What Doesn't Kill You: A Life with Chronic Illness - Lessons from a Body in Revolt

by Tessa Miller Narrated by Tessa Miller

Overview

A riveting and candid account of a young journalist's awakening to a life of chronic illness, weaving together her personal story with reporting to shed light on how Americans live with long-term diagnoses today.

Tessa Miller was an ambitious twentysomething writer in New York City when, on a random fall day, her stomach began to seize up. At first, she tried to push through the searing pain, taking time off work and staying home, glued to the toilet. But when it became glaringly apparent something was wrong, Miller gave in to her family's requests and went to the hospital-and thus started a years-long personal nightmare that included procedures, misdiagnoses, and life-threatening infections. Once Miller was finally correctly diagnosed with Crohn's disease, she had yet another new battle to face: accepting that she will, in truth, never get better.

Today, 3 in 5 adults in the United States suffer from a chronic ailment, whether the illness is endometriosis, IBD, IBS, Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, asthma, depression, anxiety, diabetes, or any other chronic ailment. However, despite the prevalence of these illnesses and the impact they have on just about everyone-whether the sufferer is a colleague, a loved one, or you personally-there remains an air of shame and isolation around the topic. Millions endure these diseases alone, not only physically but also emotionally, balancing the stress of relationships and work amidst the ever-looming threat of health complications.

Moving from Miller's maddening yet all too relatable experience into a deeper look at how the medical community handles chronic illness, What Doesn't Kill You exposes the realities of what it means to accept a lifetime diagnosis, pushing past the good, the bad, and the ugly to offer wisdom and solidarity for those trying to make sense of it all.

*This audiobook includes a PDF of resources from the appendix of the book.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"In this riveting memoir, journalist Tessa Miller describes the sudden onset of severe Crohn's disease in her twenties. . . . Evocative. . . . She analyzes studies and statistics about healthcare chronic illness in the U.S., including racial and gender discrimination. It's a fascinating and disturbing read."
—BuzzFeed

"[Miller] writes with precision, conviction, respect and thoughtfulness about pain as well as the disparate, and at times unjust, experiences that people face when navigating the American health care system. . . . What Doesn't Kill You is relentlessly researched and undeniably smart, but more than that, it is humane and offers reliable information to chronically ill people and their allies."
—The New York Times

"[Miller] puts her experiences to paper, detailing the many ways her life changed after her diagnosis . . . all in a digestible, authentic manner. . . . As applicable and important of a read as ever."
—Shape

"More than a memoir . . . [Miller] offers hard-earned wisdom, solidarity, and hope for others facing the medical, occupational, and social realities inherent in receiving a lifetime diagnosis."
—Life and Style

"Miller weaves together her harrowing story of navigating the health care system with frank and funny observations about living with an invisible disease, making this a must-read."
—Ok! Magazine

"Powerful and moving. . . . A source of hope and comfort for those living with a long-term ailment."
—Star

“Chronically ill people, their loved ones, and their colleagues will find useful advice and food for thought in this conversational, revealing memoir and guide. . . [A] page-turner and a quality resource.
—Booklist

“A clear, no-holds-barred account that will be useful both to those coming to grips with their own chronic illness and also to the people in their lives.”
—Library Journal

"What Doesn't Kill You would have been engrossing as a memoir of illness, and infuriating as a polemic against the dysfunctional, often malicious American healthcare system. Instead, through skill and deep insight, it manages to be even more. Equal parts personal history, polemic and guidebook, its service journalism is invaluable for those living with 'a body in revolt,' as Miller puts it. The dividing line between the land of the well and that of the sick is an often blurry one, and Miller documents life on its uncertain borders with clarity and force."
—Anna Merlan, Author of Republic of Lies

"This is a must-read book for anyone suffering chronic illness, and for the people who care for them. Beautifully written, and full of keen personal observations, What Doesn't Kill You is a powerful memoir and a smart self-help book rolled into one. Living with an invisible disability like Crohn's is a lonely business, but Tessa Miller makes you feel less alone. Her voice is funny, helpful, and most of all honest—she doesn't sugar-coat the truth, which is that life with a chronic disease is really damn hard. But you don't have to be hard on yourself, too. There are ways to ease the pain, both mental and physical, and this book is a good place to start learning what that means."
—Annalee Newitz, bestselling author of Autonomous and Scatter, Adapt, and Remember

