Read an Excerpt
Excerpt from Wildfire:
CLAUDETTE is leaning over a crib.
CLAUDETTE
MOM-MY... MOM-MY ... Come on, that’s it. Open your mouth. MOM-MY... I know you want to. Yes you do! You want to talk to your dear MOM-MY! Yes you do! Say something to Mommy, Mommy, your dear Mommy who loves, loves, loves you!
(she jumps) Oh! Yeah... That’s it... Open up... No barfing... No crying... Just say the word –
GABRIEL
Mom-my...
CLAUDETTE
Yes! Yes!
GABRIEL
When... I grow up... I am go-ing... to put you in... the fi-re.
Excerpt from The Shoe:
Helen, at reception, takes the top on and off a box.
HELEN
Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo!
She plays the game with joyful abandon. MELANIE and BENOIT enter.
HELEN
Hello! Come on in...
(BENOIT sits and starts drawing. MELANIE comes over to the box. HELEN takes off the lid.)
Peek-a-boo!
(MELANIE can’t hide her disgust.)
Ugly, isn't he? I know he's ugly! Just look how ugly he is! You're ugly, oh yes you * are! So ugly, you're beautiful! Last week I was walking by the pet store. The window * was full of them. They were all jumping around, like: "Pick me! Pick me! See, I'm adorable!" Bleagh. Is there anything more disgusting than cuteness? I took the little * reject at the back of the cage: the one missing a paw, a lot of fur, and half an ear. I named him Hercules. He deserves to be a hero, too.
MELANIE
Is it a dog or a cat?
HELEN
No clue! I should announce "Benoit and his mother", right? How do I know? Because you're our only appointment today.
(intercom)
"Benoit and his mother are here. Attention, please. Benoit and his mother are here." I see that it's your first time seeing––
(She stops suddenly, really seeing MELANIE for the first time.)
Oh... Are you all right?
MELANIE
Me? Fine. Why?
HELEN
(indicating MELANIE's face)
Because... that.
MELANIE
That?
HELEN
That face of yours... Tough morning?
MELANIE
Not at all. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
HELEN
Saying things three times is never a good sign. May I offer you something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Martini? And you, Benoit? Would you like a glass of milk? Juice? Coke?
MELANIE
Coke? Before his check-up?
HELEN
Sure! He's young, he should live a little. What'll you have, Benoit? Benoit?
MELANIE
Benoit, the nice receptionist is talking to you...
(No reaction.)
Sorry, he blocks out the world when he's drawing.
HELEN
Look at him. Like an angel.
MELANIE
Almost...
HELEN
So, this is your first appointment with us. Let's start by opening a file for you. First question: do you have dental insurance?
MELANIE
I'm a custard worker at Donut Donut. I fill a doughnut with custard. Then I do it again. And again. And again.
HELEN
So, no insurance?
MELANIE
So, no insurance. Next question.
HELEN
No, that was it. You're ready for the dentist.
MELANIE
Shh! Don't say that word.
HELEN
Dentist? Why shouldn't I say dentist?
Benoit begins to do the Hissy Deluxe.
MELANIE
That's why...
HELEN
Wow. Is that a dance?
MELANIE
No. It's a meltdown. That's the Hissy Deluxe. And this is the Epileptic King Kong.
HELEN
I could never get my elbows to do that. Should we move the furniture?
MELANIE
Nah. I've got this. Don't worry: I'm an expert. Benoit? Benoit? Would you rather have a toothache for the rest of your life?
(BENOIT nods.)
No, you wouldn't... Benoit, if we don't take care of your teeth they'll all fall out, and you'll have to eat cream of broccoli morning, noon, and night. Is that what you
want?
(BENOIT nods.)
No, it isn't... Don't make me say You-Know-What... Forgive me, but... Dentist! Dentist! Dentist! Den––
SIMEON the dentist enters. He is partially mummified. BENOIT stops his tantrum immediately and stares at him, as if hypnotized.
