kate Fox, author of Watching the English

“An entertaining guide to modern manners, which also uncovers some fascinating details about how our manners have changed through time.”
—The Bookseller

“The tone is chatty and there are plenty of etiquette-related nuggets here to enhance a reader’s own conversational repertoire.”
—The Spectator

“Eats, Shoots and Leaves for modern manners”
—The Sunday Times

“Sandi Toksvig makes Stephen Fry look like a layabout.”
—The Guardian

“There are three things you immediately notice about Sandi Toksvig. Her height, her wit and her distinctive voice . . . it’s rip-roaring stuff, and it translates to the page, too.”
—Independent on Sunday

From the Publisher

★ 02/15/2015
This clever book of etiquette is not concerned with how one should address an archbishop but is rather a smart guide to day-to-day existence, especially for young people. Toksvig's (Heroines and Harridans) skillful turns of phrase make the work entertaining as well as useful. Her philosophy boils down to "The Top Cs:" consideration, common sense, context, and comfort, with an emphasis on stopping to think before you do or say anything. The author covers table manners; communication from the wolf whistle to the formal invitation; interaction with family, coworkers, and strangers; travel; personal relationships; raising civilized children; and dealing with those who are dying or newly bereaved. Interspersed throughout are amusing quotes and hilarious anecdotes. The story about the King of Denmark and his impecunious dinner guest is, by itself, worth the price of the book. VERDICT Sensible and extremely amusing, this engaging book is highly recommended.—Susan B. Hagloch, formerly with Tuscarawas Cty. P.L., New Philadelphia, OH

Library Journal