UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe
Just what is it that they don't want you to know about the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Area 51, and the mysterious “face” on Mars? In UFOs, JFK, and Elvis, the television actor and legendary statesman of stand-up comedy, Richard Belzer, delivers a witty rant on some of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups this side of Roswell. With a deft and entertaining combination of satire and in-your-face facts, Belzer challenges his audience to accept the extent of alleged government cover-ups. Finally, one lone “nut” exposes the conspiracy to keep conspiracies a dirty little secret, standing up to the shadowy forces. Just remember: Do not ask on whom The Belz has told-he's told on them.
"1100618430"
UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe
Just what is it that they don't want you to know about the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Area 51, and the mysterious “face” on Mars? In UFOs, JFK, and Elvis, the television actor and legendary statesman of stand-up comedy, Richard Belzer, delivers a witty rant on some of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups this side of Roswell. With a deft and entertaining combination of satire and in-your-face facts, Belzer challenges his audience to accept the extent of alleged government cover-ups. Finally, one lone “nut” exposes the conspiracy to keep conspiracies a dirty little secret, standing up to the shadowy forces. Just remember: Do not ask on whom The Belz has told-he's told on them.
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UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe

UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe

by Richard Belzer

Narrated by Richard Belzer

Unabridged — 5 hours, 6 minutes

UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe

UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Believe

by Richard Belzer

Narrated by Richard Belzer

Unabridged — 5 hours, 6 minutes

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Overview

Just what is it that they don't want you to know about the assassination of John F. Kennedy, Area 51, and the mysterious “face” on Mars? In UFOs, JFK, and Elvis, the television actor and legendary statesman of stand-up comedy, Richard Belzer, delivers a witty rant on some of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups this side of Roswell. With a deft and entertaining combination of satire and in-your-face facts, Belzer challenges his audience to accept the extent of alleged government cover-ups. Finally, one lone “nut” exposes the conspiracy to keep conspiracies a dirty little secret, standing up to the shadowy forces. Just remember: Do not ask on whom The Belz has told-he's told on them.

Editorial Reviews

barnesandnoble.com

The Power of Positive Paranoia

Richard Belzer shares at least one trait with Detective John Munch, the character he plays on NBC's "Homicide: Life on the Street": They're both more than a little leery of official explanations of such matters as the JFK assassination, Area 51, the UFO "crash" at Roswell, and the "face" on the planet Mars.

In his new book, UFOs, JFK, AND ELVIS, Belzer sounds the clarion call, in his inimitably assertive yet entertaining fashion, urging us all to wake up and smell the coffee on these topics of controversy and many others.

Dozens of books have been published on the Kennedy assassination, but none are perhaps quite as forcefully to the point as Belzer's. He's clearly been thinking about and researching the events of that day in 1963 for some time, and if you harbor any doubts at all that the Warren Commission was a work of fiction-by-committee, you'll likely find yourself swayed to at least a certain degree by Belzer's barrage of facts and wisecracks.

If you've ever asked yourself why every American president since 1840 elected in a year ending in a zero has died in office (except President Reagan, and as Belzer points out, "John Hinckley did what he could"), if you've ever wondered whether J. Edgar Hoover really died of natural causes, if you harbor the sneaking suspicion that the government is covering up knowledge of life on other planets, if it's ever occurred to you that the surface of the moon, as seen in footage of astronauts strolling the lunar landscape, looks an awful lot like the Arizona desert, you've got a friend in Richard Belzer. View the world through his eyes for a couple of hours, and you may never again enjoy a restful night's sleep.

Library Journal

Best known for his role as Detective Munch in the TV police drama Homicide, Belzer was originally a stand-up comic. Here he confronts the two biggest conspiracy theories of our time, JFK's assassination and UFOs. Elvis is mentioned only in the context of George Bush's response when asked if there might have been a conspiracy involved in the JFK assassination: "There are some people who still think Elvis is alive." With a deft and entertaining combination of satire and in-your-face facts, Belzer challenges his audience to accept the extent of alleged government cover-ups. The first half of the book on JFK is more interesting than the second half on UFOs, but seasoned conspiracy theorists will find no new revelations in either case. Belzer tries to goad casual skeptics into becoming more passionate about their doubts over "official" explanations such as the Warren Report. Even the veracity of NASA's lunar landings are once again called into question. The bibliography is a welcome and useful addition. Popular fare for public libraries.--Joe J. Accardi, Northeastern Illinois Univ. Lib., Chicago Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information.

Booknews

Belzer, a veteran comic and a versatile actor best known for his role as Detective Munch in the television series , is also a student of the media and conspiracy theories. He re-examines received wisdom fed to us by government officials and the media, revealing evidence behind controversial cover-ups and unexplained anomalies. In between the sobering and macabre facts are rants, factoids, side bars, and quotes from historical figures. Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknew.com)

From the Publisher

"Richard Belzer is one of the funniest black men in America!"
—CHRIS ROCK

"Belzer is my biggest comedy influence. He is the Tigris and Euphrates of cool."
—DENNIS MILLER
   Author of Ranting Again

"ALWAYS A HOTBED OF SEDITION, BELZER COMES AT YOU LIKE A HANDFUL OF FLUNG GRAVEL. After all these years, it's a treat to have his insanity in book form."
—Bill Maher
   Host of Politically Incorrect

"A MUST-READ . . . YOU GOTTA LOVE THE BELZ. . . . His sharp sense of humor doesn't allow him to miss an opportunity for laughs."
—Playboy

Product Details

BN ID: 2940175617246
Publisher: Phoenix Books, Inc.
Publication date: 07/01/1999
Edition description: Unabridged

Read an Excerpt

PREFACE
 
Good Evening Mr. and Mrs. America and All the Gaskets at Sea
 
So what if Castro, the Mafia, or some disgruntled arm of the United States Government might have plugged the president back in 1963? As I’ve plugged the hardcover edition of this fine book over the past year, it has elicited more comment, reaction, and excitement than did strangely dressed men carrying shotguns down the streets of Dallas, Texas, in broad daylight the day JFK took his ill-fated ride. But then again, what doesn’t?
 
