Veggie Carols and Crazy Carols

by Bill Cain

Overview

A space module escapes Earth at Christmas time, landing upon an alien world. Behold! There are creatures singing the same tunes from back home! While listening more closely, the Earthlings notice some words being different from the familiar carol words. And the aliens seem to be eating fruit and veggies with lots of gusto! This leads the Earthlings to join the singing with great abandon, as aliens cook and bake in the outer world kitchen. Mostly, the aliens are just having a good time giving the tunes rowdy meaning.

Then the aliens sing other holiday tunes, with even more curious adventures and words. Earthlings are fascinated by hearing things such as: teens missing their curfew, getting braces, pigging out at Christmas, seeing the spread of the fast food industry, and watching recent political events on Earth. This amazed the Earthlings to hear such things in their holiday tunes. Finally, they decide the aliens really knew how to have a good time!

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781634929257
Publisher:	Booklocker.com, Incorporated
Publication date:	01/15/2018
Pages:	86
Product dimensions:	5.00(w) x 7.00(h) x 0.21(d)

About the Author

Bill Cain is a professional keyboard musician from Terre Haute, Indiana with degrees in music and a lifetime of performing at church and community events, including playing solo organ at Indiana State University Commencements. At this Christmas season, inspired by a dream, he decided to write a fun veggie carol for a holiday gathering of health minded people. That one carol has turned into 31 delightful holiday treats. Enjoy!

Table of Contents

PREFACE AND VEGGIE CAROLS

OREGANO, OREGANO [TUNE: O CHRISTMAS TREE, O CHRISTMAS TREE]

RED-NOSED FRUIT CAKE [TUNE: RED NOSED REINDEER]

HERE COMES CINNAMON [TUNE: HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS]

CARROT STICKS [TUNE: JINGLE BELLS]

GARLIC SMELLS [TUNE: SILVER BELLS]

SILENT GRAPES [TUNE: SILENT NIGHT]

GOD REST YE MERRY BRUSSELS SPROUTS [TUNE: GOD REST YE MERRY GENTLEMEN]

O LITTLE SPRIG OF CELERY [TUNE: O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM]

I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE TOFU [TUNE: WHITE CHRISTMAS]

O VEGGIE BURGER [TUNE: O CHRISTMAS TREE]

FROSTY THE SMOOTHIE [TUNE: FROSTY THE SNOWMAN]

THE KICKING SONG BEAT [TUNE: JINGLE BELL ROCK]

O COME, ALL YE BAKERS! [TUNE: O COME, ALL YE FAITHFUL]

COOKIES RISING IN THE PAN [TUNE: ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH]

AWAY IN THE CUPBOARD [TUNE: AWAY IN THE MANGER]

TRANSITION TO CRAZY CAROLS

THE FIRST EGG NOG [TUNE: THE FIRST NOEL]

JOY TO THE WORLD [TUNE: JOY TO THE WORLD]

CELL PHONES RING [TUNE: SLEIGHBELLS RING, ARE YOU LISTENING?]

CHICKENS ROAM AT CHRISTMAS [TUNE: I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS]

HAVE YOURSELF SOME SWEATY LITTLE FITNESS [TUNE: HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS]

FREAKING TREE ON MY CAR [TUNE: WE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE]

IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CURFEW [TUNE: IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS]

CAROL OF THE JELLS [TUNE: CAROL OF THE BELLS]

O CHOCOLATE CAKE [ALTERNATE TITLE: O JOLLY CAKE] [TUNE: O HOLY NIGHT]

STRAIGHTENING FEATURES ON YOUR OVERBITE [TUNE: CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE. [ORTHODONTIA SONG - TUNE: THE CHRISTMAS SONG]

SAID THE PEPCID [TUNE: SAID THE NIGHT WIND TO THE SHEPHERD BOY]

O LETTUCE DID YOU KNOW? [TUNE: O MARY DID YOU KNOW?]

LITTLE GUNNER BOY [TUNE: LITTLE DRUMMER BOY]

FOOD POLICE ARE COMING TO TOWN [TUNE: SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN]

TRUMP’S GETTING SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS [TUNE: I’M GETTING NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS]

RUN, RUN, PUTIN [TUNE: RUN, RUN, RUDOLPH]

CONCLUSION: A NEW PERIOD OF FUN

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Editorial Reviews

"The tome is a joyful journey born of a runaway, free-spirited imagination that could be a cross between Lewis Carroll's bizarre fantasies and Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary," a biting assault on all things prim and proper."

- Saul Rosenthal

From the Publisher