Uncomfortable Truth # 1: The story we tell ourselves about ourselves is the life we live. When we believe unhelpful and painful things about ourselves, we act those perceptions out daily leading to suffering and dissatisfaction. Uncomfortable Truth #2: We don't have feelings because of what others say and do, we have feelings because of the meaning we give to what others are saying and doing- particularly about ourselves. Dr. Marshal Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication, once said, "We are not responsible for others' feelings, and they are not responsible for our feelings. We are only responsible for communicating in a way that considers each other's feelings." It's uncomfortably true. Our perceptions are what shape our emotional world. Uncomfortable Truth #3: We create beliefs about ourselves and the world through memory networks, a history of remembered events that link together as anecdotal justification for a belief that we hold. As Neuropsychologist Donald Hebb said, "Neurons that fire together, wire together." The more we negatively perceive events, the more we wire those negative beliefs about ourselves into our brain. And so, we return to Uncomfortable Truth #1. Solution: TICES journaling is a great way to gain insight into what negative beliefs are causing intense emotional reactions and life dissatisfaction. This TICES journal takes it one step further and walks you through an exercise to decrease your reactivity over time to this negative belief and replace it with a positive one more fulfilling one.