Since the publication of this book, I’ve been hailed as a whistle-blower and pilloried as a paranoid. But however people react to me as a truth-seeker and assassination theorist, the evidence that President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was the victim of a conspiracy just keeps on floating to the surface.
 
A case in point: on June 1, 1989, the former administrator of the General Services Administration, Lawson Knott, revealed that—in February 1966—the polished bronze casket used to transport John Kennedy’s body from Dallas to Washington was loaded with three eighty-pound bags of sand, drilled full of holes, and sunk nine thousand feet beneath the surface of the Atlantic Ocean. As Knott tells it, Robert Kennedy—then a U.S. Senator from New York—requested the action to offset any possibility that the casket might become an object of public curiosity. In so doing, he destroyed government property, deep-sixed an invaluable piece of evidence, and ensured that the casket would always be an object of public curiosity—particularly since this costly and controversial burial-at-sea could not have taken place without the approval of U.S. attorney general Nicholas Katzenbach. As usual, the U.S. government seemed only too happy to do anything it could to sweep messy assassination evidence away from the public view and into the shipping lanes.
 
And that isn’t all. In June 1999, Russian president Boris Yeltsin hand-delivered to Bill Clinton a package of eighty documents compiled by the KGB throughout the Cold War years and recently declassified. These documents clearly refute several of the government’s favorite assassination-related explanations and open the door to years of continuing speculation. Among the highlights contained within these high-level papers is indisputable proof that Lee Harvey Oswald was welcomed in Moscow like a long-lost comrade in 1959 when Americans weren’t exactly on the Kremlin’s A-list.
 
This visit took place when Oswald was just an unknown, nineteen-year-old, former Marine with a six-day visa. Despite the fact that it would be more than four years before Oswald reached the height of his importance as a government patsy, memos announcing his arrival circulated through the office of the deputy premier, the Soviet foreign minister, and the head of the KGB. They also reveal that these officials had approved plans to provide Oswald with a job, an apartment, a five thousand dollar furniture allowance, and seven hundred rubles a month in spending money. To put it in perspective, that’s a deal Rula Lenska has never been offered.
 
American intelligence sources are still unwilling to speculate on what might have elicited such a warm reception for such a nondescript nobody. But former Secret Service director in charge of protective operations Lem Jones remarked, “People of that rank have a lot to worry about besides some kid tourist. They might have felt threatened in some way… What kind of threat did he pose? Or was it something else?” Was it? Gee, I don’t know. Why don’t you go ask Jack Ruby? Oh yeah. I forgot.
 
And lest the subject of JFK’s brain and the botched autopsy reports has slipped your mind, you could always check the final report of the Assassination Records Review Board released in September 1998. There you will learn that, although there isn’t much evidence to support a single-bullet theory, there is scads of information that suggest a cover-up, including:
 
-       the testimony of Saundra Spencer. Spencer, who worked at the Naval Photographic Center, testified that she had developed postmortem photographs of President Kennedy. She also testified that the photos she developed were not those photos contained in the National Archives since 1966. This suggests the existence of two sets of photos.
-       confirming evidence of an entry wound in the president’s right temple and of a gaping, grapefruit-size hole in the back of his head. How many times do we have to hear these reports before we believe them?
-       many personal accounts pointing to the existence of bogus autopsy photographs. Gloria Knudsen, wife of White House photographer Robert Knudsen, reported that her husband had told her and their children that four autopsy photos were missing, another had been “badly altered,” and that four of five of the photographs did not represent what he had witnessed in the autopsy room. Several other witnesses told of seeing photographs in which up to three probes had been inserted into the president’s wounds. Curiously, since three wounds of entrance would indicate a conspiracy, these photos have gone missing.
-       the account of X-ray technician Jerrol Custer, who testified to the AARB that he took films of numerous fragments imbedded in the president’s neck. He also reported that he saw a large bullet fragment fall from the back when the body was lifted. Oh, and did I mention that Custer was in the process of marking his films so that he could later identify them when he was ordered to stop by a senior military officer? Well, he mentioned it. But don’t take my word for it. Go to the Internet and read it for yourself.
 
And speaking of the Internet, the Web is also the most up-to-date source for uncensored information on current UFO sightings, alien encounters, crashes, abductions, and, of course, the latest research on all of those incredibly well-documented incidents that the government will tell you never happened, like Roswell. Are these sites legit? Judge for yourself. Visit alienzoo.com, where you’ll find bulletins on the latest sightings, a great archive, coverage of recent UFO-science events, and even a message board where you can share information with other openminded people. Or go to earthfiles.com and check out the space-related headline news, dispatches on the latest animal attacks, crop circles, and mysterious floating spheres. While you’re there, be sure to browse through the fascinating collection of “Real Life X-Files.” With evidence like that, no wonder even a conservative Republican like Barry Goldwater became a believer!
 
Every time information on the JFK assassination or a new piece of UFO-related evidence is revealed, the governmentos are quick to add that they are only making these details public to put to rest the profound doubts stirred up by wacko conspiracy theorists like me. Judge for yourself: have they put your doubts to rest?
 
That’s what I thought.
 
Read on.

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