Touching Two Worlds: A Guide for Finding Hope in the Landscape of Loss

by Sherry Walling PhD

Overview

A trauma psychologist explores the inner workings of her own grief—and leaves an invaluable guide for those seeking hope in the aftermath of loss.

As a therapist, Dr. Sherry Walling knew all the “right” things to say to help people through grief. But when she lost her father to cancer and her brother to suicide within six months of each other, she had the unfortunate chance to encounter two types of mourning up close—the slowly unfolding terminal illness and the sudden and stigmatized death by suicide. She realized we’re getting grief all wrong.

In Touching Two Worlds, this trusted expert dares to open the inner workings of her own grief—and in the process, provides an invaluable resource for those seeking hope in the aftermath of loss. Written with honesty, gentle humor, and deep understanding, this book was created to bring comfort to friends and family when there are few helpful words to say.

Dr. Walling grieves as a sister, daughter, mother, and mental health expert. She shares moving personal stories while offering a broad range of healing strategies and exercises derived from neuroscience—like how to heal through movement, how to cry in public, how to talk to kids about death, and how to cope with survivor’s guilt. These are tips from someone who has been there, as well as approaches informed by professional expertise.

Touching Two Worlds is a story of love, sadness, and renewal. Whether your loss is recent and sharp or old and familiar, Dr. Walling delivers wise and tender guidance to help you carry the weight of grief while finding your own path forward.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781683649670
Publisher:	Sounds True, Incorporated
Publication date:	07/26/2022
Pages:	288
Sales rank:	627,631
Product dimensions:	4.90(w) x 7.70(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Sherry Walling, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, speaker, podcaster, and entrepreneur. Her life’s work is helping high-achieving people navigate painful and complex experiences. Her podcast, ZenFounder, has been called a “must listen” by both Forbes and Entrepreneur magazines and has been downloaded more than 1 million times. Learn more at sherrywalling.com.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Part 1 Two Griefs

Which Aisle for Deathbed Sheets? 7

Can I Have an Armband, Please? 15

Suicide and the Mental Gymnastics of Talking to Kids 19

The Special Art of Crying on Airplanes 25

How to Talk to Grieving People 29

Triggers (and the Unfortunate Loss of Perfectly Good Guacamole) 35

Pen in the Wash 39

Disney: Death and Murder for Children 41

Don't Touch Anything (and Bring Music) 47

How to Survive Memorial Services: Eat All the Cookies 53

The Emotional Power of Office Supplies 61

Busy Hands and Open Hearts 65

Part 2 Cancer

This Is Not What I Ordered 71

Fight or Surrender? 77

Middle-Class Cancer 85

Touching Two Worlds 89

Fire, Water, and the End of the World 93

Pants Optional 101

Yoga with Dad 105

The Last Day 109

There's a Dead Body in the Living Room 113

The Audacity of the Sunrise 117

Binge-Watching Is My Transitional Object 121

Don't Rush 123

Part 3 Suicide

The Obituary That Was Never Published 129

Dave Is Going to Die 133

Angels in the Zombie Maze 139

Merry-Go-Round of Horrors 147

It Could Be Me 153

When Lifelines Become Entangled 159

The Autopsy in My Inbox 163

The Chapter Where I Grapple with Blame and Responsibility 167

Ten Thousand Answers, but No Reason Why 173

I Can't Come with You 177

Death as Light and Feathers 181

You'll Never Know Him 185

Part 4 Life After Death

Metamorphosis 189

Name the Ghosts 191

Heaven: Potluck in the Sky? 197

Fuck It-I'm Joining the Circus 203

I Might Be Tod Messed Up to Go to Work 213

Freud Was Right: Death, Sex, and Trauma 217

One Year 221

How Do You Hug a Shadow? 225

Parenting 101: You Must Get Out of Bed 229

Friends Whose Parents Are Alive 233

Public Nudity 237

Too Strong for My Own Good 241

Wait, How Many Kids Do You Have? 247

Sneaky Reemergence of Belief 249

We're All Grieving 255

I'm Okay 257

Afterword 259

Acknowledgments 261

Notes 263

Resources 267

About the Author 269

Editorial Reviews

While the experience of loss is profoundly personal, the process of moving through grief is universal. This book has bravery on every page, giving us all the ability to see the author while at the same time seeing ourselves.” —Jayson Gaignard, founder of MastermindTalks

“In Touching Two Worlds, Dr. Walling helps us process grief with reverence. She models how to be fully present with the pain of loss while experiencing the full joy of life. Instead of seeing grief as something to be avoided or rushed through, she reminds us that grief can indeed carve out space for more joy.” —Emily Fletcher, founder and CEO of Ziva Meditation

“Touching Two Worlds communicates our mysterious human solidarity in pain—the intimate twins of grief and love, two sides of a coin. The author offers a vulnerable and important in-the-moment vocabulary for those of us who are desperate in our grief within the context of our death-phobic society. I can only say thank you for this radical insight.” —Jerry White, corecipient of the 1997 Nobel Peace Prize and professor of practice, University of Virginia

