Table of Contents
Public Service Announcement x
FAQ xi
Introduction 1
Movie Nights 3
Getting to Go to Heaven Someday 5
Basketball 7
Solving Murders 9
Escaping the Tyranny of the Thing That Rules Over You 11
Christmas 13
Los Angeles 15
Checkers & Chess 17
Going on Dates 19
Jelly Beans 21
Dreams & Wishes 23
The Stranger Who Gave Me a Half-Eaten Panini on the Bus the Other Day 25
Rubber Rain Boots 27
Fashion Shows 29
The Homies 31
Nookie 33
Politics 35
Fables 37
Cheering and Doing a Human Pyramid 39
Pancakes 41
Hills 43
Giving Motivational Speeches 45
Booping Someone on the Nose 47
Drinks 49
Farting 51
Talking with Friends About Love 53
Gold Mines 55
Frogs 57
Flowers 59
Fraternities 61
Whales 63
Coins 65
That Strange Rustling Sound in the Bushes 67
Old Men with Big Muscles 69
The Moon 71
Thinking 73
Dancing 91
The Concept of Time 93
Catching Robbers 95
Free Cheese 97
Serious Books 99
Lighthouses 101
Saying Sorry 103
Castles 105
Being a Parent 107
Visor Hats 109
Neighbors 111
Celebrities 113
Quitting Things 115
Gymnastics 117
Husbands 119
Restaurants 121
Dogs 123
The American West 125
Heavy Bedding 127
The Moors 129
Technology 131
Chilling Out at the Park and Not Worrying About Anything 133
Starting Your Own Business 135
Women 137
The Ocean 139
Jokes 141
Beef Jerky 143
Jackets 145
Scary Movies 147
U.S. History 149
Cats 151
Sunday School 153
Websites 155
New York City 157
Cars 159
Romantic Relationships 161
Shoplifting 163
Braiding Things 165
Saying Prayers 167
I Forgot Something About Prayers (To Give You One to Say) 169
Bags 171
Apple Harvests 173
Going to the Cinema 175
Halloween Masks 177
Questions for Book Club Discussion 178
Acknowledgments 179
