You Can't Be Serious

by Kal Penn

Overview

Notes From Your Bookseller

The actor made famous from his role in the Harold & Kumar movie franchise has led a varied and interesting life. He has worked hard in Hollywood and, even in the White House as an advisor to President Obama. While he has earned some political stripes, his love is for writing and entertaining. This memoir does both — showcases his writing chops and is fun to read.

The star of the Harold and Kumar franchise, House, and Designated Survivor recounts why he rejected the advice of his aunties and guidance counselors and, instead of becoming a doctor or “something practical,” embarked on a surprising journey that has included confronting racism in Hollywood, meeting his future husband, and working in the Obama administration, in this “incredibly joyful and insightful” (Kiefer Sutherland) memoir.

You Can’t Be Serious is a series of funny, consequential, awkward, and ridiculous stories from Kal Penn’s idiosyncratic life. It’s about being the grandson of Gandhian freedom fighters, and the son of immigrant parents: people who came to this country with very little and went very far—and whose vision of the American dream probably never included their son sliding off an oiled-up naked woman in the raunchy Ryan Reynolds movie Van Wilder...or getting a phone call from Air Force One as Kal flew with the country’s first Black president.

“By turns hilarious, poignant, and inspiring” (David Axelrod, New York Times bestselling author), Kal reflects on the most exasperating and rewarding moments from his journey so far. He pulls back the curtain on the nuances of opportunity and racism in the entertainment industry and recounts how he built allies, found encouragement, and dealt with early reminders that he might never fit in. He describes his initially unpromising first date with his now-fiancé Josh, involving an 18-pack of Coors Light and an afternoon of watching NASCAR. And of course, he reveals how, after a decade and a half of fighting for and enjoying successes in Hollywood, he made the terrifying but rewarding decision to take a sabbatical from a fulfilling acting career for an opportunity to serve his country as an Obama White House aide.

Above all, You Can’t Be Serious shows that everyone can have more than one life story. The book “is insightful, funny, and instructive for anyone who’s ever grappled with how they fit into the American dream” (Ronan Farrow, New York Times bestselling author), and demonstrates that no matter who you are and where you come from, you have many more choices than those presented to you. And okay, yes, it’s also about how Kal accidentally (and very stupidly) accepted an invitation to take the entire White House Office of Public Engagement to a strip club—because, let’s be honest, that’s the kind of stuff you really want to hear about.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781982171391
Publisher:	Gallery Books
Publication date:	08/09/2022
Pages:	384
Sales rank:	604,937
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Kal Penn has played leading roles in some of the world’s most-watched television shows, including How I Met Your Mother, 24, Designated Survivor, House, and more. He currently stars on the Disney Junior animated series Mira, Royal Detective. He was also the cocreator and star of the NBC/Universal comedy Sunnyside, and host, cocreator, and executive producer of a six-episode series in October 2020 for Disney’s Freeform Channel called Kal Penn Approves This Message, aimed at entertaining and informing young voters. On the big screen, Kal has starred in movies that have collectively grossed more than a billion dollars, including the Harold and Kumar franchise, National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, Superman Returns, The Namesake, and many other critically acclaimed blockbuster titles. He has also served as an adjunct lecturer in sociology and film studies at the University of Pennsylvania, and in sociology and political science at the University of California, Los Angeles. Kal has worked at the very highest levels of politics, as an Associate Director of the White House Office of Public Engagement, where he was President Obama’s Liaison to Young Americans, Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders, and the Arts communities in America. He was born and raised in New Jersey.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 There Is No Excuse for You … 1

Chapter 2 What Happened to the Other Thirteen Points? (and Other Questions That Don't Have Answers) 21

Chapter 3 You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It Too 46

Chapter 4 Why Do You Do These Weird Things? 56

Chapter 5 The Panoch 65

Chapter 6 How (Not) to Produce Movies 85

Chapter 7 Auditioning to Be Latino 100

Chapter 8 On Fire 114

Chapter 9 Of Salinger and Strip Clubs 135

Chapter 10 Living the Dream 141

Chapter 11 No Prior Experience 167

Chapter 12 Utopia (The Underdog, Part One) 183

Chapter 13 Two Mini Hacks if You Ever Move into the Quality Inn in Downtown Des Moines 198

Chapter 14 Respect, Empower, Include (The Underdog, Part Two) 200

Chapter 15 I Applied for My White House Job Online 208

Chapter 16 A Letter to a Thirty-One-Year-Old Me 231

Chapter 17 You Down with OPE? 253

Chapter 18 NASCAR and Chill 265

Chapter 19 Have a Heart 279

Chapter 20 #SexyFace 299

Chapter 21 How to Do Business with Gangstaz 317

Chapter 22 (pea) Cock Blocked 330

Chapter 23 You Can't Be Serious 362

Acknowledgments 365

Photography Credits 369

Editorial Reviews

It’s crazy to me that a groundbreaking actor like Kal Penn is also so funny, humble, and down-to-earth. His life is fascinating and his book is wonderful.”
– MINDY KALING, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Why Not Me?, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), and Nothing Like I Imagined (Except for Sometimes)

"Kal Penn's journey is insightful, funny, and instructive for anyone who's ever grappled with how they fit into the American dream."
– RONAN FARROW, New York Times bestselling author of Catch and Kill and War on Peace

“Kal Penn is an American treasure. Which means that this book is essentially a treasure map. And the words inside the book are gems. And probably some of the words are also a skeleton with a bejeweled crown and an eye patch that has cobwebs all in between the skeleton fingers that are clutching all the gems because the treasure was so shiny and valuable that the skeleton happily perished while being buried with them. THAT’S how good this book is!”
– ANDY SAMBERG

