When He Was Anna: A Mom's Journey Into the Transgender World

by Patti Hornstra

Overview

My child is transgender.

He was once a she. 

When He Was Anna: A Mom's Journey Into the Transgender World is a mother's brutally honest story of the stress and confusion that consumed her family in the early years of her child's transition from female to male.  In the end, there is one certainty--the struggle is real; so is the love.

In "When He Was Anna: A Mom's Journey Into the Transgender World," Patti courageously shares her doubts, anxiety, and gut-wrenching questions she has about her teenager's difficult choice. In this beautiful, raw, and emotional book, Patti bares her soul. Through humor and candor, Patti shares her journey and allows other parents a chance to honestly explore their feelings so they can make their way through the complicated world of parenting, pronouns and loving a transgender child.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781950306398
Publisher:	KWE Publishing
Publication date:	11/17/2020
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	321
File size:	245 KB

About the Author

Patti Hornstra is a native of Richmond, Virginia, and a graduate from Virginia Commonwealth University with degrees in Marketing and Business Education. She married the love of her life, Curtis, in 1987 and together they have raised four children. They have adjusted nicely to life as empty nesters and eagerly await life's next great adventure. Patti is the author of Unholy Scandal: Based on a True Story and When He Was Anna: A Mom's Journey Into the Transgender World. Follow her at www.authorpattihornstra.com

Editorial Reviews

2021-10-05
A religious parent recounts raising a transgender child in this debut memoir.

Though Hornstra’s life as a dedicated wife of 34 years and self-described “control-freak” mother of four is certainly brimming with family stories, her focus in this touching book is on her youngest daughter, Anna Marie. After a challenging, emotional journey, Anna transitioned at the age of 16 to become the Virginia author’s son, Tristan Blaine. Anna was a whip-smart child in grade school who became introverted and withdrawn in adolescence, embracing “dark clothes, dark eyeliner, dark music.” The high school years were consumed by participating in a marching band and, despite a series of psychotherapists, honing the kind of youthful independence that alienates parents. The family’s biggest challenge arrived when Anna announced he felt male and intended to embark on a gender-transition odyssey. Throughout Hornstra’s honest and consistently earnest narration, her Roman Catholic faith played a key role in how the author initially treated the revelation, hesitated to embrace it, and continued to integrate it into her family’s reality. Despite numerous bouts of rage, miscommunication, painful missteps, and Hornstra’s dubiousness about her son’s decision, Tristan blossomed and soon began testosterone hormone therapy. The author’s narrative is refreshingly frank, brazen, and outspoken. Readers seeking a searching report on the struggles of a transgender teenager won’t find it here. Without question, this work is unabashedly Hornstra’s personal saga: a mother’s candid confessional from her own heart that candy-coats no detail or emotion. This direct tone is set right from the book’s introduction, where the author acknowledges Tristan’s transition yet finds herself continuously trying to grasp the situation while not completely understanding it, admitting “deep down inside, I still don’t get it. The emotional struggle remains.” Writing about the process and its emotional heft became a therapeutic salve and a way to handle and eventually accept the associated grief, heartache, confusion, and complications of her position as a mother parenting a transgender child. These kinds of revelations will resonate with readers who find themselves at a critical crossroads in a similar situation or mired in uncertainty throughout this delicate, precarious process. In addition, Hornstra offers a practical glossary of relevant terms and follow-up reading material.

A forthright and moving portrait of parental love and its capacity for acceptance.

Kirkus Reviews