"A book you don’t just read, but inhabit. Tessa Miller powerfully captures all the pain and beauty of being alive in this beautiful hybrid of memoir and journalism. If you have a chronic illness, What Doesn’t Kill You will make you feel seen; to everyone else, it offers the opportunity to listen without judgment and, ultimately, to care about bodies different from your own."
—Samantha Allen, Author of Real Queer America

"Unflinchingly honest, What Doesn’t Kill You provides an unfiltered look at what it truly means to be sick. Miller takes her years navigating the health care system and distills them into crucial resources and eye-opening insights. A must-read for those trying to navigate life with a chronic illness."
—Jordan Davidson, Co-founder of Endo Warriors and women's health advocate

"Breathtaking. Miller brings together an absolutely frank personal memoir with scientific accuracy about her disease and insights into relationships, the mind-body connection, and our broken health system. She turns her life into an affirming guidebook to living with warmth, compassion, humor, humility, and generosity. This book will make you want to be a better friend, colleague, daughter, son, sibling, and partner."
—Esther Choo, MD, MPH, Associate Professor of Emergency Medicine and Co-founder of Equity Quotient

"This is a book to press into someone's hands and say 'read this.' It both makes you feel you really know the author, and makes you want to spend more time with her to get to know her better. What Doesn't Kill You is by turns harrowing, heartbreaking, funny and practical, but it is compassionate on every single page. It is a book for people with chronic illness, people who love someone with a chronic illness, people who care for patients with chronic illness, and people who may one day develop a chronic illness. In other words, it is a book for everyone."
—Daniel Summers, MD, Slate and Daily Beast columnist

Library Journal

01/01/2021

As more is learned about the long-term effects of COVID-19, health and science journalist Miller offers a timely description of the ramifications of a chronic illness. The story of her struggle with Crohn's disease provides the undergirding for a broader look at how every aspect of life is impacted by any disease that doesn't kill, but also doesn't go away. She begins with a graphic account of how her own life was upended and changed forever by the symptoms that eventually led to a correct diagnosis. Miller is open about her own struggles and intertwines autobiographical portions with reflections on life with chronic illnesses. She discusses interactions with the medical world; grieving over what will never be; evolving interactions with family, friends, coworkers, and bosses; and the reality of a new self-image. There is a chapter outlining specific things those who interact with people with chronic illness need to know (e.g. " 'inspirational' isn't exactly a compliment") and one in which others with chronic illness are quoted saying what now gives them joy. VERDICT A clear, no-holds-barred account that will be useful both to those coming to grips with their own chronic illness and also to the people in their lives.—Richard Maxwell, Porter Adventist Hosp. Lib., Denver

Kirkus Reviews

2020-11-05
A young writer’s unflinching account of her battle with Crohn’s disease.

Miller was a 24-year-old editor at Lifehacker when she was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, an incurable form of inflammatory bowel disease. In this blend of harrowing memoir and self-help tips, she chronicles how she achieved remission after nightmarish years of hospitalizations complicated by nasty attacks from the “extremely contagious and hard to treat” bacteria known as C. diff, which required three fecal microbiota transplants. Before she tamed her disease with medication, she endured countless physical indignities—from having to wear adult diapers to leaving a dinner party 20 times to use the bathroom—as well as “mental Olympics,” which she powerfully describes as “the depression and anxiety that come along with a malfunctioning body; the defeat of visiting doctor after doctor only to hear ‘it’s all in your head’; the sick, sleepless nights worried about health insurance; the hope of a new treatment and the crushing loss when it doesn’t work; the longing for loved ones to understand that you’re the same you—except not; the grieving of a self that doesn’t exist anymore; the PTSD from long hospital stays and invasive procedures; the new rules of an unrecognizable body; the inescapable loneliness.” Miller intersperses vivid tales of her struggle with a hard sell for talk therapy and pages of overfamiliar advice on coping with chronic diseases: “Platitudes are annoying, but I’ve learned over the last decade that sometimes they’re true: There is light at the end of the tunnel, time doesheal, and the sun will come out tomorrow—so long as you do the work.” Readers with Crohn’s and other chronic conditions may find this book so valuable they won’t mind the banalities, but more insightful writing on a similar topic appears in Everything Happens for a Reason, Kate Bowler’s inspiring book about her colon cancer diagnosis.

Frank reflections and well-worn advice on living with an incurable disease.

Product Details

BN ID:	2940177299044
Publisher:	Penguin Random House
Publication date:	02/02/2021
Edition description:	Unabridged

Videos