What Do You Really Want for Your Children?

by Wayne W. Dyer

Overview

World-famous author Wayne Dyer, the doctor who taught millions how to take charge of their own lives in the bestselling classics Your Erroneous Zones and Pulling Your Own Strings, reveals how to help your kids take charge of their own happiness.

If you have children, then you have dreams for them. You want to see them growing up happy, healthy, self-reliant, and confident in themselves and their abilities. You’ve also probably wondered if you'll be able to give them all this. There's good news: you can. Wayne Dyer shares the wisdom and guidance that have already helped millions of readers take charge of their lives and shows how to make all your hopes for your children come true.

Learn valuable advice including Dyer’s original seven simple secrets for building your child's self-esteem every day; how to give very young children all the love they need without spoiling them; how to encourage risk-taking without fear of failure; action strategies for dealing with both your own anger and your child's; the right way (and the wrong way) to improve your child's behavior; the secrets of raising kids relatively free of illness; techniques that encourage children to enjoy life, and much more.

It's all here – straightforward, commonsense advice that no parent can afford to do without.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780380730476
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	08/21/2001
Pages:	480
Sales rank:	653,535
Product dimensions:	5.31(w) x 8.00(h) x 1.08(d)

About the Author

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer was the bestselling author of 20 books and had a doctorate in counseling psychology. He lectured across the country to groups numbering in the thousands and appeared regularly on radio and television. He passed away in August of 2015.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

What Do You Want More Than Anything for Your Children?

There is no wealth but life.
-- John Ruskin

Just for the fun of it, take a poll of all the parents you knew, asking them the question that I have used as the title of this very first chapter: "What do you want more than anything for your children?" While you are at it, ask yourself and your spouse (if you have one) the very same question and see what you discover as you begin reading this book. While you may receive a wide variety of responses, I suggest that if you categorize the answers you will find that the most significant responses gravitate around a central theme.

In my experience, when asking parents this leading question, and giving them time to consider the importance of such a profound question, the answers tend toward the ones you will find in the following list.

I want my children to be happy, and free from hang-ups in life.

I want them to know how to enjoy life and appreciate every day as a miracle.

I want them to feel successful and significant as people regardless of what they do.

I want them to have positive feelings about themselves and about life.

I want them to grow up knowing how to avoid having the inevitable problems defeat them in any way.

I want them to avoid being depressed and miserable.

I want them to avoid growing up to be neurotic.

I want them to have a strong sense of inner peace that will sustain them through difficult times.

I want them to value the now: to take pleasure in life's journey, avoiding overemphasis on adestination.

I want them to know that they are the designers of their lives, that they have the power to choose and change their lives.

I want them to be sensitive and responsible to, and have a reverence for, nature and humanity.

I want them to find and explore their potential and feel satisfied and challenged with a purpose in life.

I want them to feel loved and loving.

I want them to find the opportunities that are hidden in life's inevitable painful experiences.

I want them to be on friendly terms with health-physically and mentally.

These am the typical answers, condensed into a few simple sentences, that I have received in response to this question. Parents do not seem to be obsessed with having their children become rich and famous, or with wanting them to have problem-free lives. They are not absolutely determined that their children should have idyllic jobs, a beautiful home, a marriage to a perfect "10," and a storybook family fife as portrayed on television and in the movies- Parents seem to be realistic in their goals for their children. They know that things will not bring happiness, and they do not want to teach their children to accumulate things in a search for happiness. We -all seem to have come to the realization in recent years that acquisitions, position in life, accumulation of wealth. and some of the more traditional barometers of a successful life are no longer appropriate. We have all heard too many stories of 11 successful" people who are addicted to tranquilizers, who must visit their shrinks regularly, who view depression as "only normal," who consider suicide as a solution to fife's problems, or who are so busy pursuing "more" that they have no time for enjoying life,

People have become wary of those undesirable accompaniments to success, and want their children to develop instead a kind of serenity and happiness that will carry them through even the toughest of times. I am quite confident that you want your children to grow into contented, highly functioning, no-limit adults who will be able to handle all of life's difficulties without allowing themselves to be so overwhelmed by them that they are either defeated in some way, or so badly bruised that they come to rely on external measures such as pills, therapy, or even surgery to cope with life. In short, you want your kids to grow up to be mr-limit people in every single aspect of their lives, and to enjoy life without developing a sour attitude or a defeatist posture.

You want them to be positive about their lives, rather than grumblers. You want them to feel successful rather than having some external factor determine their degree of success.

The Ability to Enjoy Life

Think for a moment about the greatest priority in life. Imagine for yourself, and for your children, that you were all bequeathed the ability to enjoy life regardless of the circumstances around you u. If someone abandoned you, nevertheless you would still know how to enjoy life. If you were faced with a serious illness or about to go through a difficult tax audit, you would still be able to enjoy life. Disappointments would come and go, yet because of your inherited gift, you would always know how to enjoy life. Given this imaginary ability, it would be impossible for you to ever be a burden to anyone else; therefore, you would be as unselfish as is humanly possible. Naturally, if you could always enjoy life, you wouldn't have a set of expectations for other people to provide enjoyment for you, regardless of what they chose at any given moment. What a miraculous gift this ability to enjoy life at all times would be.

You do have this capacity! It need not exist only in your imagination. You can make it very real for yourself and inspire this marvelous quality in your children. After reviewing your objectives for your children and considering all the possibilities of things you might provide for them, it almost always boils down to this one wish: "I would love for my children to always have the ability to enjoy life." If this sentence describes what you would like to provide...

What Do You Really Want for Your Children?. Copyright © by Wayne Dyer. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Editorial Reviews

Well-known pop psychologist Dyer ( Your Erroneous Zones ) coaches parents in raising ``no-limit'' (emotionally healthy) children. In an admittedly repetitious but highly readable style, he covers topics like risk-taking, living in the present, self-reliance, and creativity. Each chapter includes strategies, negative child/parent behaviors, and the support systems (``payoffs'') for maintaining desirable behaviors. Dyer's message (directed at kids, but meant for everyone) is sometimes philosophical, often opinionated, and definitely motivational. The catch is that neurotic parents (the majority, according to the author) must first become good role models. Nevertheless, the book has much to offer, especially about reinforcing attitudes of physical ``wellness.'' First serial rights to Ladies Home Journal . Janice Arenofsky, formerly with Arizona State Lib., Phoenix

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