Transforming Church Conflict: Compassionate Leadership in Action

by Deborah van Deusen Hunsinger, Theresa F. Latini

Overview

With many pastors facing burnout and congregations suffering from internal divisions, there is a need for Christian resources that present concrete problem-solving techniques for handling conflict in the church. This book offers practical skills and strategies that the authors have learned through years of studying nonviolent communication (NVC) as described in Marshall Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, and as developed by numerous NVC trainers all over the world. Using real-world case studies and examples, Hunsinger and Latini helpfully guide pastors and lay leaders through effective and compassionate ways to deal with discord. These strategies include differentiating observations from evaluations, experiencing and expressing feelings, identifying and connecting with needs, and making requests rather than demands. By learning the basic skills of compassionate communication, church leaders can be empowered to transform, rather than merely manage, church conflict

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780664238483
Publisher:	Westminster John Knox Press
Publication date:	04/12/2013
Edition description:	New Edition
Pages:	270
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Deborah van Deusen Hunsinger is the Charlotte W. Newcombe Professor of Pastoral Theology at Princeton Theological Seminary. An ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), she is the author or editor of several books, including Pray without Ceasing: Revitalizing Pastoral Care.

Theresa F. Latini is the George Weinman Chair of Pastoral Theology and Ministry at Luther Seminary and Parish Associate at Lake Nokomis Presbyterian Church in Minneapolis. An ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), she is the author of The Church and the Crisis of Community: A Practical Theology of Small-Group Ministry.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

List of Illustrations and Tables xi

Introduction: Living Peaceably with All xiii

Part 1 Basic Skills in Compassionate Communication

1 By the Renewal of Your Mind: Transforming Church Conflict 2

2 Rooted and Grounded in Love: The Beauty of Human Needs 20

3 Search Me and Know My Heart: Identifying and Expressing Feelings 38

4 Do Not Judge: Making Observations and Requests 56

Part 2 Skill Sets: Empathy, Self-Empathy, and Honesty

5 God's Compassion Is over All: Listening with an Open Heart 78

6 Loving Your Neighbor as Yourself: The Art of Self-Empathy 96

7 Speaking the Truth in Love: Honest Expression 116

Part 3 Advanced Skill Sets in Compassionate Communication

8 Blessed Are Those Who Mourn: The Path of Healing 136

9 Be of the Same Mind: Staying in Dialogue 154

10 Strive for God's Kingdom: Transforming Conflict in Church-Wide Crises 174

Conclusion: Learning the Secret of Contentment 196

Appendixes

Appendix 1 Feelings Inventory 203

Appendix 2 Needs Inventory 207

Appendix 3 Conflict Intensity Chart 209

Notes 217

Bibliography 235

Index of Scripture 239

Index of Subjects 241