Table of Contents
Introduction ix
Part 1 This Is What You Put in Your Mouth 1
A.1. Steak Sauce 2
Purina Alpo Chop House Beef Tenderloin Flavor in Gourmet Gravy 8
Beano 16
Chocolate Cherry Cordials 22
Cigarettes 26
Coffee 31
Cool Whip 36
Doritos Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger Chips 40
Easy Cheese Aerosol Spread 47
Enfamil Baby Formula 55
Enzyte 58
Hostess Lemon Fruit Pie 65
Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza 69
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter 72
FreshBurst Listerine 77
Midol 84
Orbit White Gum 88
PowerBar ProteinPlus 93
Red Bull 97
Red Wine 100
Samuel Adams Harvest Pumpkin Ale 105
Slim Jim 112
Southern Comfort Egg Nog 116
Spam with Bacon 128
Tap Water 132
Vita Coco Coconut Water 138
Part 2 This Is What You Don't Put in Your Mouth 141
Axe Deodorant 142
Colored-Flame Artificial Logs 144
Bausch & Lomb Renu Contact Lens Cleaner Solution 148
CoverGirl LashBlast Luxe Mascara 151
Diamond Strike Anywhere Matches 155
April Fresh Downy Fabric Softener 159
Febreze 163
Fix-A-Flat 168
A Flu Shot 172
Gasoline 177
Head & Shoulders Shampoo 185
Heroin 189
Just For Men Hair Color 194
K-Y Yours+Mine Couples Lubricants 200
Neutrogena Healthy Skin Face Lotion SPF 15 204
Noxzema 208
Play-Doh 214
Preparation H 219
Lemon Scent Raid 224
Rain-X 228
Sta-Green Tree and Shrub Planting Mix 254
Tide Pods 239
Titleist Golf Balls 245
Triple Paste Diaper Cream 248
Acknowledgments 253