“Sherry’s deep insights on grief and loss serve as a healing, way-finding journey for so many of us unpacking the complex layers of grief.” —Tracey Ivanyshyn, president of UPLevel Global and founder of Good Grief at Work

“While grief is universal, few of us know how to do it well. In Touching Two Worlds, Dr. Walling offers practical, compassionate wisdom to help grieving people (and those who love them) feel less alone in the darkness.” —Jordan Harbinger, host of The Jordan Harbinger Show

“Dr. Walling demonstrates how to cultivate resilience. Using a ‘show, don’t tell’ approach, her experience and her expertise help move the reader from overwhelm to groundedness.” —JJ Virgin, New York Times bestselling author of The Virgin Diet

“In Touching Two Worlds, Dr. Walling elegantly demonstrates how to lean into resilience. This work reflects the training of a trauma therapist and the openhearted vulnerability of someone who is unafraid of her humanness.” —Dan Martell, entrepreneur and CEO of SaaS Academy

“Dr. Sherry Walling is a psychological rock star who takes you on a cosmic journey of love, death, and grief. Authentic. Bold. Vulnerable. She holds the center. And will help you find yours. Enjoy.” —Matt House, DO, president and medical director of House Psychiatric Clinic

“The reflection and embodiment practices offered here are hard-won, time-tested tools. Dr. Walling speaks directly and openly about real-life, applied strategies that have helped her to continue healing her own heart.” —Casey Taft, PhD, staff psychologist, National Center for PTSD, VA Boston Healthcare System and professor, Boston University School of Medicine

“Touching Two Worlds is a love letter to the departed and the bereaved, to Life and Death and Grief itself. On these pages, Sherry Walling’s heart laid bare is our own—cracked wide open with care and compassion, gently reminding us of love lost and found, here to honor our hurting, our healing, and to call us home.” —Anita Stubenrauch, ex-Apple creative veteran, founder of The Land of Make+Believe, and founder of Cause:Effect Creative

“An intimate window into the transformative power of grief, lovingly paired with healthy, practical coping strategies of how to care for yourself and others in life’s most sensitive times.” —Michael Freeman, MD, founder of Econa and clinical professor of psychiatry, UCSF School of Medicine

“Dr. Walling is a brave soul. Taking something so painful, and often kept in the shadows, she shares her grief to help us cope, heal, and grow. Dr. Walling’s ability to put emotions into words is beautiful.” —Samantha Matlin, PhD, clinical psychologist and vice president of Learning and Community Impact at the Scattergood Foundation

“From experience, going through grief can be a lonely road, as most don’t understand unless they have also experienced it. Dr. Sherry Walling is both a person with that experience and an expert in the subject. I am grateful she has decided to share her wisdom through this book.” —Erik Huberman, founder and CEO of Hawke Media

“Dr. Walling has written a magnificent guide to grief and grieving. It will surely be a helpful companion to anyone suffering the loss or impending loss of a loved one. Each chapter reads like an opportunity to sit with a friend who deeply understands your pain, and who also has excellent plainspoken advice for getting through all the awful situations that grief puts you through.” —Patrick Combs, “Blisspreneur” and master of story

“Touching Two Worlds is a gift to be held with both hands, an open heart, and a recognition that we are not alone. As we stumble through a world soaked in pain, Dr. Sherry Walling reminds us that we are not alone. Bound by grief, we are connected in deep and true ways, an accompaniment that we may not have realized we needed but deserve nonetheless.” —Erinn Farrell, cofounder and partner of The Coven

“Three pages into reading this book, I already wanted to send it to every grieving person I know, every person who has ever experienced grief, and every person who will ever experience grief.” —Alexis Dean, founder of the Dovetail Community

“Touching Two Worlds is a tremendous resource for anyone struggling to find their footing in the aftermath of loss. I’ve spent my career helping clients heal from trauma and grief, and I’m very grateful to have this book as an important new resource.” —Michael Mithoefer, MD, senior medical director for Medical Affairs, Training and Supervision, MAPS Public Benefit Corporation

“This book is an adept, gentle guide on how to love ourselves more openly through deep pain and loss. Dr. Walling is the very best possible advisor for the unwitting ‘grief club.’” —Rev. Dr. Chris Erdman, pastor, author, and spiritual coach

“This is an extraordinarily helpful book. It is written by one of the few people that I trust with my mental health. I recommend this to anyone who is confronting a loss or major disruption.” —Andrew Warner, founder of Mixergy

“Along with providing tips and strategies throughout the book, the most impactful section is where Sherry promotes kindness and respect to those struggling with their mental health or substance use. Anyone who has lost someone to suicide will find a connection to this book.” —Sue Aberholden, executive director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Minnesota

From the Publisher