Table of Contents
Foreword Anthony Bourdain vii
Chapter 1 How I Failed at Being a Serial Killer, Off, Why I Am a Comedian 1
Chapter 2 Being Born: I'll Never Do that Again 33
Chapter 3 The Countless Stages Of Death 47
Chapter 4 All this Venereal Disease and No One to Share It With 65
Chapter 5 Name Your Own Chapter 71
Chapter 6 It's Not Me, It's U.S.A. 79
Chapter 7 Little Airline Bottles in the Big Apple 95
Chapter 8 Friendshit 109
Chapter 9 Screwing Up, Down, and All Over Town 117
Chapter 10 Once You've Seen One Sunrise, You're Tired All Day 131
Chapter 11 Follow Your Dreams, Especially If They Take Gower 143
Chapter 12 Nowhere to Go But Up Yours 159
Chapter 13 Laughter is the Best Medicine, Unless You Have Actual Medicine 177
Chapter 14 Working 10:00 To 10.15, What a Way to Make a Living 191
Chapter 15 Equality is for Under Achievers, Am I Right, Ladies? 199
Chapter 16 The B Team 223
Chapter 17 Midseason Programming in the Garden of Good and Evil 237
Chapter 18 F*** Censorship! 249
Appendix A How to Deal with a Reckler 261
Appendix B How to Get Representation 263
Appendix C How to Properly Give a Compliment to a Working Comedian 267
Appendix D How to Properly Receive a Compliment if Your are a working Comedian 269
Acknowledgments 273