“Kal is one of the most intriguing human beings I’ve ever met. His stories are magical and inspiring, and the way he tells them provides a ton of lessons to be learned. All his stories are must-reads.”
– ROB GRONKOWSKI, New York Times bestselling author of It’s Good to Be Gronk

“An incredibly joyful and insightful experience for the reader . . . Kal Penn’s journey is unique and special and demands respect. He delivers his story with a kind of compassion and humor we simply do not usually see. I recommend this read to anyone and everyone.”
– KIEFER SUTHERLAND

"This is such an enjoyable read—fearless, yet respectful on every page! The self-deprecation and other missteps had me rolling with laughter, and the candor with which Kal talks about some of his struggles made me emotional. An inspiring book!"
– TONY SHALHOUB

"By turns hilarious, poignant, and inspiring, Kal Penn’s memoir is a gem. A great read!"
– DAVID AXELROD, New York Times bestselling author of Believer: My Forty Years in Politics and former senior strategist for President Barack Obama

“Kal Penn’s new memoir is a must-read for brown kids in America.”
– ZOFEEN MAQSOOD, The American Bazaar

"Looking for a book that’ll make you laugh out loud? Look no further."
– DAILY HIVE

“A gift for anyone in need of a laugh or pep talk, You Can’t Be Serious is loaded with a perfect blend of ‘you can’t make this stuff up’ and ‘don’t stop believing’ fun.”
– ROXANNE BAKER, SRQ Daily

From the Publisher

"Penn has created a unique, honest performance, very different from the standard celebrity tell-all. This is an enjoyable and informative listen delivered by a pop-culture figure who's all grown up."

AudioFile Magazine

06/01/2021

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist De Visé (Andy and Don) offers an extensively researched biography of B.B. King, the immortal King of the Blues. Former New York Times music critic Horowitz investigates the crucial issue why classical music in America has remained white despite Dvorák's Prophecy that a "great and noble" school of American classical music would emerge from the Black music he had heard while visiting America. Edited by novelist Cameron, Solid Ivory ranges from fabled director Ivory's first meeting with work-life partner Ismail Merchant through his memories of Satyajit Ray, Federico Fellini, Vanessa Redgrave, George Cukor, Kenneth Clark, Bruce Chatwin, and Ruth Prawer Jhabvala to his winning the Academy Award at 89 for Call Me by Your Name. Edited by Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Muldoon, who benefited from dozens of interviews with McCartney over five years, The Lyrics presents the definitive texts of 154 McCartney songs with personal commentary; look for an international press conference on Facebook event upon publication. The grandson of Gandhian freedom fighters and immigrant parents, Penn ignored advice to do something practical and, as he chronicles in You Can't Be Serious, became a leading actor; he also served as President Obama's Liaison to Young Americans, Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders, and the Arts (125,000-copy first printing). Readers travel with influential rapper Raekwon the Chef as he ascends From Staircase to Stage, from performing on Staten Island stairs to cofounding the Wu-Tang Clan to making a platinum solo debut (75,000-copy first printing). Author of the New York Times best-selling The Beatles, Spitz now documents the ferociously successful Led Zeppelin.

Library Journal

Fans will be grateful that Kal Penn, known for the Harold & Kumar movies, narrates his own memoir because he brings his signature comedy to every moment. We are treated to an easy, comfortable style that switches smoothly between stories of growing up a child of immigrants and behind-the-scenes moments on Hollywood sets. What might surprise many is Penn's intellectual side, which comes out in his anecdotes of serving as a White House aide under Barack Obama. This mix of actor and politician is a welcome surprise that adds many levels to the listening experience. Penn has created a unique, honest performance, very different from the standard celebrity tell-all. This is an enjoyable and informative listen delivered by a pop-culture figure who's all grown up. M.R. © AudioFile 2021, Portland, Maine

OCTOBER 2021 - AudioFile

★ 2021-11-01
How the ambitious, idealistic son of Indian immigrants became a force for change as both a beloved comic actor and an accidental public servant.

Though some news stories about Penn's memoir tout it as a coming-out story, that topic is barely mentioned in this personal history. Bullied for his ethnic background from kindergarten onward, the author points to seeing the Mira Nair film Mississippi Masalaat 15 as a life-changing experience, primarily because "brown people" are on screen doing something besides "eating monkey brains," and secondarily because "having sex with someone like Denzel Washington might be a real possibility someday!" Nevertheless, he writes, "discovering my sexuality was still a ways off,” and he doesn’t mention it further until the charming account of finding his current partner during the period he worked in the Obama White House for the Office of Public Engagement. What he does discuss in depth is the outrageous casual racism that plagued every phase of his career, from the agent who wouldn’t meet him in his college days at UCLA, because "you might play a cabdriver once or twice, but it wouldn’t be worth his time and effort to represent someone who isn’t going to work regularly,” all the way through NBC's rough handling of Penn's dream project, Sunnyside, in 2019. After being forced to do an Indian accent during a one-line appearance on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Penn almost lost the part of a character named “Taj Mahal Badalandabad” in Van Wilderto a White actor in brownface. The one place that the author found diversity and equity was the Obama campaign. His involvement there, and then in the White House, is recounted with characteristic humility and good humor. No mention is made of the Trump years or the pandemic, which seems just as well.

Penn has a pleasing ability to be serious and funny at the same time. A story well worth hearing.

Kirkus Reviews