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Narrated by: Clinton Kelly

Abridged — 4 hours, 55 minutes

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Overview

Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore-unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high-school commencement speaker.

Whether he's throwing his baby sister in the air to jumpstart her cheerleading career or heroically rescuing his bes...